If I win the Lotto I'll make sure that none of my friends or neighbours is poor. I'm going to move to a wealthy neighborhood.
Gambling Stallion (966) · 15-05-2026 1646I am anti abortion. I've got no problem with killing babies, it's just that I'm not comfortable with allowing women to have a choice.
Offensive Stallion (966) · 15-05-2026 1517
My emo son sighed and asked, "Why am I even here?" "Because my credit card was declined at the abortion clinic," I replied.
Dark Stallion (966) · 15-05-2026 1032I was devastated to find out that Mr Potato Head is very ill. He has a brain tuber.
Disease/Illness Squeaky (669) · 15-05-2026 09158 things you should never say to a woman if you want a stress-free life: #1: 'Hello.'
Marriage / Wedding theverydevilhimself (130) · 14-05-2026 2148Anybody heard of the new fragrance for black men? Eau de doo dah day.
Racist Allobosca (617) · 14-05-2026 2056What's red and hangs off the back of the train? Miscarriage.
Babies Allobosca (617) · 14-05-2026 2049Two piles of sick are walking down the road, when one starts crying. The other asks what's wrong, and the crying one replies "Nothing, it's just this is where I was brought up".
Wordplay Allobosca (617) · 14-05-2026 2048A man goes to visit his dad who is in hospital dying. The old man's health is failing, death is imminent and the son doesn't know what to do. He is talking to the nurse and she says well what has he always wanted in life that he never achieved? The son thinks for a moment and says "Well to be honest he's always wanted to meet Duncan Goodhew and Telly Savalas. But I can't get Duncan Goodhew here at short notice and Telly Savalas died years ago!" The nurse says "Hmm, well to be honest he's on so many drugs and his eyesight is now so bad I think we could pretend they are here and he wouldn't realise." The son says "Well how do we do that?" and the nurse says "Well... I've got quite large breasts, if I take off my top and push them up it will look like two bald men, and then you can do the voices." The son thinks about this for a moment and decides it's worth a shot. So they go into the room. He says to his dad "Hey dad I've got a surprise for you." "What's that son?" "Well I made a few calls and Duncan Goodhew and Telly Savalas are here to visit you!" The old man perks right up and says "Really? Show them in!" and so the nurse takes off her top, pushes her tits up and walks over to the bed. Immediately the old man goes "Wow guys I've always wanted to meet you two, come closer so I can see you better!" So the nurse gets closer and the old man immediately starts fondling her breasts. He says "Telly! I always loved you as a Kojak and in The Dirty Dozen, so many great films." And he is patting her left breast like it was Savalas' head. "And Duncan! Such a great swimmer, you did us proud in the Olympics winning those medals, let me pinch your cheek" and he gently pinches the nurse's right breast. At this point the nurse gets a bit flustered, turns to the son and says "Ooh, oh my, could you tell him Rolf Harris is here as well?"
Doctor/Nurse/Medical ianwatkins (730) · 14-05-2026 2033You know when you get that urge to eat something just because it's there? Well I lost my job as a Gynecologist today Quote: Original Sicki
Adult root (6) · 14-05-2026 1941Thought I’d post my favourite joke of all time first up . Bloke walks into a pub and shouts “ ALL MUSLIMS ARE CUNTS” To which someone stands up and replies “ I find that highly offensive “ “Why are you a Muslim ? “ “ No, I’m a cunt “ Credit someone else , somewhere else
Cacistrunt (6) · 14-05-2026 1917I saw a weird man in Costa the other day. He was just sat there drinking coffee
General zinger549 (5) · 14-05-2026 1805