My best friend's wife died after being hit by a car. He asked me if I would say a few words at her funeral. ' Stop,Look and Listen, ' didn't go down very well.
Accidents/Injuries › Car Crash Car Crash Squeaky (1644) · 28-08-2026 0741What's the difference between a black woman from the 1800s and a black woman today.. The type of lashes they get.
Racist Pasty (21) · 28-08-2026 0552Two teenages missing in Nepal. Last seen driving up the highway against the traffic.
Murder/Death/Killing ponga (313) · 28-08-2026 0215I watched a film about woke women over-reacting to compliments. Despicable #MeToo
Political › Left Wing Left Wing supergalley (1775) · 27-08-2026 2134If you hate yourself, remember you're not alone. A lot of other people hate you too.
Dumb/Thick › Conspiracy Brain Conspiracy Brain supergalley (1775) · 27-08-2026 2133I met this really hot girl who was into green issues and the environment in a big way. She later dumped me when she found out my erection wasn't sustainable.
Green /Environment / Carbon Neutral Stickyagain (1882) · 27-08-2026 1912The best way to calm children down is to go to McDonald's. If your baby is crying, give it a shake.
Babies › Shaken Baby Joke Shaken Baby Joke ianwatkins (1951) · 27-08-2026 1851I met this girl in a club and she was all over me, she whispered in my ear "I want you to fuck me me really badly" She wasn't disappointed.
Sex n Shit Stickyagain (1882) · 27-08-2026 1849I'm not saying Pakis smell bad, but I spoke to one over an hour ago and I'm still gagging. And that was on the phone.
Pakistani theverydevilhimself (2894) · 27-08-2026 1803I'm so ugly I have to roofie my hand.
Rape / Sexual Violence theverydevilhimself (2894) · 27-08-2026 1801I rang the builders yard and said "I'd like 20 yards of sand for delivery please" The guy said "christ, what are you building, a hotel?" I said "no, I won a camel in a raffle"
Animals Stickyagain (1882) · 27-08-2026 1720That's the last time I discuss the stock market with Wayne Rooney When I asked him about today's FTSE he said, "Had to cancel it la, Beryl's lost both her legs to diabetes"
Age/Elderly › Senior Sex Senior Sex LennysCrevasse (1036) · 27-08-2026 1717Tibet Flash Floods Latest: Burnham demands more frequent updates because so far he's only receiving them on a dalai basis
In The News › Weather Extreme Weather Extreme LennysCrevasse (1036) · 27-08-2026 1617The mudslide in Nepal has claimed about 1,300 lives if I was a Tibetan man I think there could be more
In The News › Weather Extreme Weather Extreme HaveIGotnews (74) · 27-08-2026 1609It must be great being a necrophiliac. You can just go straight up to someone and tell them you fancy them rotten.
Sex n Shit theverydevilhimself (2894) · 27-08-2026 1544
All this rain on the same weekend as Manchester Pride. It's as if God hates gay people.
AIDS › Gay Plague Era Gay Plague Era ianwatkins (1951) · 27-08-2026 1515A Buddhist stops at a street vendor for something to eat. He said "a hot dog please and make me one with everything" He takes it and the vendor says "here's your change" The Buddhist says "no thank you, change must come from within"
Religion › Buddhist / Other Buddhist / Other Stickyagain (1882) · 27-08-2026 1449
My kids are scared of flies. They always start to cry when I unzip mine.
Ask your wife to sit on her hand til it goes numb, before wanking you off. It'll feel like her sister's doing it.
Wife scotty (461) · 27-08-2026 1236Residents in Bradford who are being kept awake at night by fireworks set off by the city's Asian community have launched a petition asking the government to ban them. I signed it enthusiastically but then I realised they meant the fireworks.
Pakistani Hengist (684) · 27-08-2026 1230BBC News: Two teenagers, 13 and 14, among 33 UK nationals missing in Nepal floods. Oh so fuck the other 31 because they were adults? Teenagers are all suicidal anyway.
Dark › Existential Nihilism Existential Nihilism ianwatkins (1951) · 27-08-2026 1215Me and my new girlfriend are at it like rabbits. My penis is tiny and I ejaculate in under 2 seconds.
Sex n Shit ianwatkins (1951) · 27-08-2026 1204My Muslim colleague doesn't understand why women dress up like bunny girls. He said "Why would you want to have sex with a rabbit?"
A penguin walks into a bar and says "has my brother been in?" The barman says "dunno, what does he look like?"
Dad Jokes Stickyagain (1882) · 27-08-2026 0952