I saw my mate who has no legs yesterday waiting at the bus stop. I said "alright Dave , how are you getting on?"
My friend from America is visiting me and he told me that he done a good deed today by holding an elevator door open for a spastic. I told him that kind of talk is not welcome in this country. In England we call them lifts.
Disability Joeydeaconsbastard (1000) · 16-07-2026 1919I'm really good at my job weeding out fraudsters at the benefit office. Just yesterday this woman came in with her son, who was in a wheelchair. "He can't walk. He needs to be spoon-fed. I need help getting him in and out the shower..." she said. I looked at the boy skeptically and made a few notes. "How old is he?" I asked her, smiling reasuringly. "He's nine," the woman said. "And he is incapable of moving independently?" I asked, scribbling in my notebook. "He has severely impaired motor-skills which mean he finds it impossible to perform tasks like dressing or eating by himself. He needs full-time care." "I see," I said, examining the boy from different angles and continuing to take notes. "And is his condition neurological or is it a muscular degenerative condition?" "He has cerebral palsey so it is neurological," his mother replied. I nodded. "And has his condition manifested recently or has he always been a retard?" I asked. "My son is not a retard!" the woman shouted furiously. "I fucking knew it!" I said.
Disability Hengist (473) · 19-07-2026 0712Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some chips and sweeties. Jack can't keep his cholesterol down and Jill's got diabetes
My wife does NOT have Tourettes, I really am a fucking cunt.
Disability Stickyagain 🥈 (1380) · 19-07-2026 1304My doctor said I don't eat enough vegetables. So I've started dating a spastic girl who loves oral sex.
Disability notbaldbob (1172) · 24-07-2026 0537I once had an overactive dog that kept jumping up on people. So I named him "Syndrome".
Disability OkiPaul (142) · 23-07-2026 0354I farted on the bus the other day, it was just like being on "the voice" four people span round and stared at me.
Disability Stickyagain 🥈 (1380) · 05-08-2026 1909My mate who has Tourettes has just bought a new car. I asked him if he bought it outright, but he said he got it on tick.
Disability Stickyagain 🥈 (1380) · 25-07-2026 1903How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightyear?
It's.getting daft now with this ultra-PC woke bullshit - you can't even say "shortbread" You have to say, "Please stick a couple of slices in Warwick. If you can reach the toaster"
Disability LennysCrevasse (693) · 02-08-2026 1605Carlsberg don't do anterograde amnesia, but if they did.... Carlsberg don't do anterograde amnesia
Disability LennysCrevasse (693) · 30-07-2026 1710Stephen Hawking was very competent in his field, notwithstanding
Disability LennysCrevasse (693) · 23-07-2026 1127A man without any legs got on our bus yesterday. The driver put him off for standing on the seats.
Disability Squeaky (1465) · 27-07-2026 0719I wish my parents would have added some nepo to the tism they gave me.
Disability innit (580) · 11-07-2026 1337What's black, crusty, and sits at the top of a flight of stairs? A wheelchair user after a fire.
Disability Allobosca 🥇 (2375) · 09-07-2026 0648My nan thought she'd found a lump in her breast. Turned out to be her knee.
Disability Stickyagain 🥈 (1380) · 24-07-2026 1415