| 14 |
13-05-2026 21:14 |
A priest gets onto his train and finds his seat, opposite a heavily pregnant lad
|
| 13 |
16-05-2026 18:35 |
What's red, white, fluffy and sits in a tree?
Sanitary Owl
|
| 11 |
10-06-2026 17:47 |
Dad died of asbestos poisoning
It took bloody ages to cremate him
|
| 11 |
22-05-2026 23:45 |
A woman goes to the doctors complaining of stomach cramps. She gets sent for som
|
| 10 |
09-06-2026 13:53 |
Woman stumbles into the Police Station.
"Help, I've just been raped by two coun
|
| 10 |
16-12-2025 11:26 |
Our mum died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept tel
|
| 9 |
09-06-2026 13:38 |
Why do black women wear high heels?
To keep their knuckles from dragging.
|
| 9 |
03-06-2026 20:14 |
The Queen Mum dies and goes to heaven. Just past the pearly gates she meets Prin
|
| 9 |
29-05-2026 23:25 |
Sorry I haven't been in touch recently, there was a blackout on our street, we w
|
| 9 |
26-05-2026 22:47 |
What do you call an all black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers!!
|
| 9 |
23-05-2026 21:39 |
What do you call a bunch of black guys in a barn?
Antique farm equipment
|
| 9 |
22-05-2026 23:42 |
How do you know when your cabbage is boiled?
It's wheelchair rises to the top
|
| 8 |
11-06-2026 17:55 |
What type of file would you use to make a small hole a bit bigger?
A peodaphi
|
| 8 |
11-06-2026 08:41 |
What do the English do immediately after winning the FIFA World Cup?
Turn off
|
| 8 |
08-06-2026 22:28 |
This bloke asked me to take part in a charity run, so I said "piss off, no chanc
|
| 8 |
08-06-2026 07:11 |
What you call a bear with no paw?
Rupert the bastard!!
|
| 8 |
31-05-2026 23:12 |
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.
|
| 8 |
30-05-2026 21:58 |
What do you call an elephant with a spade?
Dawn French and Lenny Henry
|
| 8 |
28-05-2026 21:43 |
What's the worst thing about your mum getting murdered on your 18th birthday?
|
| 8 |
28-05-2026 14:19 |
I accidentally drank some invisible ink.
I'm now in hospital waiting to be s
|
| 8 |
23-05-2026 21:42 |
Why did the Paki swap his wife for a toilet?
Because the toilet had a smaller
|
| 8 |
19-05-2026 21:16 |
Two Muslims walk into a bar
boom boom
|
| 8 |
18-05-2026 21:54 |
A bus load of pykies goes over a cliff (whoopee!) and when they get to the pearl
|
| 7 |
17-06-2026 22:39 |
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares the shit out of the dog.
|
| 7 |
17-06-2026 22:38 |
How do you fit 4 gays on a bar stool?
Turn it upside down.
|
| 7 |
13-06-2026 22:22 |
The Englishman has his interview first, and for the last question the brewry own
|
| 7 |
13-06-2026 11:05 |
How many blacks does it take to tile a roof?
3 if you slice them thinly.
|
| 7 |
12-06-2026 17:15 |
Enlishman, Asian and a Australian walk into a bar, sit down and order a pint eac
|
| 7 |
11-06-2026 18:05 |
Jesus and Moses are fishing in a boat.
"Gee," says Moses, "I wonder if I can
|
| 7 |
11-06-2026 17:56 |
What's pink and smells of Holly?
Ian Huntley's cock!
|
| 7 |
08-06-2026 07:13 |
An Englishman, Welshman and West Indian are in hospital, waiting for their wives
|
| 7 |
07-06-2026 11:54 |
What do you call the flesh surrounding a vagina?
A woman
|
| 7 |
03-06-2026 21:51 |
What's the difference between a yogurt and The USA ?
If you leave the yogurt
|
| 7 |
03-06-2026 20:18 |
In Ireland's worst air disaster a two-seater Cessna aeroplane crashed into a gra
|
| 7 |
28-05-2026 21:42 |
A man phones into work one monday morning:
man: i can't come in today, i'm sick
|
| 7 |
27-05-2026 20:50 |
Did you hear about the reverse exorcism?
The devil couldn't get the priest ou
|
| 7 |
24-05-2026 21:40 |
Why did the Romans build straight roads?
So Indians couldn't build corner sho
|
| 7 |
21-05-2026 17:07 |
What's the advantage of getting a blowjob off an Ethiopian?
They always swall
|
| 7 |
19-05-2026 21:14 |
How did the farmer find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
|
| 7 |
14-05-2026 20:50 |
What turns a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
|
| 7 |
14-05-2026 20:49 |
What's red and hangs off the back of the train?
Miscarriage.
|
| 7 |
10-05-2026 13:28 |
A rich woman has been lonely all her life, so puts an ad in a Lonely Hearts colu
|
| 7 |
10-05-2026 13:27 |
What's yellow and lives off dead beetles?
Yoko Ono
|
| 7 |
15-03-2026 20:54 |
What's 10 foot long and stinks of piss??
Conga line in an old peoples home
|
| 6 |
15-06-2026 15:19 |
It's such an unfair world. Gary glitter rides a little girl, and he gets 6 years
|
| 6 |
15-06-2026 14:44 |
This was after the pakistani earthquakes...
Whats the odd one out, a crab, a
|
| 6 |
11-06-2026 18:00 |
What did Diana and the queen mum have in common???
They both died pushing 105
|
| 6 |
11-06-2026 17:51 |
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
At 69 she gets a frog in her throat.
|
| 6 |
11-06-2026 17:50 |
Apartheid Airways...Seth Effrican Airways 747 is about to plunge to earth unless
|
| 6 |
10-06-2026 18:19 |
Mickey Mouse is filing for divorce from Minnie.
