We call my grandad "Spiderman" he hasn't got any special powers, he just can't get out of the bath.
Disability Stickyagain 🥉 (541) · 11-06-2026 2011I tried to get into a support group for people with Tourette's Syndrome, but they told me to fuck off.
Disability theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥈 (1063) · 07-06-2026 1235I bought a pair of epileptic trousers. I had to take them back as they didn't fit.
Disability Stickyagain 🥉 (541) · 07-06-2026 1000My son's special school threw him a party today for his birthday. Many happy retards!
Disability theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥈 (1063) · 11-06-2026 0617How many spastics does it take to change a lightbulb? Fuck knows. The first one smashed it on his forehead.
Disability theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥈 (1063) · 08-06-2026 0543Why don't blind people skydive? Because it scares the shit out of the dog.
Disability Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 17-06-2026 2239A dyslexic mate of mine joined a poetry club, as he thought it might help with his condition. I've never heard him come out with any poems yet, but he's made some pretty nice jugs and vases and stuff.
Disability theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥈 (1063) · 10-06-2026 0453This bloke asked me to take part in a charity run, so I said "piss off, no chance" and he said "arr, go on mate it's for blind and spastic kids", and I thought Fuck it, I could win this...
Disability Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 08-06-2026 2228I use dating sites to find girls with Down Syndrome, so I can sexually exploit them. Or as I call it, playing Poke A Mongo.
Disability theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥈 (1063) · 16-06-2026 1553I have one eye,no arms and a ten inch cock. I class myself as partially disabled.
Disability Squeaky (1031) · 06-06-2026 0924Old People An old lady is sitting in an old persons home looking out the window when an old man walks up to her and says "I know we can no longer take pleasure is sexual activities but could you come to the park with me and hold my penis?" Seeing no harm in this she agrees and it becomes a regular occourance. The same bench, the same day of the week. untill one day the old lady goes to their regualr spot and he isn't there. Slightly upset about this she goes looking for him. She gginds him sitting on a bench with another woman holding his penis! Distraught by this she goes up to him and shouts "What does she have that I don't?! He looks up smiling and says "Parkinsons".
Disability Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 23-06-2026 1631Two blokes in a ski resort, one of them is dyslexic. dyslexic: 'excuse me mate, when I come down the mountain, do I zag zig or zig zag?' bloke: 'dunno pal, I'm a tobogganist' dyslexic: fair enough mate, I'll have 20 Marlboro light!'
Disability Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 23-06-2026 1122Two Dyslexics sitting in a room. Dyslexic 1: Can you smell gas? Dyslexic 2: I can't even smell my own name!
Disability Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 21-06-2026 0824Little boy with no arms is sat at home when he hears an ice cream van go past. He rushes outside and joins the queue. When he reaches the front of the queue the ice cream man looks at him and says "Hello son, what flavour would you like". Little boy says "Doesn't fucking matter does it, I'm only going to drop it."
Disability Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 15-06-2026 1510It was early May and Timmy had been working with the blind people again, today's trip was a day out to the zoo. On the way back everyone had said what a lovely time they'd all had, and to round off the evening Timmy thought it would be nice to have a quick pint in the picturesque pub they we about to pass. Timmy drove the bus into the car park and told everyone to get out, he had a special football in the back of the bus he thought he'd get it out as this would keep everyone quiet whilst he enjoyed he cold pint of lager. He got the group together on the grass to the front of the pub gave them the ball and explained this was a special ball with bells in, all they had to do was to listen out for the bells and kick it. Timmy entered the pub and ordered a cold pint of lager from the stunning bar maid, he was drinking the pint trying to chat up the barmaid when someone burst in screaming "THERE IS A BUNCH OF ANIMALS OUTSIDE!", Timmy says "Animals? I have a group of blind people outside, I hope you are not referring to them" the man replies "They are animals, they're outside the front of the pub kicking the shit out of the Morris dancers!"
Disability Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 26-05-2026 2242What do you call a tetraplegic in a raging river? Bob
Disability Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 23-06-2026 1117I just watched a documentary all about Locked-In Syndrome It wasn't very moving
Disability LennysCrevasse (201) · 16-06-2026 1614"How is Louise doing?" my sister asked me, when we met up. "She is doing well," I said. "Still working at the mental health unit." "Mental health unit? I thought you said she worked on a farm?" "No, I didn't," I told her. "I said she worked with vegetables."
2 Dyslexics are on a skiing trip, when they begin to argue over whether they zig zag, or zag zig down the slopes. The argument rages all morning, and begins to get fairly heated, with the danger of it turning into a full on scrap. Then, suddenly, they spy a lone chap on the slope, and decide to ask him his opinion. One of the dyslexics asks him the question. He thinks for a moment, and then says "Well, really, you're asking the wrong guy.... you see I'm a tobogganist". Without a second thought, the second dyslexic blurts out: "I'll have 20 Embassy and a Daily Express then please....."
What do you have when an epileptic has a seizure in a cabbage patch? Seizure Salad.
Disability Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 08-06-2026 2230Warwick Davis came to me for some advice I told him a few gnome truths
Disability LennysCrevasse (201) · 04-06-2026 0836Two little boys went to knock for their friend Jim. "Hello, is Jim coming out to play?. We're playing war today!" "What do you mean? You know that Jim hasn't got any arms and legs!" "I know! We want to use him as a sandbag"
Disability Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 01-06-2026 2115Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess a snail makes!
Disability Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 31-05-2026 2259A blind guy walks past a fish market. Says "shit, girls, what am I doing in Hull?"
Disability Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 02-06-2026 2118What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The Wheelchair.
Disability Allobosca 🥇 🥇 🥇 (1829) · 25-05-2026 1913