| 16 |
11-06-2026 20:11 |
We call my grandad "Spiderman" he hasn't got any special powers, he just can't g
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| 15 |
07-06-2026 15:48 |
My local authority have plans to build a sewage farm near me. It won't be popula
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| 14 |
04-06-2026 18:16 |
I've been watching a lot of "reality" porn lately.
You know, where the couple g
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| 14 |
03-06-2026 21:52 |
I painted my motor home pink, gave the headlights eyelashes and fitted net curta
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| 13 |
08-06-2026 11:12 |
When people say "he's alright once you get to know him" it actually means "he's
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| 13 |
07-06-2026 18:44 |
Breaking news:
three cliff walkers fall to their death in lake district.
What
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| 12 |
02-06-2026 08:18 |
I asked my wife if I could fuck her up the arse. She
said "why the hell would I
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| 11 |
08-06-2026 19:55 |
I went to see Jo Brand. She walked on and I shouted "don't get your tits out!"
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| 11 |
08-06-2026 19:15 |
In 1066 William the 1st assembled 2000 Normans in France ready to invade England
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| 11 |
31-05-2026 18:54 |
A mermaids vital statistics: 24-36-£4.99 a kilo.
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| 11 |
31-05-2026 17:44 |
Chicken is so expensive, I've started catching seagulls. You have to cook them q
|
| 10 |
07-06-2026 10:00 |
I bought a pair of epileptic trousers. I had to take them back as they didn't fi
|
| 10 |
28-05-2026 08:34 |
I've just had a log burner fitted,but it's so much easier to just flush them.
|
| 9 |
12-06-2026 14:20 |
I rang my mate this morning and asked what he was doing. He replied "probably fa
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| 9 |
07-06-2026 15:54 |
I'll never forget the time there were two girls fighting over me in the street.
|
| 9 |
07-06-2026 09:57 |
One for our older readers:
I was in the pub with my wife. She said "stop lookin
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| 9 |
29-05-2026 19:54 |
A dog just chased me up the road on my bike.
Fuck knows how it reached the peda
|
| 9 |
29-05-2026 00:00 |
Religion, same shit, different deity.
|
| 8 |
12-06-2026 07:24 |
Why did the pervert cross the road?
He had his cock in the chicken
|
| 8 |
08-06-2026 06:51 |
"Never go to sleep on an argument"
Stay up and win!
|
| 8 |
07-06-2026 15:50 |
I've just bought an LG TV with BT broadband. All I can get is programs about the
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| 8 |
04-06-2026 18:01 |
I've just bought a polo shirt and it's got a massive hole in it.
|
| 8 |
02-06-2026 21:50 |
The worst thing about having a daughter with cancer is that you can't pull her h
|
| 8 |
31-05-2026 17:46 |
There have been reports of a dogging site appearing in a Surrey village. It's ri
|
| 8 |
25-05-2026 17:14 |
The "modern" definition of incest:
When you can taste your dad's fanny on your
|
| 8 |
25-05-2026 17:12 |
My wife has new job as a traffic warden. I think the power has gone to her head.
|
| 7 |
10-06-2026 08:16 |
Q. what's brown, 8 inches long and starts with a P?
A. a shit
|
| 7 |
05-06-2026 17:41 |
I attended my first session of "mysanthropes anonymous" last night. Nobody else
|
| 7 |
05-06-2026 17:06 |
When I was young I was very tall. I was as tall as the world's largest bird. But
|
| 7 |
01-06-2026 16:17 |
Did you know, nine out of ten people enjoy........ never mind.
|
| 6 |
13-06-2026 08:18 |
An alien landed in my garden last night and said "take me to your leader"
I sai
|
| 6 |
08-06-2026 19:19 |
I was walking past a school playground and from over the fence I heard all the k
|
| 6 |
05-06-2026 06:56 |
During the war, many of the RAF's bombers were built by Vickers. But they were t
|
| 6 |
04-06-2026 18:17 |
"King penguin"
A particularly annoying penguin.
|
| 6 |
04-06-2026 18:03 |
I went to an underwater disco night last night. I pulled a muscle
|
| 6 |
04-06-2026 15:10 |
Grooming products are getting so expensive.
£1.10 for a tube of Smarties!
|
| 6 |
04-06-2026 15:08 |
This child obesity crisis isn't all bad. At last, 10 year olds with decent size
|
| 5 |
04-06-2026 18:13 |
My mate has had a motorcycle accident. He has a broken leg, broken ribs and brai
|
| 5 |
04-06-2026 18:09 |
My daughter has a Norwegian boyfriend who's dad owns a Hi-Fi shop. She's banging
|
| 5 |
03-06-2026 09:33 |
I was in the pub last night and there was a
Bonnie Tyler tribute act on stage
|
| 5 |
28-05-2026 23:59 |
There's a bloke at work who's an unorthodox jew. He's a Nazi.
|
| 5 |
25-05-2026 00:28 |
I've applied for a job teaching advanced geometry. I'll get it easily as I have
|
| 5 |
18-05-2026 10:25 |
Be thankful for the small things in life.
Unless it's your cock.
|
| 4 |
05-06-2026 16:26 |
Anthony Dead
|
| 4 |
04-06-2026 17:57 |
My mate asked me what my wife did for a living. I said "it's hard to say really,
|
| 4 |
04-06-2026 15:07 |
I'm shagging this girl who loves me to dress up as a Norse god.
It's a very Lok
|
| 4 |
29-05-2026 11:54 |
Gaffer tape is like "The Force"
It's light on one side, dark on the other and h
|
| 4 |
25-05-2026 17:09 |
I fucking hate supermarkets. I bought a bottle of scotch yesterday and the fat c
|
| 3 |
12-06-2026 20:43 |
I would never fly tip. Those dirty fuckers never give good service.
|
| 3 |
12-06-2026 20:39 |
Mr Mrs dragged me out shoe shopping last week . But I got my own back the week a
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