The judge asks: "So Mr. Mouse
|
| 6 |
10-06-2026 17:50 |
What's the definition of suspicion?
Hotdogs with veins
|
| 6 |
10-06-2026 17:46 |
Dad died of asbestos poisoning
It took bloody ages to cremate him
|
| 6 |
09-06-2026 13:58 |
What's the diff between a black man and a bike?
A bike doesn't sing "Old Man
|
| 6 |
07-06-2026 11:59 |
What's pink and hard?
A pig with a flick knife.
|
| 6 |
05-06-2026 22:15 |
What do you get if you cross an octopus with an Afro-American?
No idea, but I
|
| 6 |
31-05-2026 23:09 |
A Man walks into a chemists, and says "I need some birth control for my 14yr old
|
| 6 |
29-05-2026 23:21 |
Why do niggers smell?
So you can tell where they are in the dark.
|
| 6 |
21-05-2026 17:06 |
What does the average Pakistani weigh?
Sweets
|
| 6 |
20-05-2026 19:58 |
What do you call an Ethiopian in a leather jacket?
A gear stick
|
| 6 |
20-05-2026 19:54 |
What's the smartest thing to have come out of a woman's mouth?
Einstein's coc
|
| 6 |
19-05-2026 21:19 |
What does Michael Jackson and a good malt whisky have in common?
The both com
|
| 6 |
18-05-2026 01:04 |
Did you hear about the Gay magician?
He vanished with a poof.
|
| 6 |
16-05-2026 18:37 |
What do you call 40 women in a field full of vibrators?
Squatters.
|
| 6 |
01-05-2026 14:12 |
The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to think of a w
|
| 6 |
29-04-2026 22:02 |
A young, heavily pregnant Irish lass is involved in a car crash and is put into
|
| 6 |
11-02-2026 16:18 |
I went for a job with the RSPB. The interviewer asked me what could I tell them
|
| 6 |
07-02-2026 21:41 |
I bought a jack in the box for 50p. But it doesn't work.
Why am I not surprised
|
| 6 |
19-12-2025 15:29 |
My wife asks me, "What do you like most about me, my pretty face, or my sexy bod
|
| 6 |
19-12-2025 15:27 |
Teacher asks her class, "If I said, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?"
One
|
| 5 |
17-06-2026 22:36 |
Bloke walks into a bar, and orders 12 shots of whiskey.
To the bartender's surp
|
| 5 |
16-06-2026 21:35 |
Two Paki's move to england. They agree to meet up after a few years and see who
|
| 5 |
16-06-2026 21:32 |
The latest African Nations Cup score.
Tunisia 8, Ethiopia didn't.
|
| 5 |
15-06-2026 15:14 |
Q) How do you get 50 ethiopians into a phonebox?
A) Throw in a can of beans.
|
| 5 |
15-06-2026 15:10 |
Little boy with no arms is sat at home when he hears an ice cream van go past. H
|
| 5 |
15-06-2026 14:43 |
After the Tsumani, thousands of Pakistanis died or were left injured and homeles
|
| 5 |
13-06-2026 11:01 |
Upon hearing "The black eyed peas" song, "my lumps/ humps/ bumps or whatever"
|
| 5 |
11-06-2026 18:02 |
It was a man's anniversary, so he decides to sneak out of the factory early and
|
| 5 |
10-06-2026 17:59 |
Man goes into a whorehouse, "But I don't have much money," he expalins to the Ma
|
| 5 |
09-06-2026 13:50 |
I've just bought my Irish cousin some waterskis for Christmas
The daft bugger
|
| 5 |
07-06-2026 12:09 |
They're on a long road trip and can't find anywhere to stay the night. Finally t
|
| 5 |
06-06-2026 14:50 |
I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win.
No pun in ten did.
|
| 5 |
05-06-2026 22:14 |
What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
Single.
|
| 5 |
05-06-2026 21:49 |
Why was it weird that Michael Jackson hung the young child off the balcony?
H
|
| 5 |
05-06-2026 21:42 |
Humanitarian aid sending over 300 bottles of Fairy Liquid due to people washing
|
| 5 |
04-06-2026 21:57 |
A bloke starts a new job in a sex shop. His boss has to go on an errand, so leav
|
| 5 |
04-06-2026 21:56 |
Hitler's last words:
I would have got away with it too, if it weren't for tho
|
| 5 |
03-06-2026 20:12 |
The manager of a shop is training a new assistant in advanced sales techniques o
|
| 5 |
03-06-2026 20:08 |
What's hot, black and sits at the top of the stairs smoking?
Stephen Hawkins
|
| 5 |
03-06-2026 20:04 |
Jokes about white sugar are rare.
But jokes about brown sugar? Demerara.
|
| 5 |
02-06-2026 21:25 |
What is the similarity between Ayrton Senna and Freddie Mecury?
They both die
|
| 5 |
31-05-2026 23:14 |
What's the difference between a washing machine and a 15-year-old girl?
The w
|
| 5 |
31-05-2026 23:11 |
Why can't you have sex with pensioners?
Have you ever tried taking apart a ch
|
| 5 |
31-05-2026 23:07 |
Man goes to the doctors. Doctor says, "I'm afraid I have two lots of bad news fo
|
| 5 |
31-05-2026 23:05 |
A man’s working in a bar one night when a black guy comes in with a parrot on hi
|
| 5 |
29-05-2026 23:28 |
What's the similarity between standing on the edge of a cliff and having an old
|
| 5 |
28-05-2026 21:32 |
Joe is being plagued by terrible headaches. One day, after years of suffering, h
|
| 5 |
28-05-2026 21:30 |
A woman went on a fishing trip with 7 men.
