I answered a knock at the door to find two policemen standing there. One said, 'Are you the owner of the Ford Focus that's parked outside?' 'I am,' I replied. 'Well, I'm afraid someone has hit your car and driven off. It's quite badly damaged.' I replied, 'Thank fuck for that!' The copper said, 'What do you mean, sir?' I said, 'I thought you two were here about those videos on my hard drive.'