| 8 |
16-12-2025 11:26 |
Our mum died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept tel
|
| 6 |
15-03-2026 20:54 |
What's 10 foot long and stinks of piss??
Conga line in an old peoples home
|
| 6 |
11-02-2026 16:18 |
I went for a job with the RSPB. The interviewer asked me what could I tell them
|
| 6 |
19-12-2025 15:29 |
My wife asks me, "What do you like most about me, my pretty face, or my sexy bod
|
| 6 |
19-12-2025 15:27 |
Teacher asks her class, "If I said, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?"
One
|
| 5 |
06-04-2026 20:35 |
Two Japanese sewage workers have been working the same stretch of sewer for twen
|
| 5 |
03-04-2026 20:55 |
What do you call a Somalian standing on a snow topped mountain?
A 99.
|
| 5 |
02-04-2026 19:35 |
What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?
Having a Miscarriage
|
| 5 |
01-04-2026 19:18 |
What do you call a dog with wings?
Linda McCartney
|
| 5 |
01-04-2026 19:16 |
How do you stop black kids from jumping on their beds?
Put Velcro on the ceil
|
| 5 |
12-03-2026 22:45 |
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being disabled in the
|
| 5 |
09-03-2026 21:57 |
Two men are out walking, they decide to go off in different directions, walking
|
| 5 |
09-03-2026 09:10 |
What's the difference between a family reunion and a 69er?
In a 69er you only
|
| 5 |
07-03-2026 08:43 |
Why doesn't Michael Barrymore have any ashtrays?
Because he puts his fags out
|
| 5 |
28-02-2026 14:52 |
What is the national bird of Iran?
A US drone
|
| 5 |
20-02-2026 08:24 |
I just watched an Australian cooking show and the audience cheered when the chef
|
| 5 |
18-02-2026 10:32 |
I read a book about an immortal dog. It was impossible to put down.
|
| 5 |
07-02-2026 21:41 |
I bought a jack in the box for 50p. But it doesn't work.
Why am I not surprised
|
| 5 |
03-02-2026 13:09 |
The wife's just thrown 5 cricket balls at me.
I said one more and it's over.
|
| 5 |
12-12-2025 15:10 |
Brother was banging his sister.
He says, "You fuck like Mum,"
She laughs.
He
|
| 4 |
07-04-2026 19:07 |
A man staggers into hospital, says to the doctor "Arrrgh! I've been raped by an
|
| 4 |
04-04-2026 17:28 |
Did you hear about the Paki that fucked a Princess?
He burnt his dick on the
|
| 4 |
28-03-2026 20:29 |
What have anabolic steroids and the Ku Klux Klan got in common?
They both mak
|
| 4 |
27-03-2026 16:20 |
Why did the leper fail his driving test?
He left his foot on the clutch.
|
| 4 |
22-03-2026 14:25 |
How can you tell its bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
The big hand reaches
|
| 4 |
14-03-2026 19:54 |
What is the smallest pub in the world?
The Thalidomide Arms
|
| 4 |
13-03-2026 19:22 |
How do you make a woman scream twice?
Fuck her up the arse, then wipe your co
|
| 4 |
11-03-2026 18:17 |
How do you get an Iranian girl pregnant?
Cum on her shoes and let the flies d
|
| 4 |
10-03-2026 18:43 |
What is the similarity between a woman and a KFC mega bucket?
You start on th
|
| 4 |
07-03-2026 08:43 |
What's blue and doesn't fit?
A dead epileptic!
|
| 4 |
03-03-2026 20:33 |
2 condoms walk past a gay bar ...
...one says to the other "want to go in there
|
| 4 |
22-02-2026 16:53 |
We went to the local Bulimic Awareness Realization Foundation meeting yesterday.
|
| 4 |
16-02-2026 21:37 |
Every time the leper visits his favourite whore, he leaves a tip.
|
| 4 |
10-02-2026 15:04 |
How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Heh heh heh, 'sc
|
| 4 |
31-01-2026 19:10 |
Just buried my friend who was hit by a tennis ball. The service was great
|
| 4 |
30-01-2026 10:27 |
My mate said he didn’t understand what cloning was. I said that makes two of us.
|
| 3 |
05-04-2026 18:06 |
What's the difference between a piece of toast and French men?
You can make s
|
| 3 |
04-04-2026 17:27 |
What do you call a Lesbian Paki?
Mingita
|
| 3 |
04-04-2026 17:26 |
What do you call a Paki that doesn't smell?
Asif
|
| 3 |
03-04-2026 20:54 |
Jack and Jill went up the hill
so Jack could lick Jill's fanny.
All he got was
|
| 3 |
02-04-2026 19:38 |
Irish priest, English vicar and Scottish minister on a ship, ship starts to sink
|
| 3 |
31-03-2026 19:36 |
What's red and has an arm and four legs?
A pitbull in kindergarten.
|
| 3 |
31-03-2026 19:29 |
How do you make a dead baby float ?
Lemonade
Ice Cream
and a couple of scoops
|
| 3 |
30-03-2026 20:52 |
Why do women get yeast infections?
So they too, know what it's like to deal w
|
| 3 |
30-03-2026 20:50 |
Why did the young Greek boy leave home?
He was fed up with the way he was bei
|
| 3 |
27-03-2026 19:13 |
What is blue and doesn't fit any more?