She came back with a big red snapp
|
| 5 |
27-05-2026 21:06 |
I took a Viagra the other day, and it got stuck in my throat. I've been walking
|
| 5 |
26-05-2026 22:44 |
How is knocking up your girlfriend like locking your keys out of your car?
Th
|
| 5 |
26-05-2026 22:42 |
It was early May and Timmy had been working with the blind people again, today's
|
| 5 |
26-05-2026 22:40 |
What's green and yellow and eats nuts?
Gonorrhoea.
|
| 5 |
25-05-2026 19:06 |
What do you call a dog that smells of fish?
Jordan.
|
| 5 |
23-05-2026 21:45 |
What do you call a leper in a bath?
Porridge.
|
| 5 |
14-05-2026 20:48 |
Two piles of sick are walking down the road, when one starts crying. The other a
|
| 5 |
13-05-2026 21:13 |
Paedophiles are fucking immature assholes...
|
| 5 |
12-05-2026 08:42 |
A black man and an Asian man fall off the roof of a tall building. Who hits the
|
| 5 |
09-05-2026 15:27 |
what do you call a dead man utd fan?
A good start
What do you call two dea
|
| 5 |
09-05-2026 15:25 |
Pete the sewer worker has been in his job for twenty years and the town mayor de
|
| 5 |
09-05-2026 15:24 |
Three tampons are coming down the street towards you, a super plus, a regular, a
|
| 5 |
28-04-2026 17:52 |
A driver is travelling through a forest when he comes across a man tied to a tre
|
| 5 |
27-04-2026 17:21 |
What is the difference between Neighbours and Prince Charles?
Neighbours had
|
| 5 |
24-04-2026 14:33 |
Little Johnny was curious as to the mysteries of female anatomy, so he decided o
|
| 5 |
21-04-2026 21:16 |
A young lady is on a cliff edge about to jump to her death, she is approached by
|
| 5 |
15-04-2026 20:08 |
Jesus walks into a hotel, drops four nails on the counter, and says "Put me up f
|
| 5 |
15-04-2026 06:59 |
A woman phones up the police and states that she's been "graped"
The police r
|
| 5 |
12-04-2026 19:02 |
What do vegetarian worms eat?
Linda McCartney.
|
| 5 |
06-04-2026 20:35 |
Two Japanese sewage workers have been working the same stretch of sewer for twen
|
| 5 |
03-04-2026 20:55 |
What do you call a Somalian standing on a snow topped mountain?
A 99.
|
| 5 |
02-04-2026 19:35 |
What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?
Having a Miscarriage
|
| 5 |
01-04-2026 19:18 |
What do you call a dog with wings?
Linda McCartney
|
| 5 |
01-04-2026 19:16 |
How do you stop black kids from jumping on their beds?
Put Velcro on the ceil
|
| 5 |
12-03-2026 22:45 |
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being disabled in the
|
| 5 |
09-03-2026 21:57 |
Two men are out walking, they decide to go off in different directions, walking
|
| 5 |
09-03-2026 09:10 |
What's the difference between a family reunion and a 69er?
In a 69er you only
|
| 5 |
07-03-2026 08:43 |
Why doesn't Michael Barrymore have any ashtrays?
Because he puts his fags out
|
| 5 |
28-02-2026 14:52 |
What is the national bird of Iran?
A US drone
|
| 5 |
20-02-2026 08:24 |
I just watched an Australian cooking show and the audience cheered when the chef
|
| 5 |
18-02-2026 10:32 |
I read a book about an immortal dog. It was impossible to put down.
|
| 5 |
03-02-2026 13:09 |
The wife's just thrown 5 cricket balls at me.
I said one more and it's over.
|
| 5 |
12-12-2025 15:10 |
Brother was banging his sister.
He says, "You fuck like Mum,"
She laughs.
He
|
| 4 |
16-06-2026 21:33 |
How do you make a hormone?
Stick a rusty chainsaw up her cunt.
|
| 4 |
16-06-2026 21:29 |
What do you do if you see a paki drowning?
Throw him his wife and kids.
|
| 4 |
16-06-2026 21:28 |
So, it's Jesus' last night before he's off to be crucified, and after supper the
|
| 4 |
15-06-2026 15:12 |
There are four blokes in a prison cell together: a zoophile, a sadist, a necroph
|
| 4 |
15-06-2026 15:09 |
A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious".
Roland the class swot
|
| 4 |
13-06-2026 22:51 |
And what do you chuck an Ethiopian that's drowning?
A polo mint.
|
| 4 |
13-06-2026 22:49 |
What do call a hundred Ethiopians in a plastic bag?
Twiglets
|
| 4 |
12-06-2026 17:16 |
There is a woman at work, when a man walks up to her and says her hair smells ni
|
| 4 |
12-06-2026 17:09 |
What do you throw a drowning Ethiopian?
His family.
|
| 4 |
10-06-2026 17:56 |
A drug runner was running his operation out of a crematorium.
Getting a tip t
|
| 4 |
10-06-2026 17:53 |
There are 3 people on a private jet. Pope John Paul II, David Beckham, and a 7 y
|
| 4 |
09-06-2026 22:19 |
Let's just take a moment to salute the genius who invented the vibrator.
"If
|
| 4 |
09-06-2026 13:55 |
2 Dyslexics are on a skiing trip, when they begin to argue over whether they zig
|
| 4 |
09-06-2026 13:48 |
A blind guy goes into a café and, when he's been seated, the waiter offers to re
|
| 4 |
09-06-2026 13:43 |
What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
"They're right, we D
|
| 4 |
08-06-2026 22:30 |
What do you have when an epileptic has a seizure in a cabbage patch?
