My neighbours 12 year old daughter asked me round to help with a computer problem. "Mum and Dad are at work," she explained, "and I'm trying to install this software. But it keeps saying I need to disable my Virgin Security." "If your parents are out," I said, unbuckling my belt, "then you've already done that.
I had to buy a new bed cos me and my girlfriend broke it with all the shagging. Just kidding, the truth is she broke it jumping on it. You know what kids are like.
Pedophile ianwatkins 🥉 (2409) · 29-10-2026 2222Walking in the park the other day, I was nearly knocked off my feet when a couple of little girls came running round the corner. Their mother smiled and shrugged and said, 'Sorry about that! Can't take your eyes off them for a second, can you?' 'No. No, I can't,' I replied.
Pedophile theverydevilhimself 🥇 🥈 🥇 (4288) · 10-10-2026 0941I fucking hate Halloween I put a bucket of sweets outside the door to entice the kids and all they do is take them and fuck off
Pedophile LennysCrevasse 🥉 (1805) · 21-10-2026 1932I can't wait for Hallowe'en, me and my friends always get the kids together and put the willies up them.
Pedophile › Family Friend Family Friend ianwatkins 🥉 (2409) · 21-10-2026 1848My wife and I share three wonderful children. I just hope none of them dob us in.
Pedophile theverydevilhimself 🥇 🥈 🥇 (4288) · 05-11-2026 1831What's Roman Polanski's favourite whisky? SHE VAS LEGAL!
Pedophile › Celebrity Pedo Celebrity Pedo theverydevilhimself 🥇 🥈 🥇 (4288) · 05-11-2026 2200When I leave the pub early because I have a twelve year old waiting on me. They always assume I'm a parent.
Pedophile Squeaky (2363) · 01-11-2026 0842'...Despite living overseas, I admit I'm a bit of an Anglophile. That's not the same as a paedophile. It means I only touch up Fishermen's kids.'
Pedophile monkeybobhouse (200) · 10-10-2026 1222Why did Huw Edwards go Trick or Treating? Cos he's a filthy shit cunt nonce
Pedophile LennysCrevasse 🥉 (1805) · 03-11-2026 1546Netflix special coming soon narrated by Megan Markle. When Andy met Tommy
Pedophile › Celebrity Pedo Celebrity Pedo NotEasilyOffended (106) · 25-10-2026 1112