Two old ladies are having a cigarette outside the old folks home, and it starts to rain. One of them suddenly pulls a condom out of her handbag, unravels it and puts it over the cig so it doesn't get wet "ooh what's that Betty" the other asks "It's called a condom, they sell them at the chemists dear" she answers so the other goes to the chemists and, when asked for a condom by such an elderly lady and seeing an opportunity for mirth the young oiik behind the counter smirks and asks "so what would you like, a ribbed one, a French tickler, flavoured? Etc. "Oh I don't mind dear as long as it fits a camel!"