Seizure
|
| 4 |
08-06-2026 22:24 |
A man goes to the doctor and says "I've got a pain in my rectum"
So the doctor
|
| 4 |
05-06-2026 22:12 |
St. Peter's standing at the Pearly Gates, and he spies a little brown face comin
|
| 4 |
05-06-2026 21:43 |
Why is spunk white and piss yellow? So an Irishman knows whether he is coming or
|
| 4 |
04-06-2026 21:51 |
A teacher at school is trying to emphasise to her pupils the point of having a g
|
| 4 |
04-06-2026 21:48 |
A polar bear decides to go to the beach as it is a nice sunny day,
after drivin
|
| 4 |
04-06-2026 21:45 |
A Small weedy guy get arrested and sent to jail for emzzling forty seven million
|
| 4 |
04-06-2026 21:44 |
A black couple go out to a fancy French restaurant. They're waiting for a table
|
| 4 |
03-06-2026 20:17 |
A man is walking along a beach, sad and depressed, when he hears a booming voice
|
| 4 |
02-06-2026 21:23 |
A Sloth is ambling through the jungle. Suddenly he's set upon by a gang of snail
|
| 4 |
01-06-2026 21:15 |
Two little boys went to knock for their friend Jim.
"Hello, is Jim coming out t
|
| 4 |
31-05-2026 23:08 |
What do 54,000 abused women every year have in common?
They don't fucking lis
|
| 4 |
30-05-2026 21:57 |
A man is sitting in a quiet restaurant with his date, when suddenly he hears a v
|
| 4 |
29-05-2026 23:33 |
Why is Guinness a racist pint?
Because the white always rises to the top.
|
| 4 |
29-05-2026 23:24 |
Three babies die and get sent to the pearly gates.
St Pete looks at the first
|
| 4 |
29-05-2026 23:22 |
What do you call a barman who never stops complaining?
Australian
|
| 4 |
28-05-2026 21:40 |
What do you call a Paki in a bulletproof vest?
Pting
|
| 4 |
26-05-2026 22:46 |
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with
|
| 4 |
22-05-2026 23:52 |
Did you hear about the Amish flu?
First you get a little horse...
Then you g
|
| 4 |
21-05-2026 17:09 |
Three gay men sitting in a crematorium, each of them holding urns containing the
|
| 4 |
19-05-2026 21:13 |
A man walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep. His wife looks horrified.
"See?
|
| 4 |
18-05-2026 21:58 |
Incest: A game the whole family can play!
Necrophilia: Let's crack open a col
|
| 4 |
18-05-2026 21:57 |
Why do elephants have big ears?
Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom
|
| 4 |
18-05-2026 01:07 |
A black guy is walking down a beach one day, and stubs his toe on something in t
|
| 4 |
12-05-2026 08:44 |
Man goes to the ticket office at the railway station
Man:"can I have a segond g
|
| 4 |
08-05-2026 08:18 |
A teacher is teaching a class of 10 year olds.
"Today we're going to have a far
|
| 4 |
02-05-2026 20:11 |
A Policeman is driving down the street when he sees a man pouring petrol over a
|
| 4 |
01-05-2026 14:14 |
I used to be into necrophilia until some rotten cunt split on me
|
| 4 |
01-05-2026 14:14 |
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who en
|
| 4 |
29-04-2026 22:04 |
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck it off
|
| 4 |
28-04-2026 10:48 |
I was just in the queue at the supermarket when Diana Ross tried to push in.
|
| 4 |
20-04-2026 21:35 |
My parents went to New York on September the 11th and all I got back was a blood
|
| 4 |
20-04-2026 21:32 |
Three necrophiliacs are comparing their likes. The first says "I like to fuck th
|
| 4 |
20-04-2026 21:30 |
How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
Call her and tell he
|
| 4 |
17-04-2026 23:27 |
So this middle aged woman goes into hospital to have her vagina tightened. The y
|
| 4 |
15-04-2026 20:06 |
A father is waiting outside the maternity ward when the nurse comes out and ushe
|
| 4 |
13-04-2026 17:24 |
What do you do if you go downstairs at night and see your TV floating in midair?
|
| 4 |
12-04-2026 19:00 |
A young mother is pregnant with triplets when she is shot by a gunman. A few yea
|
| 4 |
07-04-2026 19:07 |
A man staggers into hospital, says to the doctor "Arrrgh! I've been raped by an
|
| 4 |
05-04-2026 18:06 |
What's the difference between a piece of toast and French men?
You can make s
|
| 4 |
04-04-2026 17:28 |
Did you hear about the Paki that fucked a Princess?
He burnt his dick on the
|
| 4 |
03-04-2026 20:54 |
Jack and Jill went up the hill
so Jack could lick Jill's fanny.
All he got was
|
| 4 |
28-03-2026 20:29 |
What have anabolic steroids and the Ku Klux Klan got in common?
They both mak
|
| 4 |
27-03-2026 16:20 |
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
|
| 4 |
22-03-2026 14:25 |
How can you tell its bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
The big hand reaches
|
| 4 |
14-03-2026 19:54 |
What is the smallest pub in the world?
The Thalidomide Arms
|
| 4 |
13-03-2026 19:22 |
How do you make a woman scream twice?
Fuck her up the arse, then wipe your co
|
| 4 |
11-03-2026 18:17 |
How do you get an Iranian girl pregnant?
Cum on her shoes and let the flies d
|
| 4 |
10-03-2026 18:43 |
What is the similarity between a woman and a KFC mega bucket?
