| 8 |
16-12-2025 11:26 |
Our mum died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept tel
|
| 6 |
01-05-2026 14:12 |
The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to think of a w
|
| 6 |
29-04-2026 22:02 |
A young, heavily pregnant Irish lass is involved in a car crash and is put into
|
| 6 |
15-03-2026 20:54 |
What's 10 foot long and stinks of piss??
Conga line in an old peoples home
|
| 6 |
11-02-2026 16:18 |
I went for a job with the RSPB. The interviewer asked me what could I tell them
|
| 6 |
19-12-2025 15:29 |
My wife asks me, "What do you like most about me, my pretty face, or my sexy bod
|
| 6 |
19-12-2025 15:27 |
Teacher asks her class, "If I said, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?"
One
|
| 5 |
28-04-2026 17:52 |
A driver is travelling through a forest when he comes across a man tied to a tre
|
| 5 |
27-04-2026 17:21 |
What is the difference between Neighbours and Prince Charles?
Neighbours had
|
| 5 |
24-04-2026 14:33 |
Little Johnny was curious as to the mysteries of female anatomy, so he decided o
|
| 5 |
21-04-2026 21:16 |
A young lady is on a cliff edge about to jump to her death, she is approached by
|
| 5 |
15-04-2026 20:08 |
Jesus walks into a hotel, drops four nails on the counter, and says "Put me up f
|
| 5 |
15-04-2026 06:59 |
A woman phones up the police and states that she's been "graped"
The police r
|
| 5 |
12-04-2026 19:02 |
What do vegetarian worms eat?
Linda McCartney.
|
| 5 |
06-04-2026 20:35 |
Two Japanese sewage workers have been working the same stretch of sewer for twen
|
| 5 |
03-04-2026 20:55 |
What do you call a Somalian standing on a snow topped mountain?
A 99.
|
| 5 |
02-04-2026 19:35 |
What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?
Having a Miscarriage
|
| 5 |
01-04-2026 19:18 |
What do you call a dog with wings?
Linda McCartney
|
| 5 |
01-04-2026 19:16 |
How do you stop black kids from jumping on their beds?
Put Velcro on the ceil
|
| 5 |
12-03-2026 22:45 |
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being disabled in the
|
| 5 |
09-03-2026 21:57 |
Two men are out walking, they decide to go off in different directions, walking
|
| 5 |
09-03-2026 09:10 |
What's the difference between a family reunion and a 69er?
In a 69er you only
|
| 5 |
07-03-2026 08:43 |
Why doesn't Michael Barrymore have any ashtrays?
Because he puts his fags out
|
| 5 |
28-02-2026 14:52 |
What is the national bird of Iran?
A US drone
|
| 5 |
20-02-2026 08:24 |
I just watched an Australian cooking show and the audience cheered when the chef
|
| 5 |
18-02-2026 10:32 |
I read a book about an immortal dog. It was impossible to put down.
|
| 5 |
07-02-2026 21:41 |
I bought a jack in the box for 50p. But it doesn't work.
Why am I not surprised
|
| 5 |
03-02-2026 13:09 |
The wife's just thrown 5 cricket balls at me.
I said one more and it's over.
|
| 5 |
12-12-2025 15:10 |
Brother was banging his sister.
He says, "You fuck like Mum,"
She laughs.
He
|
| 4 |
02-05-2026 20:11 |
A Policeman is driving down the street when he sees a man pouring petrol over a
|
| 4 |
01-05-2026 14:14 |
I used to be into necrophilia until some rotten cunt split on me
|
| 4 |
01-05-2026 14:14 |
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who en
|
| 4 |
29-04-2026 22:04 |
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck it off
|
| 4 |
28-04-2026 10:48 |
I was just in the queue at the supermarket when Diana Ross tried to push in.
|
| 4 |
20-04-2026 21:35 |
My parents went to New York on September the 11th and all I got back was a blood
|
| 4 |
20-04-2026 21:32 |
Three necrophiliacs are comparing their likes. The first says "I like to fuck th
|
| 4 |
20-04-2026 21:30 |
How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
Call her and tell he
|
| 4 |
17-04-2026 23:27 |
So this middle aged woman goes into hospital to have her vagina tightened. The y
|
| 4 |
15-04-2026 20:06 |
A father is waiting outside the maternity ward when the nurse comes out and ushe
|
| 4 |
13-04-2026 17:24 |
What do you do if you go downstairs at night and see your TV floating in midair?
|
| 4 |
12-04-2026 19:00 |
A young mother is pregnant with triplets when she is shot by a gunman. A few yea
|
| 4 |
07-04-2026 19:07 |
A man staggers into hospital, says to the doctor "Arrrgh! I've been raped by an
|
| 4 |
05-04-2026 18:06 |
What's the difference between a piece of toast and French men?
