My mate died in an accident with a cement lorry. There's already a statue of him.
Accidents/Injuries › Workplace Accident Workplace Accident supergalley 🥇 (2032) · 06-09-2026 0908It will take some effort to get the coffin lid down.
The families of the five pikeys killed in the A66 crash have gathered at the scene of the accident, to see if there's any scrap metal still lying around.
Gypsies › Scrap Metal Scrap Metal theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥇 (3362) · 25-08-2026 1745Congratulations to Bonnie Blue on this big milestone… First time she’s had to guide someone OUT of her minge.
Sex n Shit Cockwomble (156) · 10-09-2026 112829 years on, and I can still remember where I was and what I was doing when I heard Diana was dead. I was at the all-night panel beaters in Paris, getting my white Fiat Uno fixed.
Celebrity Death › Car Crash Celebs Car Crash Celebs theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥇 (3362) · 31-08-2026 1112What's the difference between a black woman from the 1800s and a black woman today.. The type of lashes they get.
Racist Pasty (48) · 28-08-2026 0552My kids are scared of flies. They always start to cry when I unzip mine.
Of course black lives matter. A dead slave is useless.
Racist › KKK Energy KKK Energy innit 🥉 🥉 (939) · 20-09-2026 0453If Adam and Eve had been Chinese... they would have eaten the snake.
Religion Squeaky (1929) · 03-09-2026 0802I must have really pissed off the wife when we had a go at erotic asphyxiation. She's been lying there for five days now,giving me the silent treatment.
Sex n Shit Squeaky (1929) · 31-08-2026 0805What's bitter, smells of onions and comes in a curry sauce? That Deliveroo driver you didn't tip.
What's better than 2 dead coppers? 5 dead pikeys.
Gypsies › Police Raid Police Raid theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥇 (3362) · 23-08-2026 2221Definition of Obscenity: Anything that gives the judge an erection.
Sex n Shit innit 🥉 🥉 (939) · 10-09-2026 0938My brother and his family are moving to Glasgow. Well I'll be a junkie's uncle!
Alcohol/Drugs theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥇 (3362) · 29-08-2026 1555A lot of actors are really worried that in the future, they will be replaced in films by AI avatars, but many directors say that AI will never be able to do what real Hollywood stars do. I mean, how could a computer suck Harvey Weinstein's cock?
Hollywood › Casting Couch Casting Couch Hengist (858) · 20-09-2026 1650When I was a kid my best friend was black.We used to play together all the time. Then my father sold him.
Racist › Colonial Hangover Colonial Hangover Squeaky (1929) · 01-09-2026 0801Remember this day 29 years ago? Princess Diana was all over the radio. And the dashboard, and the glovebox...
Cleveland Police. Tackling crime head on.
Motoring › Boy Racer Boy Racer scotty (547) · 24-08-2026 1936I work for an organization that hands out clothes to the poor and disadvantaged. Primark
Work/Workplace › Minimum Wage Minimum Wage Stickyagain (2066) · 23-08-2026 1334One of the barmaids in our pub got her nipple pierced. I'm shit at darts.
General Squeaky (1929) · 18-09-2026 0821I went to lunch with a champion chess player. It took him 8 minutes to pass me the salt...
General Stickyagain (2066) · 14-09-2026 1350Lindsay Clancy blaming her hormones for murdering her children is like me blaming testosterone for raping mine.
Crime innit 🥉 🥉 (939) · 05-09-2026 0150My wife suggested I take the kids skimming down the river. The 2-yr-old went the furthest.
Age/Elderly garry6291 (641) · 28-08-2026 1049I'm not saying Pakis smell bad, but I spoke to one over an hour ago and I'm still gagging. And that was on the phone.
Pakistani theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥇 (3362) · 27-08-2026 1803It must be great being a necrophiliac. You can just go straight up to someone and tell them you fancy them rotten.
Sex n Shit theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥇 (3362) · 27-08-2026 1544How can you tell when you are a good rapist? When she gets on top halfway through Credit, the old wiki site , in pre insect days
Which word ends in anal? Chloroform.
The family of the ‘Putney Pusher’ maintain he was totally innocent and was thrown under a bus by the Met police.
Death › Sudden Death Sudden Death SatansTesticles (23) · 17-09-2026 1631Michael Owen "never ever" tells his children he loves them. That must make the sex awkward.