You start on th
|
| 4 |
07-03-2026 08:43 |
What's blue and doesn't fit?
A dead epileptic!
|
| 4 |
03-03-2026 20:33 |
2 condoms walk past a gay bar ...
...one says to the other "want to go in there
|
| 4 |
22-02-2026 16:53 |
We went to the local Bulimic Awareness Realization Foundation meeting yesterday.
|
| 4 |
16-02-2026 21:37 |
Every time the leper visits his favourite whore, he leaves a tip.
|
| 4 |
15-02-2026 18:09 |
The chap who invented the speed boat has died.
After his funeral there will be
|
| 4 |
10-02-2026 15:04 |
How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Heh heh heh, 'sc
|
| 4 |
31-01-2026 19:10 |
Just buried my friend who was hit by a tennis ball. The service was great
|
| 4 |
30-01-2026 10:27 |
My mate said he didn’t understand what cloning was. I said that makes two of us.
|
| 3 |
16-06-2026 21:30 |
Q: How do you get 500 babies in a telephone box?
A: A liquidizer.
Q: How do
|
| 3 |
15-06-2026 15:13 |
Bob has a date with a hot girl and is boasting to his friend about it. His frien
|
| 3 |
13-06-2026 22:50 |
What do call a thousand Ethiopians in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops
|
| 3 |
11-06-2026 18:06 |
The CEO of Tyson Chicken goes to the Pope. "Your Holiness," he says, "Tyson Chic
|
| 3 |
11-06-2026 17:53 |
What's worse than a dead cat on your piano?
A diseased pussy on your organ.
|
| 3 |
09-06-2026 13:58 |
The shoe salesman selling shoes to a businessman who wants nothing but the best
|
| 3 |
09-06-2026 13:49 |
What's hard, six inches long and fun to play with in the toilet?
A Nintendo G
|
| 3 |
09-06-2026 13:45 |
When I was an Altar Boy we had a newly ordained Priest. He was quite nervous abo
|
| 3 |
08-06-2026 22:29 |
How many Jews does it take to fit a shower?
We don't know yet, they kept goin
|
| 3 |
07-06-2026 11:54 |
Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.
Q: Why did the oth
|
| 3 |
05-06-2026 22:20 |
A drunk walks up to an attractive woman in a bar and whispers in her ear, "I wan
|
| 3 |
05-06-2026 21:51 |
Did you hear that tampax is bringing out a new tampon? They have replaced the st
|
| 3 |
05-06-2026 21:48 |
Paul McCartney bought his wife a new artificial leg this Christmas
but it wasn'
|
| 3 |
05-06-2026 21:47 |
Why is the bible like a penis?
You get it forced down your throat by a priest
|
| 3 |
04-06-2026 21:55 |
Two condoms walking down the street when they happen upon a gay bar. One says to
|
| 3 |
03-06-2026 20:06 |
Dodi and Di couldn't figure out where to spend the night. Dodi wanted to stay at
|
| 3 |
02-06-2026 21:21 |
A boy goes into the bathroom and starts pleasuring himself, forgetting that he h
|
| 3 |
02-06-2026 21:18 |
A blind guy walks past a fish market. Says "shit, girls, what am I doing in Hull
|
| 3 |
02-06-2026 21:17 |
A man goes into a brothel and says he's looking for something a bit unusual, but
|
| 3 |
01-06-2026 21:31 |
Mummy, Mummy! I don't like tomato soup!
Shut up son, we only have it once a m
|
| 3 |
01-06-2026 21:28 |
Why will the secret police never be invited to the police pool tournament again?
|
| 3 |
01-06-2026 21:24 |
Why do German men grow moustaches?
So they can look like their mothers.
|
| 3 |
01-06-2026 21:19 |
It is just another working day at the brothel. The punters are coming, the cash
|
| 3 |
31-05-2026 23:07 |
What's yellow and lives off dead beetles?
Yoko Ono
|
| 3 |
31-05-2026 22:59 |
Why do women have legs?
Have you seen the mess a snail makes!
|
| 3 |
30-05-2026 21:54 |
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons.
Ea
|
| 3 |
27-05-2026 21:09 |
I stole a load of Viagra from a chemist. Does that make me a hardened criminal!
|
| 3 |
27-05-2026 21:00 |
I got a new batch of Viagra eye drops. Don't give ya a stiffy, but they make ya
|
| 3 |
25-05-2026 19:07 |
Why are Pakistan so crap at football?
Because every time they get a corner, t
|
| 3 |
25-05-2026 19:02 |
How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Let the bitch cook in
|
| 3 |
24-05-2026 21:33 |
Man walks into a sex shop, he says to the guy behind the counter wheezing due to
|
| 3 |
24-05-2026 21:21 |
How many Jews does it take to fix an oven?
I don't know, but the Germans kill
|
| 3 |
23-05-2026 21:40 |
What do you call a man with his arm up a horse's bum?
An Amish mechanic.
|
| 3 |
22-05-2026 23:43 |
Why is going down on a woman like being in the KGB?
One slip of the tongue &
|
| 3 |
21-05-2026 17:11 |
What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream when
|
| 3 |
18-05-2026 21:59 |
How do you make a cat go woof?
Pour petrol on it and throw a match.
|
| 3 |
18-05-2026 01:04 |
Police are in trouble again, this time for shooting 4 Muslim thalidomide suffers
|
| 3 |
16-05-2026 18:34 |
A man and his wife are woken at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud knocking on t
|
| 3 |
12-05-2026 08:45 |
A man walks into a lift, which already has a very attractive women in it.
