How many beads and of what colour should we offer as reparations?

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It's my black stepson's birthday tomorrow. I've left an extra £20 in my jacket pocket for him.

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There are so many niggers working in my local McDonalds they should call it Trevor McDonalds

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Apparently Netflix are making a documentary about Isaac Newton and the actor will be black. I hope they change the apple to a banana .

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Just saw someone post, "You can't beat a Chinese." Well yeah, obviously. That would be a racially aggravated assault.

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Two Irishmen in a bar. The barman walks up to them and says youre not allowed to eat your own food in here. So they swapped sandwiches.

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Should Britain make reparations for slavery? Well, we never should have got involved in such a sordid enterprise in the first place. All those slaves should have been emancipated and sent back home to Africa. So I propose we do the next best thing, and send all their descendants back.

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Signs suggest Thomas Markle Sr may be ‘sex offender of the grossest kind’, says Philippine minister. Well, he did impregnate a darkie...

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When I was a boy my mum would give me £1...and I'd come back with a black eye & fuck all cos we grew up in Brixton

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Following an amputation, my neighbour Leroy only has one hand. He's dealing with it.

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I was quite surprised back in 2018 when Winnie Mandela bought the farm. I thought she'd just have seized it from its rightful white owner.

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Some people were surprised when a black man won the Tour De France. They didn't realise that the bike was stolen.

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Why aren't British schoolkids revolting like their French counterparts? I'm gonna say daily showering and not eating garlic snails.

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When my Muslim girlfriend broke up with me outside the Notre Dame, she said, "Don't be upset, we will always have Paris" Fuck me, she weren't fucking wrong

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Just to be clear I am only joking when I pretend to like the Nazis, I am actually quite left wing. I've started a petition to get Walkers to rename their crisps Salt and Vi-N-Word.

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I hate governments who decide to keep their overseas relief budget for themselves They've all been drinking the coon aid

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I saw a tin of Turkish delight on sale in the supermarket. 'Hand-made in Turkey' it said on the label. Because apparently it's a major selling point that ten minutes before he made your Turkish delight, the bloke in the factory was wiping the shit out of his sweaty arsecrack with his bare hand.

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Hackers target fridges in French supermarkets in ‘unprecedented’ cyberattack to spoil food. You can't 'spoil' French food, it's already fucking gross.

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Article in the Guardian: Has the climate crisis made California too dangerous to live in? Erm, no, I'm pretty sure that was the coons.

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Paddy: Haven't seen you for a while Mick. Mick: I fell down the stairs and broke three legs. Paddy: But you've only got two legs. Mick: I was carrying the dog at the time.

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We just started a game of Monopoly, and Jamal managed to find a way to end up in jail before we even passed Go. Some things never change.

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Despite his recent scandals, Nigel Farage still has odds of 9/2 to be the next British Prime Minister. A one-nutted right-wing populist, what could possibly go wrong?

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What is the busiest road in every black neighbourhood? "KFC Drive-Thru"

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Teacher: "Now kids, who can name every London Underground station??" Little Jonny: "Yes Miss. The floor is sticky, there's gonna be several tramps stinking of piss in the gangways. The toilets are always full of bangers & mash. The trains are usually late and the brown people on the platforms outnumber the whites by ten to one"

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What do you call a black kid with a shovel? About two hundred quid

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London: Oxford Street pedestrianisation debut encounters unexpected violence. Well, Sadiq Khan did say it would be just like Times Square in New York. Job done!

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Its my black stepsons birthday tomorrow, so I. You know what we all know this is a lie, I would never marry a woman who shags niggers

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The whole world is watching the Russell Brand trial, especially in South Korea where his name sounds like their tea didn't taste of much

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What do you call an Indian date-raping baker? Sliptitinder I Singh

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Jim Davidson, 72, dating Simon Cowell's ex weeks after calling off sixth wedding. Wonder if it's Sinitta?

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I fucking hate going clothes shopping in London Every time I look at a pair the assistant comes up to me and says "These are LEVI'S jeans" I retreat immediately and whimper, "That's cool, I believe him"

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Christ I've just heard about ithe world's unluckiest black footballer He did his fucking ACL taking the knee

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