You can make s
|
| 4 |
04-04-2026 17:28 |
Did you hear about the Paki that fucked a Princess?
He burnt his dick on the
|
| 4 |
03-04-2026 20:54 |
Jack and Jill went up the hill
so Jack could lick Jill's fanny.
All he got was
|
| 4 |
28-03-2026 20:29 |
What have anabolic steroids and the Ku Klux Klan got in common?
They both mak
|
| 4 |
27-03-2026 16:20 |
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
|
| 4 |
22-03-2026 14:25 |
How can you tell its bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
The big hand reaches
|
| 4 |
14-03-2026 19:54 |
What is the smallest pub in the world?
The Thalidomide Arms
|
| 4 |
13-03-2026 19:22 |
How do you make a woman scream twice?
Fuck her up the arse, then wipe your co
|
| 4 |
11-03-2026 18:17 |
How do you get an Iranian girl pregnant?
Cum on her shoes and let the flies d
|
| 4 |
10-03-2026 18:43 |
What is the similarity between a woman and a KFC mega bucket?
You start on th
|
| 4 |
07-03-2026 08:43 |
What's blue and doesn't fit?
A dead epileptic!
|
| 4 |
03-03-2026 20:33 |
2 condoms walk past a gay bar ...
...one says to the other "want to go in there
|
| 4 |
22-02-2026 16:53 |
We went to the local Bulimic Awareness Realization Foundation meeting yesterday.
|
| 4 |
16-02-2026 21:37 |
Every time the leper visits his favourite whore, he leaves a tip.
|
| 4 |
10-02-2026 15:04 |
How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Heh heh heh, 'sc
|
| 4 |
31-01-2026 19:10 |
Just buried my friend who was hit by a tennis ball. The service was great
|
| 4 |
30-01-2026 10:27 |
My mate said he didn’t understand what cloning was. I said that makes two of us.
|
| 3 |
06-05-2026 12:19 |
A man takes his daughter with him to the barber shop. She's happily eating a sna
|
| 3 |
06-05-2026 12:17 |
How do you make a bear cross?
Nail it to a plank of wood
|
| 3 |
06-05-2026 12:15 |
Ralph turns over to Mable and says
"If I'd known it was your first time I wou
|
| 3 |
04-05-2026 23:01 |
My black neighbour came round last week and said...
Mr. MadPeeps, your living
|
| 3 |
04-05-2026 22:50 |
Little girl to her Mum
"Mummy, Jimmy next doors' willy is like a peanut"
"Beca
|
| 3 |
03-05-2026 19:35 |
This blokes walking back from the pub. On his way home he goes through a park an
|
| 3 |
02-05-2026 20:16 |
There once was a vampire called Mabel
Who's periods were really quite stable
E
|
| 3 |
01-05-2026 14:11 |
A woman is woken up in the middle of the night by her husband jamming head-ache
|
| 3 |
29-04-2026 22:06 |
A married couple was invited to a Halloween party. That night, as they were
|
| 3 |
28-04-2026 17:56 |
Four Al-Qaeda thalidomide victims were arrested at Manchester airport yesterday.
|
| 3 |
27-04-2026 01:21 |
Princess Diana be doing if she was alive today?
Scratching on the lid of her
|
| 3 |
27-04-2026 01:19 |
Why are women like washing machines?
They both leak when they're fucked.
|
| 3 |
25-04-2026 18:58 |
Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest holiday destination?
He's going t
|
| 3 |
23-04-2026 18:05 |
A young courting couple are out for a romantic walk along a country lane. They w
|
| 3 |
23-04-2026 18:04 |
Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog on the lawn, licking his ball
|
| 3 |
23-04-2026 18:03 |
A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several
|
| 3 |
22-04-2026 19:26 |
A man and his wife are at the zoo.
She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink
|
| 3 |
21-04-2026 21:19 |
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
Pizza's don't scream when yo
|
| 3 |
21-04-2026 21:09 |
A man and his wife are on their honeymoon.
On the first night the man comes d
|
| 3 |
17-04-2026 23:30 |
At a four-year-old’s birthday party, the grown-ups were in the kitchen drinking
|
| 3 |
17-04-2026 23:22 |
Definition of gross: Sticking 12 oysters in an old woman's fanny and sucking out
|
| 3 |
16-04-2026 17:54 |
A man walks into a pub... sees a big jar filled with money behind the bar. He as
|
| 3 |
16-04-2026 17:51 |
What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?
Popeye kicked the shit out of h
|
| 3 |
16-04-2026 17:50 |
I was going to post a gag about flagellation, necrophilia and bestiality, but it
|
| 3 |
13-04-2026 17:22 |
A guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend in a fit of rage trashing all
|
| 3 |
11-04-2026 08:52 |
How do you make a dog drink?
Stick it in a blender
|
| 3 |
08-04-2026 20:11 |
What's got two legs and bleeds ?
