| 17 |
06-06-2026 17:58 |
There was a kid in my year at high school who got picked on all the time because
|
| 11 |
06-06-2026 19:21 |
I once had sex with this really hot black girl.
Got to the scene before the f
|
| 11 |
27-05-2026 16:12 |
I applied for Disability Benefit on account of my alcoholism.
As I told the a
|
| 10 |
07-06-2026 19:57 |
I used to date a Jewish girl, but it didn't end too well.
One time I invited
|
| 10 |
07-06-2026 12:35 |
I tried to get into a support group for people with Tourette's Syndrome, but the
|
| 10 |
07-06-2026 07:19 |
There was a kid in my year at high school who was allergic to water.
Well, I
|
| 10 |
27-05-2026 15:53 |
I go to the gym most evenings.
I don't do any exercise, but after watching th
|
| 9 |
08-06-2026 05:43 |
How many spastics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Fuck knows. The first o
|
| 9 |
06-06-2026 14:15 |
I was getting ready to leave the house this morning when an advert on the telly
|
| 9 |
03-06-2026 21:12 |
The band Massive Attack re-released their 1998 album Mezzanine in 2018, in a spr
|
| 9 |
20-05-2026 05:57 |
Pop star Kylie Minogue reveals she was given a cancer diagnosis for the second t
|
| 9 |
27-04-2026 16:03 |
Donald Trump says he 'wasn't worried' by the shooting incident at the White Hous
|
| 8 |
08-06-2026 16:16 |
I gave my daughter away at her wedding yesterday.
Got a bit plastered before
|
| 8 |
03-06-2026 21:17 |
My Glaswegian cousin had a problem with drugs, but his real passion in life was
|
| 8 |
25-05-2026 16:59 |
Who's the best family butcher in Essex?
Jeremy Bamber.
|
| 8 |
06-05-2026 18:45 |
I know my rights. Every question I was asked, I responded with 'No comment'.
|
| 7 |
01-06-2026 16:58 |
How many women with PMT does it take to change a lightbulb?
It's an irrationa
|
| 7 |
30-05-2026 07:25 |
Which cheese is the most harmful to your health?
Freddie Mercury's.
|
| 7 |
29-05-2026 06:05 |
2 taxi drivers having a pint:
'I love picking up tipsy women. They always giv
|
| 7 |
18-05-2026 05:36 |
Whaddaya call a Japanese homo?
Tak Mashita.
|
| 7 |
16-05-2026 07:53 |
You're either non-binary or you're not.
|
| 7 |
14-05-2026 21:48 |
8 things you should never say to a woman if you want a stress-free life:
#1:
|
| 7 |
11-05-2026 21:25 |
Some young pikey lads came into my local last Friday night.
They started nois
|
| 6 |
07-06-2026 19:55 |
My last relationship didn't work out, but at least I have full custody of the ki
|
| 6 |
03-06-2026 06:04 |
What did Colonel Gaddafi and Freddie Mercury have in common?
They both died a
|
| 6 |
02-06-2026 10:18 |
What do Matthew Perry and a frog have in common?
They both croak in shallow w
|
| 6 |
29-05-2026 14:50 |
Nicola Sturgeon did not use the kitchen at the home she shared with Peter Murrel
|
| 6 |
23-05-2026 06:52 |
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
The guy who supplies the best LSD.
|
| 6 |
12-05-2026 21:26 |
My wife says she's leaving me because she can no longer cope with my obsessive j
|
| 6 |
12-05-2026 06:06 |
Reform UK councillor condemned for saying he would like to 'melt down Nigerians
|
| 6 |
03-05-2026 12:37 |
My wife and I share a toothbrush.
She uses it to brush her teeth, and I use i
|
| 5 |
02-06-2026 16:58 |
Communism.
It's not for everyone.
|
| 5 |
26-05-2026 05:11 |
Former SNP treasurer Peter Murrell, the estranged husband of Nicola Sturgeon, fa
|
| 5 |
23-05-2026 06:55 |
Judeath Chalmers.
|
| 5 |
16-05-2026 13:00 |
He who laughs last, laughs loudest.
Usually after you've explained the punchl
|
| 5 |
14-05-2026 16:46 |
Opinion piece in today's Independent:
'Wes Streeting has proved he’s no bottl
|
| 5 |
05-05-2026 11:28 |
*knocks on door*
Woman: 'Yes?'
