My grief counselor died last week. She was that good at her job, I didn't give a fuck
Just got myself one of those expensive diver's watches. Couldn't carry the drowned cunt's SCUBA tanks though.
Death ianwatkins 🥉 🥈 (1368) · 12-06-2026 0021Dad died of asbestos poisoning It took bloody ages to cremate him
Death Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 10-06-2026 1747British serial killers are offered a last drink before jail. Guard: "What would you like?" Harold Shipman: "A nice whiskey would be great" Guard: "What would you like?" Myra Hindley: "I'd love some red wine" Guard: "What would you like?" Fred West: "I could murder some Tennants"
Death Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 18-06-2026 1603A female Royal Navy pilot died in a helicopter crash that also killed two male crew members. She was trying to put it into reverse.
Death ponga (81) · 04-06-2026 1300I've been that skint for ages, I can't tell you..... but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I just need my really ill Nan to walk towards it.
Death Gungho_ED (216) · 28-05-2026 1926I’ve decided that if reincarnation is real, I’m coming back as a stray cat. No bills, no mortgage, and if I decide to let out a blood-curdling yowl at 3 a.m. before disembowelling something in the street, it’s not 'insanity'—it’s just 'nature.'
Death mrjayhey (122) · 19-06-2026 0905American singer and comedian Oliver Tree has died in a helicopter crash in Brazil, according to local reports. Tree felled by chopper.
Death theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥈 (1063) · 14-06-2026 2055Dad died of asbestos poisoning It took bloody ages to cremate him
Death Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 10-06-2026 1746What do Matthew Perry and a frog have in common? They both croak in shallow water.
Death theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥈 (1063) · 02-06-2026 1018An undertaker says to a bereaved husband, "When did you realise your wife was dead?" "Well" He replies "The sex was the same, but the dishes just kept piling up."
Death Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 23-06-2026 1609Q. How many potatoes does it take to kill a million Irish people? A. None!
Death DdraigGoch (488) · 20-06-2026 2135I was seeing a woman from Brazil who enjoyed bungee jumping. I thought how dangerous it is doing all that stuff, so said I want no strings attached.
Death Dogpad (47) · 18-06-2026 1748I have a joke about a dead body, but I think it’s best to keep it quiet. It’s hard enough to stop the neighbors from complaining about the smell without me drawing any more attention to what’s in the basement.
Death mrjayhey (122) · 14-06-2026 1445