Half a dog.
|
| 3 |
08-04-2026 20:10 |
What do you do if a kitten spits at you?
Turn the grill down a little.
|
| 3 |
07-04-2026 19:11 |
A woman gives birth to the smartest baby ever.
The baby is able to talk. The ne
|
| 3 |
06-04-2026 20:38 |
Two black women with babies, at a bus stop.
One says to the other: "Is your tee
|
| 3 |
06-04-2026 20:37 |
What sits at the end of a bed and take the piss?
A kidney dialysis machine.
|
| 3 |
05-04-2026 18:14 |
Ida Mae passes away, and Bubba calls the hospital. The operator asks where the a
|
| 3 |
05-04-2026 18:10 |
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
3, one to screw it i
|
| 3 |
04-04-2026 17:27 |
What do you call a Lesbian Paki?
Mingita
|
| 3 |
04-04-2026 17:26 |
What do you call a Paki that doesn't smell?
Asif
|
| 3 |
02-04-2026 19:38 |
Irish priest, English vicar and Scottish minister on a ship, ship starts to sink
|
| 3 |
31-03-2026 19:36 |
What's red and has an arm and four legs?
A pitbull in kindergarten.
|
| 3 |
31-03-2026 19:29 |
How do you make a dead baby float ?
Lemonade
Ice Cream
and a couple of scoops
|
| 3 |
30-03-2026 20:52 |
Why do women get yeast infections?
So they too, know what it's like to deal w
|
| 3 |
30-03-2026 20:50 |
Why did the young Greek boy leave home?
He was fed up with the way he was bei
|
| 3 |
27-03-2026 19:13 |
What is blue and doesn't fit any more?
A dead epileptic
|
| 3 |
26-03-2026 22:15 |
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A quadriplegic in a house fir
|
| 3 |
19-03-2026 19:47 |
How do you know when your sister's having her period?
Your Dad's cock tastes
|
| 3 |
18-03-2026 20:13 |
What brown, runny, and hides in the loft?
The diarrhoea of Anne Frank.
|
| 3 |
05-03-2026 14:19 |
What should you do if a bird craps on your car?
Never take her out again
|
| 3 |
02-03-2026 23:07 |
What is the difference between Jesus, and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the p
|
| 3 |
02-03-2026 22:55 |
Why is the bible like a penis?
You get it forced down your throat by a priest.
|
| 3 |
27-02-2026 21:08 |
The wife didn’t like my joke about a prisoner with dwarfism falling out of a win
|
| 3 |
18-02-2026 10:25 |
In today's world, it’s vital to establish a good vocabulary. If only I had known
|
| 3 |
15-02-2026 18:09 |
The chap who invented the speed boat has died.
After his funeral there will be
|
| 3 |
10-02-2026 15:02 |
The wife wants to sell our old Chinese bowl but it has a few chips in it.
She'l
|
| 3 |
04-02-2026 21:46 |
What was the man in the iron mask's favourite food?
Walled-off salad.
|
| 2 |
03-05-2026 19:41 |
At school, Ms. Jones was talking about how the Jews were persecuted in the Secon
|
| 2 |
03-05-2026 19:37 |
A woman is walking down a quiet beach when she suddenly hears someone calling to
|
| 2 |
28-04-2026 17:54 |
Little boy: Mummy, can I lick the bowl clean?
Mother: No, flush it like every
|
| 2 |
27-04-2026 17:19 |
Why don't pygmies use tampons?
They keep tripping on the string.
|
| 2 |
27-04-2026 17:18 |
What doesn't Jesus eat skittles?
Because they keep falling through his hands.
|
| 2 |
25-04-2026 18:58 |
Q: Two pakis jump off a cliff - one's wearing red, the other's wearing blue. Who
|
| 2 |
25-04-2026 18:57 |
What's the difference between Princess Diana and the Queen Mum?
They both die
|
| 2 |
24-04-2026 14:32 |
A guy walked into a bathroom and started pissing. He looked over and saw a reall
|
| 2 |
22-04-2026 19:23 |
Doctor rushes up to nervous young father-to-be.
Doc: 'Mr Smith, I'm afraid we
|
| 2 |
22-04-2026 19:23 |
What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit's finger
|
| 2 |
19-04-2026 19:27 |
Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son.
|
| 2 |
19-04-2026 19:26 |
So this jelly baby goes to the doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I think
I've g
|
| 2 |
19-04-2026 19:22 |
What did one tampon say to the other?
Nothing. They were both stuck up bitche
|
| 2 |
18-04-2026 20:33 |
These two bums are sitting in an alley eating used tampons. One bum looks at the
|
| 2 |
18-04-2026 20:29 |
What do you do once you've raped a deaf girl?
Break her fingers so she can't
|
| 2 |
15-04-2026 20:12 |
How do you tell if a black man has a job?
