A man goes to the doctor and says "I've got a pain in my rectum" So the doctor gets him to drop his trousers and has a look up his arsehole - he sees a £20 note, so he pulls it out, then he sees another, and another and another and so on until finally he puts down £1995 quid on his desk. He says to the man, "did you know you had £1995 up your arse?", "Ah, says the man, I knew I wasn't feelling too grand."