A vehicle has ploughed into crowds at Berlin Pride. The suspect reportedly had a beard, was shouting “Allahu Akbar”, wearing a suicide vest and fled the scene on a goat. Police are urging people not to speculate about the motive.
Muslim WayOutWest (419) · 25-07-2026 2134A British army sniper was asked how many people he had killed. "None," he replied, "only Muslims."
Muslim Stallion (1597) · 29-07-2026 0001A Muslim lady was denied entrance into McDonalds today until she removes her hijab. Should have gone to Burka king.
Muslim notbaldbob (1172) · 23-07-2026 0531A British army sniper was asked what he felt when shooting terrorists. He replied, "Recoil."
Muslim Stallion (1597) · 30-07-2026 1601Air passenger 'invokes Sharia law' to avoid sitting next to a woman. Thank fuck the pilot wasn't gay.
Muslim ponga (251) · 18-07-2026 0721I left the house this morning to be greeted by a huge, wet dogshit in the middle of my beautiful lawn. I was going to scoop it up and post it through the door of the local mosque, but the smell was too much for me. I couldn't get near the place.
Muslim notbaldbob (1172) · 16-07-2026 1428“Kids, listen very carefully to me, never ever talk to or get into a strangers car. Do you all understand me?” “Yea daddy. But why?” “I’ll have to explain later darling, Abdul from Uber is waiting for us outside now.”
Muslim Cockwomble (93) · 27-07-2026 2002Today 64 muslims died in Bradford, it was not a terrorist attack. A bunk bed collapsed. Police are blaming Al Ikea.
Muslim notbaldbob (1172) · 27-07-2026 1831I should have checked Trustpilot before ordering from Jihadi Florists. When the flowers arrived, they all had their heads cut off.
What you call a Muslim with 2 pigs on his head? Mohammed. What you call a Muslim with 2 pigs on his head that throws away perfectly good fish? Mohammed Bin Salman
Muslim Gingerpubes (140) · 06-08-2026 1312Josh Kerry murdered Ann Widdecombe because of her stance on illegal immigrants. Well the lucky little fella is going to meet plenty of them over the next 50 years in a maximum security prison.
Muslim ianwatkins 🥉 (1842) · 18-07-2026 2103What's the difference between Muslims and Smarties? Smarties don't blow up in the tube!
Muslim Allobosca 🥇 (2375) · 12-07-2026 1119A Muslim family has moved in next door. To welcome them to the neighbourhood, I'm bacon a cake for them.
Muslim theverydevilhimself 🥇 🥇 🥈 (2186) · 07-08-2026 0802Englishman, African and an Asian sitting in a restaurant, waiting for their food. They're looking around the place and spot a man sitting by himself drinking water in the corner. After a few minutes they recognise him as Jesus Christ himself. They agree that he's a great bloke and all chip in to buy Jesus some food. The waiter goes over to Jesus, explains the gesture and gets the food in for him, which Jesus enjoys whole-heartedly. After the meal, he walks over to see the 3 generous men. He first of all thanks them all, and shakes the hand of the Englishman. The Englishman gets the shivers, feels all tingly etc then says; "Hang about, I've had chronic arthritis in this wrist for 20 years, you've just cured it, it's a miracle!" Jesus smiles, then shakes the hand of the African. "Bloomin 'eck, you've cured my back! I've had problems with that for nearly 30 years, thank you Jesus!" Jesus smiles, then turns to the Asian, who looks terrified, turns and runs away knocking over tables and chairs. They all ask what's wrong, to which the Asian shouts, "I'm not losing my Disability Allowance for no cunt!"
Muslim Allobosca 🥇 (2375) · 09-07-2026 0650