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9

I like my steaks rare. Tonight I'm having panda.

Animals

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Stallion 🥈 🥉 🥉 (272) · 22-12-2025 0645
8

I've been paying the Cat's Protection League every month for over three years. I only missed two payments and they came around and broke my cat's legs.

Animals

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garry6291 🥉 (79) · 08-01-2026 1821
7

I bought a gun because I have a fear of eagles. "You're getting carried away," said my wife. "Not without a fucking fight I'm not," I replied.

Animals

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Stallion 🥈 🥉 🥉 (272) · 12-12-2025 1032
6

I'm conducting scientific research regarding men having sex with dogs. If anybody wants me I'll be in my lab.

Animals

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Stallion 🥈 🥉 🥉 (272) · 21-12-2025 1621
5

I don't believe that elephants are being poached in Africa. Those niggers don't have pan big enough or any water.

Animals

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Stallion 🥈 🥉 🥉 (272) · 08-01-2026 1947
4

Cows can walk upstairs but not downstairs. As first discovered by the horny farmer when his wife came home early.

Animals

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ianwatkins 🥇 🥇 (451) · 05-01-2026 1446
4

(A groaner) Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer is being interviewed on a popular chat show. Host: So, Rudolph, do you get along well with the other reindeer? Rudolph: Oh, they're great. We have so much fun together. Except for this one bxtch. She makes my life miserable Host: Really? Care to tell the audience her name? Rudolph: Sure. It's Olive. Host: Olive? Never heard of a reindeer names Olive. We all know Prancer and Dancer, Comet and Vixen... Rudolph: No! It's Olive. She's so nasty they wrote a song about her. Host: Can you sing it? Rudolph: Sure. "Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names...

Animals

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OkiPaul (25) · 18-12-2025 0846
4

We were in Peru and this strange animal mounted my wife from behind and fucked her up the arse. A Llama? No, she really enjoyed it.

Animals

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ianwatkins 🥇 🥇 (451) · 17-12-2025 1609
3

The T-shirt was originally called the Tyrannosaurus Shirt. Because of the short arms.

Animals

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Squeaky (70) · 24-12-2025 1548
1

I'm sure my cat's a communist. Keeps going round the house saying "Mao"

Animals

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madgringo (35) · 12-12-2025 0659