As
|
| 3 |
10-05-2026 13:25 |
I was in a pub and told the following joke:
What do you do if an epileptic ha
|
| 3 |
06-05-2026 12:19 |
A man takes his daughter with him to the barber shop. She's happily eating a sna
|
| 3 |
06-05-2026 12:17 |
How do you make a bear cross?
Nail it to a plank of wood
|
| 3 |
06-05-2026 12:15 |
Ralph turns over to Mable and says
"If I'd known it was your first time I wou
|
| 3 |
04-05-2026 23:01 |
My black neighbour came round last week and said...
Mr. MadPeeps, your living
|
| 3 |
04-05-2026 22:50 |
Little girl to her Mum
"Mummy, Jimmy next doors' willy is like a peanut"
"Beca
|
| 3 |
03-05-2026 19:35 |
This blokes walking back from the pub. On his way home he goes through a park an
|
| 3 |
02-05-2026 20:16 |
There once was a vampire called Mabel
Who's periods were really quite stable
E
|
| 3 |
01-05-2026 14:11 |
A woman is woken up in the middle of the night by her husband jamming head-ache
|
| 3 |
29-04-2026 22:06 |
A married couple was invited to a Halloween party. That night, as they were
|
| 3 |
28-04-2026 17:56 |
Four Al-Qaeda thalidomide victims were arrested at Manchester airport yesterday.
|
| 3 |
27-04-2026 01:21 |
Princess Diana be doing if she was alive today?
Scratching on the lid of her
|
| 3 |
27-04-2026 01:19 |
Why are women like washing machines?
They both leak when they're fucked.
|
| 3 |
25-04-2026 18:58 |
Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest holiday destination?
He's going t
|
| 3 |
23-04-2026 18:05 |
A young courting couple are out for a romantic walk along a country lane. They w
|
| 3 |
23-04-2026 18:04 |
Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog on the lawn, licking his ball
|
| 3 |
23-04-2026 18:03 |
A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several
|
| 3 |
22-04-2026 19:26 |
A man and his wife are at the zoo.
She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink
|
| 3 |
21-04-2026 21:19 |
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
Pizza's don't scream when yo
|
| 3 |
21-04-2026 21:09 |
A man and his wife are on their honeymoon.
On the first night the man comes d
|
| 3 |
17-04-2026 23:30 |
At a four-year-old’s birthday party, the grown-ups were in the kitchen drinking
|
| 3 |
17-04-2026 23:22 |
Definition of gross: Sticking 12 oysters in an old woman's fanny and sucking out
|
| 3 |
16-04-2026 17:54 |
A man walks into a pub... sees a big jar filled with money behind the bar. He as
|
| 3 |
16-04-2026 17:51 |
What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?
Popeye kicked the shit out of h
|
| 3 |
16-04-2026 17:50 |
I was going to post a gag about flagellation, necrophilia and bestiality, but it
|
| 3 |
13-04-2026 17:22 |
A guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend in a fit of rage trashing all
|
| 3 |
11-04-2026 08:52 |
How do you make a dog drink?
Stick it in a blender
|
| 3 |
08-04-2026 20:11 |
What's got two legs and bleeds ?
Half a dog.
|
| 3 |
08-04-2026 20:10 |
What do you do if a kitten spits at you?
Turn the grill down a little.
|
| 3 |
07-04-2026 19:11 |
A woman gives birth to the smartest baby ever.
The baby is able to talk. The ne
|
| 3 |
06-04-2026 20:38 |
Two black women with babies, at a bus stop.
One says to the other: "Is your tee
|
| 3 |
06-04-2026 20:37 |
What sits at the end of a bed and take the piss?
A kidney dialysis machine.
|
| 3 |
05-04-2026 18:14 |
Ida Mae passes away, and Bubba calls the hospital. The operator asks where the a
|
| 3 |
05-04-2026 18:10 |
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
3, one to screw it i
|
| 3 |
04-04-2026 17:27 |
What do you call a Lesbian Paki?
Mingita
|
| 3 |
04-04-2026 17:26 |
What do you call a Paki that doesn't smell?
Asif
|
| 3 |
02-04-2026 19:38 |
Irish priest, English vicar and Scottish minister on a ship, ship starts to sink
|
| 3 |
31-03-2026 19:36 |
What's red and has an arm and four legs?
A pitbull in kindergarten.
|
| 3 |
31-03-2026 19:29 |
How do you make a dead baby float ?
Lemonade
Ice Cream
and a couple of scoops
|
| 3 |
30-03-2026 20:52 |
Why do women get yeast infections?
So they too, know what it's like to deal w
|
| 3 |
30-03-2026 20:50 |
Why did the young Greek boy leave home?
He was fed up with the way he was bei
|
| 3 |
27-03-2026 19:13 |
What is blue and doesn't fit any more?
A dead epileptic
|
| 3 |
26-03-2026 22:15 |
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A quadriplegic in a house fir
|
| 3 |
19-03-2026 19:47 |
How do you know when your sister's having her period?
Your Dad's cock tastes
|
| 3 |
18-03-2026 20:13 |
What brown, runny, and hides in the loft?
The diarrhoea of Anne Frank.
|
| 3 |
05-03-2026 14:19 |
What should you do if a bird craps on your car?
Never take her out again
|
| 3 |
02-03-2026 23:07 |
What is the difference between Jesus, and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the p
|
| 3 |
02-03-2026 22:55 |
Why is the bible like a penis?
You get it forced down your throat by a priest.
|
| 3 |
27-02-2026 21:08 |
The wife didn’t like my joke about a prisoner with dwarfism falling out of a win
|
| 3 |
18-02-2026 10:25 |
In today's world, it’s vital to establish a good vocabulary. If only I had known
|
| 3 |
10-02-2026 15:02 |
The wife wants to sell our old Chinese bowl but it has a few chips in it.