By the whip scars on his back
|
| 2 |
14-04-2026 17:40 |
A blind man goes into a forest... as he goes on he stumbles into a stream and th
|
| 2 |
14-04-2026 17:36 |
A woman passes out after giving birth...
She eventually comes around, and a d
|
| 2 |
13-04-2026 17:20 |
Two syphilli are hanging from a cliff. One turns to the other and says "Looks li
|
| 2 |
11-04-2026 08:51 |
What's got 4 legs and an arm?
A happy pitbull.
|
| 2 |
11-04-2026 08:45 |
2 prostitutes on a street corner
1st one "you ever been picked up by the fuzz
|
| 2 |
09-04-2026 19:46 |
Have you tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they!
|
| 2 |
09-04-2026 19:43 |
3 prostitutes in a bar, first one says
"I've had so much sex I can stick my fis
|
| 2 |
09-04-2026 19:41 |
What's the definition of confused?
Forty blind lesbians in a fish market.
|
| 2 |
08-04-2026 20:12 |
A man was sitting on the bus, and about five minutes into the journey, he felt a
|
| 2 |
28-03-2026 20:28 |
What's the similarity between a steak and kidney pie and an old woman's cunt?
|
| 2 |
26-03-2026 22:17 |
What part of a cabbage can't you eat?
The wheelchair
|
| 2 |
25-03-2026 21:02 |
What has the Herald of Free Enterprise got in common with a prostitute?
They bo
|
| 2 |
25-03-2026 21:00 |
What do you say to a Serbian prostitute?
Slobberdownmycockyoubitch!
|
| 2 |
25-03-2026 07:20 |
What do you call a cocoon?
a n-nigger
|
| 2 |
25-03-2026 07:18 |
Paedo nonce and a 6-year-old child are going into some dark woods together.
The
|
| 2 |
23-03-2026 08:43 |
What's worse than having Michael Jackson looking after your kids?
Ian Huntly
|
| 2 |
22-03-2026 14:24 |
What is the difference between a woman and a fridge?
A fridge doesn't fart wh
|
| 2 |
19-03-2026 19:48 |
Why does Michael Jackson put cheese on his penis?
Because kids'll do anything
|
| 2 |
18-03-2026 20:16 |
A man with a speech impediment is planning to buy a horse, so he goes to a local
|
| 2 |
18-03-2026 20:08 |
What's better than winning a gold medal at the Paralympics?
Having two legs
|
| 2 |
17-03-2026 15:13 |
What do you call a prostitute with white eyes?
Full.
|
| 2 |
05-03-2026 14:17 |
When you're working in a coal mine, how do you know where you left the spade?
|
| 2 |
24-02-2026 20:25 |
I bought a alcoholic ginger beer.
He wasn't happy.
|
| 2 |
19-02-2026 11:51 |
Why did Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor get a beard trimmer for Christmas?
Because h
|
| 2 |
12-02-2026 07:56 |
I'm a chameleon. Somehow wedged myself between a brick and a tree trunk.
Brown
|
| 2 |
09-02-2026 10:15 |
How do you confuse an Irishman?
Tell him even though it says sparkling on the l
|
| 2 |
03-01-2026 10:28 |
I was playing in the park with my daughter when a kid ran up to me and slapped m
|
| 2 |
12-12-2025 21:09 |
If Russia was to invade Turkey from the rear...
Would Greece help?
|
| 1 |
08-05-2026 08:18 |
A teacher is teaching a class of 10 year olds.
"Today we're going to have a far
|
| 1 |
08-05-2026 08:17 |
What does Al Italia stand for?
Arrived Late In Turin And Luggage In Athens
W
|
| 1 |
08-05-2026 08:13 |
A man goes into an antique shop in the city of london and spots this statue of a
|
| 1 |
02-05-2026 20:10 |
3 holymen on a sinking ship at sea.
The minister shouts " save the children!!".
|
| 1 |
24-04-2026 14:34 |
This beautiful blonde went to her doctor complaining about pain in all her joint
|
| 1 |
18-04-2026 20:28 |
There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chinaman, and it's the morning of their
|
| 1 |
12-04-2026 18:56 |
A young lad is in the car with his Dad. Dad nearly hits someone and yells "Basta
|
| 1 |
17-03-2026 15:14 |
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
|
| 1 |
08-03-2026 20:16 |
What do you call a queer in a wheelchair?
Roll aids.
|
| 1 |
20-02-2026 08:36 |
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away its broom
|
| 1 |
13-02-2026 12:50 |
I threw a brick in the air and pondered what would happen...
... and then it hi
|
| 0 |
04-05-2026 22:54 |
Little Johnny's late for school again, and sidles into the classroom just before
|
| -2 |
14-02-2026 11:25 |
The wife's just thrown 5 cricket balls at me.
I said one more and it's over.
|