Celebrities › Sports Celebs Sports Celebs ianwatkins 🥈 🥉 (2117) · 05-09-2026 1359I was on holiday with my Mrs, we were sat on the beach and all the other women were topless. I said "why don't you take your bikini top off?" She said "I feel self conscious" She finally did and said "how do I look?" I said "great" she said "really?" I said "yeah, it's pulled all the wrinkles out of your face "
Wife Stickyagain (2066) · 05-09-2026 1231I came home last night and said to my wife "are you wearing knickers?" She said "no" I said "thank fuck, I thought the sofa cushion had split"
Pervert psycho breaks into a laundry fucks 2 women and runs off. Headline. Nut screws washers and bolts
Wordplay › Puns Puns Gingerpubes (269) · 30-08-2026 1544I've just finished walking from Land's End to John O'Groats. It was either that or fly with Ryanair.
Aviation › Ryanair / Budget Airline Ryanair / Budget Airline theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥇 (3362) · 30-08-2026 1323How can you make cot death less distressing? Dress the baby in a clown's outfit.
Death › Sudden Death Sudden Death Squeaky (1929) · 30-08-2026 0740A black man walks into a petrol station and says, 'Give me all the money in the till, or I'll blow you away!' The cashier replies, 'But you haven't got a gun!' He says, 'Sorry, force of habit. Pump number four, please.'
Racist › Colourist Jokes Colourist Jokes theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥇 (3362) · 28-08-2026 1444My best friend's wife died after being hit by a car. He asked me if I would say a few words at her funeral. ' Stop,Look and Listen, ' didn't go down very well.
Accidents/Injuries › Car Crash Car Crash Squeaky (1929) · 28-08-2026 0741I met this girl in a club and she was all over me, she whispered in my ear "I want you to fuck me me really badly" She wasn't disappointed.
Sex n Shit Stickyagain (2066) · 27-08-2026 1849Residents in Bradford who are being kept awake at night by fireworks set off by the city's Asian community have launched a petition asking the government to ban them. I signed it enthusiastically but then I realised they meant the fireworks.
Pakistani Hengist (858) · 27-08-2026 1230My last girlfriend dumped me when she found out what my mates used to call me in primary school. Jon Venables. (credit: Barry Martin)
Crime theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥇 (3362) · 14-09-2026 1619I've been trying to come up with a joke about niggers. None of them work.
Racist › Classic Stereotypes Classic Stereotypes Squeaky (1929) · 14-09-2026 0722I got back to my mates flat last night after a session. In his hall he had a huge gong. "what's that?" I asked He said "it's a speaking clock" "how does it work" I asked He picked up a hammer and hit it, two seconds later a voice came through the wall and shouted "for fuck sake it's half past two in the morning!"
Alcohol/Drugs Stickyagain (2066) · 11-09-2026 170125 years on, and I can still remember where I was and what I was doing when the Twin Towers collapsed. Sitting in front of the telly, making jokes about the Twin Towers collapsing.
Dark › Genocide Punchline Genocide Punchline theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥇 (3362) · 11-09-2026 1015A young boy sat outside his house looking forlorn. A neighbour asked him "what's wrong Johnny"? Little Johnny said "the police have informed me both my parents are dead" "Oh thats terrible" said the neighbour. "Shall I fetch Father O'Neil?" "No thanks. I don't feel like sex right now"
Religion › Catholic Guilt Catholic Guilt Gingerpubes (269) · 07-09-2026 1142Two cops walk up to a group of five Pakis. "We're looking for a paedophile gang..." One of the Pakis replies "We'll do it!"
Muslim innit 🥉 🥉 (939) · 05-09-2026 0954Took the wife to Specsavers yesterday. Even they couldn't see why I married her.
General Squeaky (1929) · 05-09-2026 0822If Adam & Eve were American... They'd have been fine cos there's no way Adam would've been tempted to eat a piece of fresh fruit
Fat / Obesity LennysCrevasse (1333) · 04-09-2026 1209After thirty years, police have finally identified the man they believe killed Tupac Shakur, based on a memoir he wrote and numerous TV interviews in which he repeatedly boasted of being the perpetrator. Professor Jason Arday.
Crime Hengist (858) · 01-09-2026 1750The weather is very muggy today. Very appropriate for the Notting Hill Carnival.
Racist › Classic Stereotypes Classic Stereotypes ianwatkins 🥈 🥉 (2117) · 30-08-2026 1604"What we know about the 33 British nationals missing in Nepal" They're all dead and their lungs are full of mud?
In The News › Weather Extreme Weather Extreme ianwatkins 🥈 🥉 (2117) · 28-08-2026 1739So, come up to the lab... And see what's on the slab. Oh, it's me. RIP Frank Furter.
Celebrity Death scotty (547) · 26-08-2026 1716