She'l
|
| 3 |
04-02-2026 21:46 |
What was the man in the iron mask's favourite food?
Walled-off salad.
|
| 2 |
18-06-2026 16:03 |
British serial killers are offered a last drink before jail.
Guard: "What wou
|
| 2 |
18-06-2026 15:54 |
Three vampires walk into a bar.
One orders a blood on the rocks. Another orde
|
| 2 |
13-06-2026 22:48 |
What do call 4 Ethiopians in a sleeping bag?
Kit Kat
|
| 2 |
13-06-2026 22:46 |
What do call 2 Ethiopians in a sleeping bag?
Twix
|
| 2 |
12-06-2026 17:08 |
A father is walking his 6 year old son from school. The boy spots a used condom
|
| 2 |
12-06-2026 17:06 |
What do you find in a leprechaun condom?
Fairy liquid
|
| 2 |
12-06-2026 17:01 |
My mum went to one of those American school shootings and all she brought back w
|
| 2 |
12-06-2026 16:58 |
There's this drunk bloke looking for a hooker he can get a fuck off of. He's in
|
| 2 |
09-06-2026 14:03 |
How do you circumcise a whale?
Send down four skin divers
|
| 2 |
09-06-2026 14:01 |
A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down next to her, a
|
| 2 |
09-06-2026 13:51 |
A rabbit walks into a bar, goes up to the barman and says, "Got any cabbage leav
|
| 2 |
05-06-2026 21:46 |
An American, a scot and a Greek were walking down the road and get killed by lig
|
| 2 |
04-06-2026 21:52 |
Who's the fastest reader in the world?
Norman Tebbit - 5 storeys in 3 seconds
|
| 2 |
02-06-2026 21:27 |
Why are there no more cases of hemorrhoids in France?
Because they're all per
|
| 2 |
01-06-2026 21:33 |
George Bush dies and is sent to hell.
Satan explains to George Bush that hell
|
| 2 |
30-05-2026 22:00 |
Why is it best to use a mouse with your PC?
So you can wank with the other ha
|
| 2 |
30-05-2026 21:55 |
A black and a Jew race off a cliff. Who wins?
Society.
|
| 2 |
29-05-2026 13:53 |
I never order shrimp-fried rice.
Call me old-fashioned, but I like my food to
|
| 2 |
25-05-2026 19:13 |
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The Wheelchair.
|
| 2 |
25-05-2026 19:04 |
A man finally gets his girlfriend into bed and they start trying to have sex. Af
|
| 2 |
24-05-2026 21:35 |
What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?
One makes your day
|
| 2 |
23-05-2026 21:45 |
What do you call a leper in a box?
A jigsaw puzzle.
|
| 2 |
13-05-2026 21:12 |
What's the smallest pub in the world?
The Thalidomide Arms.
|
| 2 |
08-05-2026 08:13 |
A man goes into an antique shop in the city of london and spots this statue of a
|
| 2 |
03-05-2026 19:41 |
At school, Ms. Jones was talking about how the Jews were persecuted in the Secon
|
| 2 |
03-05-2026 19:37 |
A woman is walking down a quiet beach when she suddenly hears someone calling to
|
| 2 |
02-05-2026 20:10 |
3 holymen on a sinking ship at sea.
The minister shouts " save the children!!".
|
| 2 |
28-04-2026 17:54 |
Little boy: Mummy, can I lick the bowl clean?
Mother: No, flush it like every
|
| 2 |
27-04-2026 17:19 |
Why don't pygmies use tampons?
They keep tripping on the string.
|
| 2 |
27-04-2026 17:18 |
What doesn't Jesus eat skittles?
Because they keep falling through his hands.
|
| 2 |
25-04-2026 18:58 |
Q: Two pakis jump off a cliff - one's wearing red, the other's wearing blue. Who
|
| 2 |
25-04-2026 18:57 |
What's the difference between Princess Diana and the Queen Mum?
They both die
|
| 2 |
24-04-2026 14:32 |
A guy walked into a bathroom and started pissing. He looked over and saw a reall
|
| 2 |
22-04-2026 19:23 |
Doctor rushes up to nervous young father-to-be.
Doc: 'Mr Smith, I'm afraid we
|
| 2 |
22-04-2026 19:23 |
What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit's finger
|
| 2 |
19-04-2026 19:27 |
Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son.
|
| 2 |
19-04-2026 19:26 |
So this jelly baby goes to the doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I think
I've g
|
| 2 |
19-04-2026 19:22 |
What did one tampon say to the other?
Nothing. They were both stuck up bitche
|
| 2 |
18-04-2026 20:33 |
These two bums are sitting in an alley eating used tampons. One bum looks at the
|
| 2 |
18-04-2026 20:29 |
What do you do once you've raped a deaf girl?
Break her fingers so she can't
|
| 2 |
15-04-2026 20:12 |
How do you tell if a black man has a job?
By the whip scars on his back
|
| 2 |
14-04-2026 17:40 |
A blind man goes into a forest... as he goes on he stumbles into a stream and th
|
| 2 |
14-04-2026 17:36 |
A woman passes out after giving birth...
She eventually comes around, and a d
|
| 2 |
13-04-2026 17:20 |
Two syphilli are hanging from a cliff. One turns to the other and says "Looks li
|
| 2 |
11-04-2026 08:51 |
What's got 4 legs and an arm?
A happy pitbull.
|
| 2 |
11-04-2026 08:45 |
2 prostitutes on a street corner
1st one "you ever been picked up by the fuzz
|
| 2 |
09-04-2026 19:46 |
Have you tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they!
|
| 2 |
09-04-2026 19:43 |
3 prostitutes in a bar, first one says
"I've had so much sex I can stick my fis
|
| 2 |
09-04-2026 19:41 |
What's the definition of confused?
