All women are bi. It's just a matter of figuring out whether she's bipolar or bisexual.
Sex n Shit innit 🥉 (495) · 15-07-2026 0716Simply put a % sign after your age to see how dead you are.
Death notbaldbob 🥈 🥉 (310) · 15-07-2026 0533My friend gave me an elephant for my room. ' Thank you, ' I said. ' Don't mention it, ' he replied.
General Squeaky (1224) · 15-07-2026 0958I was in Glasgow and walked past a building that said it was a "battered women's Centre" Fuck me, those Scots will deep fry anything.
Domestic Violence/Woman Beating Stickyagain (845) · 15-07-2026 0759Never trust anyone who can spell gonnorhea correctly on the first attempt.
Sex n Shit innit 🥉 (495) · 15-07-2026 0737How do you torture a homosexual? Throw him into a bottomless pit!
England's hopes sank fast in the match against Argentina... ...still, I can think of something that sank faster
Boats Hengist (376) · 15-07-2026 2055We were on a plane and the guy next to us started to be sick, so I got a paper bag ready. "Thanks", he said as I put it over my wife's head.
Marriage / Wedding notbaldbob 🥈 🥉 (310) · 15-07-2026 1023I walked into the takeaway and said "cod and chips twice" The bloke behind the counter said "I heard you the first time"
Just found out that cock fighting is done with chickens..... That was 8 months of training fucking wasted.
Dumb/Thick notbaldbob 🥈 🥉 (310) · 15-07-2026 1332Why are there no Chinese paedophiles? Because when you offer a Chinese kid a puppy they say "No thanks, I'm not hungry."
I looked up my family tree online. Turns out my great great great great great Grandad was a slave trader in the 19th Century. Quite a lucrative occupation, it seems. He was on a six nigger salary.
theverydevilhimself 🥈 (1614) · 15-07-2026 1718This bloke who murdered Ann Widdecombe. Any chance of giving him Starmer's new address?
Murder/Death/Killing scotty (233) · 15-07-2026 1537"I've remortgaged the house and bet 100k on tonight's match." "Do you think you have a gambling problem?" "I'm not sure yet. I'll know after tonight's match."
Gambling Hengist (376) · 15-07-2026 2013If you can spell Tertiary Syphilis, chances are you don't have it.
Disease/Illness theverydevilhimself 🥈 (1614) · 15-07-2026 1113Ann Widdecombe murder: police investigate possibility killer was a lefty, as her skull was caved in on the right side.
In The News theverydevilhimself 🥈 (1614) · 15-07-2026 0542The Met Office weather map is now permanently dark red. Yesterday it was 22 degrees in Slough and three interns had to be sedated.
In The News WayOutWest (131) · 15-07-2026 1509