A rich woman has been lonely all her life; so puts an ad in a Lonely Hearts column saying, "Lovely gentleman wanted - to share life, love and fortune with. Conditions: 1) Won't beat me up 2) Won't run away 3) Good in bed." Predictably she gets hundreds of offers, but none are suitable. Eventually she answers her doorbell to see a man with no arms and no legs. "Who are you?" asks she. "I'm your dream husband!" replies he, "I've got no arms so I can't beat you up and no legs so I can't run away." "Are you good in bed?" "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"