Forty blind lesbians in a fish market.
|
| 2 |
08-04-2026 20:12 |
A man was sitting on the bus, and about five minutes into the journey, he felt a
|
| 2 |
28-03-2026 20:28 |
What's the similarity between a steak and kidney pie and an old woman's cunt?
|
| 2 |
26-03-2026 22:17 |
What part of a cabbage can't you eat?
The wheelchair
|
| 2 |
25-03-2026 21:02 |
What has the Herald of Free Enterprise got in common with a prostitute?
They bo
|
| 2 |
25-03-2026 21:00 |
What do you say to a Serbian prostitute?
Slobberdownmycockyoubitch!
|
| 2 |
25-03-2026 07:20 |
What do you call a cocoon?
a n-nigger
|
| 2 |
25-03-2026 07:18 |
Paedo nonce and a 6-year-old child are going into some dark woods together.
The
|
| 2 |
23-03-2026 08:43 |
What's worse than having Michael Jackson looking after your kids?
Ian Huntly
|
| 2 |
22-03-2026 14:24 |
What is the difference between a woman and a fridge?
A fridge doesn't fart wh
|
| 2 |
19-03-2026 19:48 |
Why does Michael Jackson put cheese on his penis?
Because kids'll do anything
|
| 2 |
18-03-2026 20:16 |
A man with a speech impediment is planning to buy a horse, so he goes to a local
|
| 2 |
18-03-2026 20:08 |
What's better than winning a gold medal at the Paralympics?
Having two legs
|
| 2 |
17-03-2026 15:13 |
What do you call a prostitute with white eyes?
Full.
|
| 2 |
05-03-2026 14:17 |
When you're working in a coal mine, how do you know where you left the spade?
|
| 2 |
24-02-2026 20:25 |
I bought a alcoholic ginger beer.
He wasn't happy.
|
| 2 |
19-02-2026 11:51 |
Why did Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor get a beard trimmer for Christmas?
Because h
|
| 2 |
12-02-2026 07:56 |
I'm a chameleon. Somehow wedged myself between a brick and a tree trunk.
Brown
|
| 2 |
09-02-2026 10:15 |
How do you confuse an Irishman?
Tell him even though it says sparkling on the l
|
| 2 |
03-01-2026 10:28 |
I was playing in the park with my daughter when a kid ran up to me and slapped m
|
| 2 |
12-12-2025 21:09 |
If Russia was to invade Turkey from the rear...
Would Greece help?
|
| 1 |
18-06-2026 16:04 |
Little boy goes up to his mum.
"Mummy, is God a boy or a girl?"
"Well, son," r
|
| 1 |
18-06-2026 15:59 |
Q: Why did the condom fly across the room?
A: Because it was pissed off.
|
| 1 |
18-06-2026 15:58 |
Q: What do you call a three-foot tall black gentleman?
A: A Yardie
|
| 1 |
18-06-2026 15:52 |
How is knocking up your girlfriend like locking your keys out of your car?
Th
|
| 1 |
18-06-2026 15:50 |
What's the difference between an onion and a dead hooker?
I cry when I cut up
|
| 1 |
13-06-2026 11:11 |
A young priest, a bishop and a cardinal were in a train station trying to get to
|
| 1 |
11-06-2026 17:58 |
Bill Gates dies and is escorted to Heaven's doorstep. God appears before him in
|
| 1 |
31-05-2026 23:02 |
Did you hear about the Italian with a 12-inch cock who got a hard-on and walked
|
| 1 |
30-05-2026 21:59 |
Why is it wrong to kill a nigger?
Because there'd still be millions left.
|
| 1 |
20-05-2026 19:52 |
Two men're sitting in their local Pub, sipping their Guinness in 1933 when the t
|
| 1 |
20-05-2026 19:50 |
Why do I always cry after sex?
Mace
|
| 1 |
16-05-2026 18:31 |
A limbless lady sunbathes on the beach and the sun sets a man approaches her and
|
| 1 |
14-05-2026 20:56 |
Anybody heard of the new fragrance for black men?
Eau de doo dah day.
|
| 1 |
13-05-2026 21:11 |
"It costs 10p to send this message. That's enough money for an African child to
|
| 1 |
08-05-2026 08:17 |
What does Al Italia stand for?
Arrived Late In Turin And Luggage In Athens
W
|
| 1 |
24-04-2026 14:34 |
This beautiful blonde went to her doctor complaining about pain in all her joint
|
| 1 |
18-04-2026 20:28 |
There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chinaman, and it's the morning of their
|
| 1 |
12-04-2026 18:56 |
A young lad is in the car with his Dad. Dad nearly hits someone and yells "Basta
|
| 1 |
17-03-2026 15:14 |
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
|
| 1 |
08-03-2026 20:16 |
What do you call a queer in a wheelchair?
Roll aids.
|
| 1 |
20-02-2026 08:36 |
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away its broom
|
| 1 |
13-02-2026 12:50 |
I threw a brick in the air and pondered what would happen...
... and then it hi
|
| 0 |
01-06-2026 21:22 |
Man went into a butcher, pondered upon what he fancied then asked the butcher fo
|
| 0 |
22-05-2026 23:50 |
A little boy runs up to his mother, saying "mummy, mummy! Why am I called Leaf?"
|
| 0 |
04-05-2026 22:54 |
Little Johnny's late for school again, and sidles into the classroom just before
|
| -2 |
14-02-2026 11:25 |
The wife's just thrown 5 cricket balls at me.
I said one more and it's over.
|
