My mate Dave and I were hiking through the jungle in Cambodia. Suddenly I saw a metallic disc on the ground. I bent down to pick it up, and Dave shouts "stop!!! That's a mine!!!" I replied "hell no!! Finders keepers!! And why you suddenly speaking like an Italian??"
Wordplay OkiPaul (58) · 12-06-2026 0245I fell asleep with my phone under my pillow. The next morning my phone was gone and there was a pound coin in its place. Fucking Bluetooth fairy!
Wordplay Stallion 🥈 (1308) · 13-06-2026 0625My son took his first steps this morning.. the window cleaner is fucking furious
Wordplay root (188) · 23-05-2026 0745Is it "For fuck's sake" or "For fuck sake"? It's for a work email so it has to sound professional.
Wordplay innit 🥈 (292) · 15-06-2026 0725One for our older readers: I was in the pub with my wife. She said "stop looking at that bar maids bust" I said "I hadn't really noticed dear, I'll have pint of Titbread Wankard please"
Wordplay Stickyagain 🥉 (451) · 07-06-2026 0957I accidentally drank some invisible ink. I'm now in hospital waiting to be seen.
Wordplay Allobosca 🥇 🥈 🥇 (1553) · 28-05-2026 1419I was in a posh wine bar last night, this gorgeous young blonde with big tits in a slinky dress was giving me the eye so I went over and asked her name. She said "Chantelle." I said "Well if that's your attitude fine!" and stormed out.
Wordplay ianwatkins 🥉 🥉 (1242) · 06-06-2026 0012A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious". Roland the class swot gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious." "Well done, Roland," says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?" Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious." "Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?" Little Irish Patrick jumps up and says in a broad accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."
Wordplay Allobosca 🥇 🥈 🥇 (1553) · 15-06-2026 1509Apparently Jim Jefferies uses too much seasoning when preparing food. Someone told me he's a Liberal cook.
Wordplay ianwatkins 🥉 🥉 (1242) · 06-06-2026 1219Every frank discussion I've ever had sucked. Why is Frank such a massive cunt?
Wordplay innit 🥈 (292) · 28-05-2026 0819News: Brazilian woman without a safety cord attached falls 130ft to her death in bungle jump.
Wordplay theverydevilhimself 🥇 (775) · 18-06-2026 1605Don't you just hate it when people think there clever but use the wrong grammar?
I never order shrimp-fried rice. Call me old-fashioned, but I like my food to be prepared by a human.
Wordplay Allobosca 🥇 🥈 🥇 (1553) · 29-05-2026 1353