My wife says and does the nicest things. Just this morning she said, "I'm taking the kids and leaving you."
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥉 (447) · 18-01-2026 1000When my wife saw my face, after all this time, she burst into tears. It was then that she realised... Witness Protection is a joke.
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥉 (447) · 25-01-2026 0953"Do you think I'm sexy with lingerie on or completely naked?," asked my wife. "No," I replied.
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥉 (447) · 28-12-2025 1316My missus has just told me that shaving takes the weight off my face. So I suggested she shave her arse.
Wife Kimjongreject (216) · 11-12-2025 1949My wife makes my heart skip a beat every time I see her. Wish I'd never bought her that Tazer to be honest.
Wife Kimjongreject (216) · 19-12-2025 1954My wife asks me, "What do you like most about me, my pretty face, or my sexy body?" I looked at her and said, "I like your sense of humour!"
Wife Allobosca (52) · 19-12-2025 1529"Do you remember that row twenty years ago when we sat down and wrote down each others faults?" I said to my wife. "Oh God yes, I still have mine somewhere, " she said with a giggle. "I've finished, " I replied.
Wife Kimjongreject (216) · 15-12-2025 1000I got up this morning and my wife was sat under the tree stark naked with her legs wide open, "Come get your Christmas present, " she said. "Can you take it back tomorrow and get me a smaller size?" I asked.
Wife Kimjongreject (216) · 15-12-2025 0958Honestly, I got my wife a personalised number plate for her birthday which she had kept hinting at and still she's not happy with it. F4 TTY.
Wife Kimjongreject (216) · 30-01-2026 0743My friend's wife got the car in the divorce so he said he had to rent one. "Hertz?" I asked. "It sure does." he said with a tear in his eye.
Wife ianwatkins 🥈 🥈 (549) · 28-01-2026 0027Girlfriend: "Hold me, wrap your arms around me and never let me go." Wife: "Your knee is on my side of the fucking bed again!"
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥉 (447) · 19-01-2026 1747I came home to find my wife on her hands and knees. "What's wrong?," I asked. "I've got chest pains," she replied. "You're kneeling on your tits," I said.
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥉 (447) · 03-01-2026 1010My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish everything I start. So far today, I’ve finished a bag of chips, a bottle of gin, and my marriage. I feel lighter already
Wife supergalley 🥇 🥇 🥇 (626) · 30-12-2025 1716My son has the same colour eyes as my wife. Neither of them have learnt to duck when they piss me off.
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥉 (447) · 06-12-2025 1930By the end of it, I get really sick of seeing my wife's face light up all over Christmas. Fat cow is always opening in the fridge door.
Wife Gungho_ED (65) · 10-12-2025 1739My wife as looking at an evening dress in an expensive shop, "It's beautiful, isn't it?" she said. "Yes, " I replied, "I wonder if they have it in your shape. "
Wife Kimjongreject (216) · 05-12-2025 1357Women eh, the wife's running round like a scalded cat that she's late for her first weight watchers meeting, I only mentioned that it wouldn't matter as she was twenty years late already. Sent from A&E Rochdale. Not many stitches needed this time.
Wife Kimjongreject (216) · 30-01-2026 1006If your wife's mother just died, how long should you console her for? It's just that my chips are getting cold.
Wife Stallion 🥉 🥉 (447) · 07-12-2025 1253The wife asked me what I had bought her mother for her birthday. I told her I’d made her a booby trapped flashbang grenade. The wife said that she would hate it, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it!
Wife supergalley 🥇 🥇 🥇 (626) · 01-12-2025 0729