As my wife lay in the coma the doctors approached the life support machine. "No, no, please," I sobbed, "just a little while longer. ' But my pleading didn't help. They woke her up.
Wife Kimjongreject (286) · 19-02-2026 1053My wife says and does the nicest things. Just this morning she said, "I'm taking the kids and leaving you."
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 18-01-2026 1000I met my wife when we both worked at the abattoir. She was stunning.
Wife garry6291 (350) · 15-03-2026 1150When my wife saw my face, after all this time, she burst into tears. It was then that she realised... Witness Protection is a joke.
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 25-01-2026 0953"Do you think I'm sexy with lingerie on or completely naked?," asked my wife. "No," I replied.
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 28-12-2025 1316My missus has just told me that shaving takes the weight off my face. So I suggested she shave her arse.
Wife Kimjongreject (286) · 11-12-2025 1949I went to the mortuary to identify my wife's body. When they removed the sheet I started sobbing uncontrollably. It wasn't her.
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 03-04-2026 0809just bought a new present for my wife that i think might liven her up a bit in the bed. Its a defibrillator.
Wife garry6291 (350) · 19-03-2026 0854I found a lump underneath my wife's breast. Nothing to worry about, it was just her kneecap.
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 21-02-2026 1501I went to visit my wife in hospital and took her flowers. My girlfriend will love them.
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 14-02-2026 1600My wife makes my heart skip a beat every time I see her. Wish I'd never bought her that Tazer to be honest.
Wife Kimjongreject (286) · 19-12-2025 1954My wife asks me, "What do you like most about me, my pretty face, or my sexy body?" I looked at her and said, "I like your sense of humour!"
Wife Allobosca 🥇 🥇 (479) · 19-12-2025 1529"Do you remember that row twenty years ago when we sat down and wrote down each others faults?" I said to my wife. "Oh God yes, I still have mine somewhere, " she said with a giggle. "I've finished, " I replied.
Wife Kimjongreject (286) · 15-12-2025 1000I got up this morning and my wife was sat under the tree stark naked with her legs wide open, "Come get your Christmas present, " she said. "Can you take it back tomorrow and get me a smaller size?" I asked.
Wife Kimjongreject (286) · 15-12-2025 0958My wife really knows how to show me a good time. She often points at people and says, "Look, they're having a good time."
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 02-04-2026 0603You can tell the days are getting longer. It's half past 6 and I can still see how ugly the wife is.
Wife Gungho_ED (104) · 22-03-2026 1815My wife has left me because i'm so insecure. Hang on,,,she's back now....she was making a cup of tea.
Wife garry6291 (350) · 13-02-2026 1806Honestly, I got my wife a personalised number plate for her birthday which she had kept hinting at and still she's not happy with it. F4 TTY.
Wife Kimjongreject (286) · 30-01-2026 0743My wife and I got divorced because we wanted different things in our marriage. She wanted me to drink less.Spend more time as a family.Tidy the garden and do all the odd jobs round the house. I wanted to fuck other women.
Wife Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 20-04-2026 0934My friend's wife got the car in the divorce so he said he had to rent one. "Hertz?" I asked. "It sure does." he said with a tear in his eye.
Wife ianwatkins 🥈 (695) · 28-01-2026 0027Girlfriend: "Hold me, wrap your arms around me and never let me go." Wife: "Your knee is on my side of the fucking bed again!"
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 19-01-2026 1747I came home to find my wife on her hands and knees. "What's wrong?," I asked. "I've got chest pains," she replied. "You're kneeling on your tits," I said.
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 03-01-2026 1010My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish everything I start. So far today, I’ve finished a bag of chips, a bottle of gin, and my marriage. I feel lighter already
Wife supergalley 🥈 (169) · 30-12-2025 1716My son has the same colour eyes as my wife. Neither of them have learnt to duck when they piss me off.
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 06-12-2025 1930By the end of it, I get really sick of seeing my wife's face light up all over Christmas. Fat cow is always opening in the fridge door.
Wife Gungho_ED (104) · 10-12-2025 1739My wife as looking at an evening dress in an expensive shop, "It's beautiful, isn't it?" she said. "Yes, " I replied, "I wonder if they have it in your shape. "
Wife Kimjongreject (286) · 05-12-2025 1357Why are women like washing machines? They both leak when they're fucked.
Wife Allobosca 🥇 🥇 (479) · 27-04-2026 01197 pints, 2 joints and half a Viagra. I'm feeling manly and walking out of the bedroom to wash my knob in the sink. "Can you paint the bedroom ceiling this weekend?" was not the first words I was expecting to hear the wife say when I ran the tap
Wife Gungho_ED (104) · 18-02-2026 2057My missus said I was unromantic because I never wrote her a love letter...so I soon put that right. I love doggies I love bacon I love beer I love brandy I love guitars. I love football I love motorbikes I love computers I love chocolate I love walking I love chips You say I never wrote you a love letter. There you go!
Wife Kimjongreject (286) · 17-02-2026 0902Women eh, the wife's running round like a scalded cat that she's late for her first weight watchers meeting, I only mentioned that it wouldn't matter as she was twenty years late already. Sent from A&E Rochdale. Not many stitches needed this time.
Wife Kimjongreject (286) · 30-01-2026 1006If your wife's mother just died, how long should you console her for? It's just that my chips are getting cold.
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 07-12-2025 1253The wife asked me what I had bought her mother for her birthday. I told her I’d made her a booby trapped flashbang grenade. The wife said that she would hate it, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it!
Wife supergalley 🥈 (169) · 01-12-2025 0729