I know my rights. Every question I was asked, I responded with 'No comment'. Anyway, she doesn't want to go on a second date.
Silly theverydevilhimself (229) · 06-05-2026 1845A young, heavily pregnant Irish lass is involved in a car crash and is put into a coma. When she wakes up several weeks later, she discovers that she has given birth. "What happened to my baby?" she asks a nurse. "Well, miss, you had a boy and a girl, and your brother Seamus is looking after them for you. We didn't know how long you'd be out, so he named them for you." "But Seamus is a dickhead! What did he call them?" the girl asks. "He called the girl Denise". "That's not too bad," the girl says, "what did he call the boy?" "Denephew."
Silly Allobosca 🥈 🥇 🥈 (907) · 29-04-2026 2202Pete the sewer worker has been in his job for twenty years and the town mayor decides to visit Pete at work and make a little presentation. The mayor climbs down into the sewer and gets chatting to Pete about why he likes his job so much. "Well" Pete says "My job is fascinating. You see that big turd floating past us now? That's from the carpenters. I can tell because you can see sawdust in it. Now this next one. That's from the gardeners. I can tell because it's got grass clipping s it. Now the big black turd coming into view now is from my wife". The mayor is incredulous. "Pete, I can understand the logic behind the gardener and the carpenter, but how the hell do you know thatthat turd out of all the millions of turds in the sewer is from your wife?" "Ahh, it's got me lunch tied to it."
Silly Allobosca 🥈 🥇 🥈 (907) · 09-05-2026 1525I decided to write my 2025 Diary with invisible ink. When I went to look back through it on New Year's Eve,I discovered the pen had run dry on the 3rd of January.
Silly Squeaky 🥉 (807) · 03-05-2026 0835Whilst I was heading home from the pub the woman in front of me started walking a bit faster, so I walked a bit faster. She started to run so I started running. Then she started screaming so I started screaming. I never did find out what was chasing us.
Silly Stallion 🥇 🥉 🥇 (1185) · 29-05-2026 1305A friend of mine is a real grammar-Nazi. He had become upset after receiving a succession of poorly worded, badly spelled texts. I comforted him by giving him a hug, patting him on the back and saying "Their they're there."
Silly DdraigGoch (288) · 29-05-2026 0906I took my elderly sick German shepherd dog to the veterinarian and told him "Unfortunately, it's come to that time Doctor Smith, I need you to put my Max down." The vet looked into my old dog's bloodshot eyes and said "Max, you're fat, leaky, you have wonky ears and your breath stinks of shit!"
Silly DdraigGoch (288) · 28-05-2026 1939A man and his wife are woken at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud knocking on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a stranger is standing in the pouring rain. "Excuse me mate", he asks, "I'm sorry to disturb you, but I don't suppose you could help me out - I need a push! "Not a chance," says the husband, "it's 3 o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember, about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man does as he is told, puts a coat over his dressing gown, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes" comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing!" he replies.
Silly Allobosca 🥈 🥇 🥈 (907) · 16-05-2026 1834Little girl to her Mum "Mummy, Jimmy next doors' willy is like a peanut" "Because it's small?" "No, because it's salty!!"
Silly Allobosca 🥈 🥇 🥈 (907) · 04-05-2026 2250There once was a vampire called Mabel Who's periods were really quite stable Every full moon She'd get out a spoon And drink herself under the table
Silly Allobosca 🥈 🥇 🥈 (907) · 02-05-2026 2016