Me: 'Hi, I saw your advert in the paper sai
|
| 5 |
04-05-2026 20:42 |
I can't fucking believe I've been suspended from work for 'racial harassment'. T
|
| 5 |
04-05-2026 11:18 |
What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
I don't have a couple of egg
|
| 5 |
28-04-2026 15:47 |
Sri Lanka police arrest 22 monks after 110kg of cannabis found in luggage.
Go
|
| 5 |
20-04-2026 20:48 |
What's the difference between 'Influencers' and 'Influenza'?
I can tolerate I
|
| 5 |
19-04-2026 16:52 |
I tried to log into my Facebook account recently, only to find I've been permane
|
| 5 |
17-04-2026 15:07 |
Starmer says it is ‘staggering’ and ‘unforgivable’ he was not told Mandelson fai
|
| 5 |
14-04-2026 15:55 |
I saw a pretty lass in the pub last night, so I went over to talk to her.
She
|
| 4 |
05-06-2026 23:07 |
Fuck off, officer!
I was only keeping those ladies' skins until they asked fo
|
| 4 |
26-05-2026 15:55 |
'Find something you love doing, and you'll never work a day in your life!'
Es
|
| 4 |
18-05-2026 21:10 |
Facebook's 'acceptable content' algorithm is bigoted, by the way. So much for a
|
| 4 |
19-04-2026 19:22 |
At the bus stop today, two pregnant women struck up a conversation.
One patte
|
| 4 |
18-04-2026 10:23 |
I much prefer it when women make eye contact during sex.
Which can be quite f
|
| 4 |
16-04-2026 05:37 |
Police are investigating claims Katy Perry sexually assaulted the Australian act
|
| 3 |
31-05-2026 11:46 |
Madonna was a lot sexier back in the eighties.
She's not so hot now since she
|
| 3 |
20-05-2026 16:02 |
'Dress for the job you want, not the job you have,' the life coach advised me.
|
| 3 |
16-05-2026 16:10 |
Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton win battle to stop 29-storey block being built by T
|
| 3 |
06-05-2026 16:09 |
I don't get these Christians who say homosexuality is an abomination.
It's ri
|
| 3 |
04-05-2026 15:51 |
My date last night:
'You know, the one thing I can't stand in this life is im
|
| 3 |
29-04-2026 06:10 |
Last night I watched that Charlie's Angels movie sequel with Cameron Diaz and De
|
| 3 |
26-04-2026 11:10 |
Influencer (whatever the fuck that means) Klaudiaglam, dies 6 days after being r
|
| 3 |
25-04-2026 10:13 |
My dentist was puzzled as to why I needed fillings, despite brushing twice a day
|
| 3 |
19-04-2026 19:22 |
After taking all their land and forcing them on to reservations, white America e
|
| 3 |
16-04-2026 13:06 |
Meghan Markle is flogging £1,700 tickets to a wellness retreat in Sydney, descri
|
| 3 |
13-04-2026 20:01 |
Meta is working on an AI clone of Mark Zuckerberg, so people can chat online wit
|
| 2 |
09-06-2026 06:05 |
I use my compact video camera to secretly film my brothel visits.
It's a GoPr
|
| 2 |
08-06-2026 20:42 |
Donald Trump is a very passionate politician.
He's always losing his shit.
|
| 2 |
24-05-2026 14:41 |
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor faces police investigation into alleged inappropriate
|
| 2 |
18-05-2026 15:58 |
Several Royal Protection Officers are under investigation after falling asleep o
|
| 2 |
29-04-2026 05:47 |
Dances With Wolves star Nathan Chasing Horse sentenced to life in prison.
Don
|
| 2 |
14-04-2026 15:52 |
What kind of paving did Hitler have on his driveway?
Monobollock.
|
| 1 |
31-05-2026 11:44 |
The week in politics:
Trump tears apart his number two and refuses to crown h
|
| 1 |
12-05-2026 21:27 |
Donald Trump says he's against socialism and communism in all their forms.
Ye
|
| 1 |
07-05-2026 11:15 |
FedEx driver who abducted and murdered 7 year old girl sentenced to death.
W
|
| 1 |
04-05-2026 15:49 |
Cold Chocolate!
|
| 1 |
01-05-2026 20:04 |
I'm pushing 60.
I'm 23, but fuck it, grab a granny night at my local you take
|
| 1 |
23-04-2026 11:23 |
Bag snatcher who targeted Kristi Noem sentenced to three years in prison.
Gr
|
| 0 |
28-04-2026 21:45 |
My brother has had a nasty cough for 6 years now.
I reckon it's Really Long C
|
| 0 |
28-04-2026 21:35 |
US to issue ‘America 250’ passports featuring Donald Trump’s image.
Sounds li
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