A dead epileptic
|
| 3 |
26-03-2026 22:15 |
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A quadriplegic in a house fir
|
| 3 |
19-03-2026 19:47 |
How do you know when your sister's having her period?
Your Dad's cock tastes
|
| 3 |
18-03-2026 20:13 |
What brown, runny, and hides in the loft?
The diarrhoea of Anne Frank.
|
| 3 |
05-03-2026 14:19 |
What should you do if a bird craps on your car?
Never take her out again
|
| 3 |
02-03-2026 23:07 |
What is the difference between Jesus, and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the p
|
| 3 |
02-03-2026 22:55 |
Why is the bible like a penis?
You get it forced down your throat by a priest.
|
| 3 |
27-02-2026 21:08 |
The wife didn’t like my joke about a prisoner with dwarfism falling out of a win
|
| 3 |
18-02-2026 10:25 |
In today's world, it’s vital to establish a good vocabulary. If only I had known
|
| 3 |
15-02-2026 18:09 |
The chap who invented the speed boat has died.
After his funeral there will be
|
| 3 |
10-02-2026 15:02 |
The wife wants to sell our old Chinese bowl but it has a few chips in it.
She'l
|
| 3 |
04-02-2026 21:46 |
What was the man in the iron mask's favourite food?
Walled-off salad.
|
| 2 |
08-04-2026 20:11 |
What's got two legs and bleeds ?
Half a dog.
|
| 2 |
08-04-2026 20:10 |
What do you do if a kitten spits at you?
Turn the grill down a little.
|
| 2 |
07-04-2026 19:11 |
A woman gives birth to the smartest baby ever.
The baby is able to talk. The ne
|
| 2 |
06-04-2026 20:38 |
Two black women with babies, at a bus stop.
One says to the other: "Is your tee
|
| 2 |
06-04-2026 20:37 |
What sits at the end of a bed and take the piss?
A kidney dialysis machine.
|
| 2 |
05-04-2026 18:14 |
Ida Mae passes away, and Bubba calls the hospital. The operator asks where the a
|
| 2 |
05-04-2026 18:10 |
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
3, one to screw it i
|
| 2 |
28-03-2026 20:28 |
What's the similarity between a steak and kidney pie and an old woman's cunt?
|
| 2 |
26-03-2026 22:17 |
What part of a cabbage can't you eat?
The wheelchair
|
| 2 |
25-03-2026 21:02 |
What has the Herald of Free Enterprise got in common with a prostitute?
They bo
|
| 2 |
25-03-2026 21:00 |
What do you say to a Serbian prostitute?
Slobberdownmycockyoubitch!
|
| 2 |
25-03-2026 07:20 |
What do you call a cocoon?
a n-nigger
|
| 2 |
25-03-2026 07:18 |
Paedo nonce and a 6-year-old child are going into some dark woods together.
The
|
| 2 |
23-03-2026 08:43 |
What's worse than having Michael Jackson looking after your kids?
Ian Huntly
|
| 2 |
22-03-2026 14:24 |
What is the difference between a woman and a fridge?
A fridge doesn't fart wh
|
| 2 |
19-03-2026 19:48 |
Why does Michael Jackson put cheese on his penis?
Because kids'll do anything
|
| 2 |
18-03-2026 20:16 |
A man with a speech impediment is planning to buy a horse, so he goes to a local
|
| 2 |
18-03-2026 20:08 |
What's better than winning a gold medal at the Paralympics?
Having two legs
|
| 2 |
17-03-2026 15:13 |
What do you call a prostitute with white eyes?
Full.
|
| 2 |
05-03-2026 14:17 |
When you're working in a coal mine, how do you know where you left the spade?
|
| 2 |
24-02-2026 20:25 |
I bought a alcoholic ginger beer.
He wasn't happy.
|
| 2 |
19-02-2026 11:51 |
Why did Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor get a beard trimmer for Christmas?
Because h
|
| 2 |
12-02-2026 07:56 |
I'm a chameleon. Somehow wedged myself between a brick and a tree trunk.
Brown
|
| 2 |
09-02-2026 10:15 |
How do you confuse an Irishman?
Tell him even though it says sparkling on the l
|
| 2 |
03-01-2026 10:28 |
I was playing in the park with my daughter when a kid ran up to me and slapped m
|
| 2 |
12-12-2025 21:09 |
If Russia was to invade Turkey from the rear...
Would Greece help?
|
| 1 |
09-04-2026 19:46 |
Have you tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they!
|
| 1 |
09-04-2026 19:43 |
3 prostitutes in a bar, first one says
"I've had so much sex I can stick my fis
|
| 1 |
09-04-2026 19:41 |
What's the definition of confused?
Forty blind lesbians in a fish market.
|
| 1 |
08-04-2026 20:12 |
A man was sitting on the bus, and about five minutes into the journey, he felt a
|
| 1 |
17-03-2026 15:14 |
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
|
| 1 |
08-03-2026 20:16 |
What do you call a queer in a wheelchair?
Roll aids.
|
| 1 |
20-02-2026 08:36 |
How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away its broom
|
| 1 |
13-02-2026 12:50 |
I threw a brick in the air and pondered what would happen...
... and then it hi
|
| -2 |
14-02-2026 11:25 |
The wife's just thrown 5 cricket balls at me.
I said one more and it's over.
|
