A rich woman has been lonely all her life, so puts an ad in a Lonely Hearts column, saying "lovely gentleman wanted to share life, love and fortune with. Conditions: 1) won't beat me up, 2) won't run away, 3) good in bed." Predictably, she gets hundreds of offers, but none are suitable. Eventually she answers her doorbell to see a man with no arms and no legs. "Who are you?" asks she. "I'm your dream husband!" replies he, "I've got no arms so I can't beat you up, and no legs so I can't run away." "Are you good in bed?" "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"