| 19 |
30-08-2026 20:46 |
What's bitter, smells of onions and comes in a curry sauce?
That Deliveroo driv
|
| 18 |
13-08-2026 20:47 |
Temperatures are soaring in England, with many ponds and lakes expected to dry u
|
| 18 |
18-06-2026 18:09 |
And in animal news, a little boy has learned to be careful what he wishes for af
|
| 16 |
05-06-2026 12:06 |
'Teen rapists spared jail due to intellectual limitations'
Turns out the judg
|
| 15 |
27-08-2026 12:30 |
Residents in Bradford who are being kept awake at night by fireworks set off by
|
| 15 |
27-06-2026 18:02 |
Child killer Jamie Varley arrives for a meeting with his solicitor.
"It's bad n
|
| 14 |
01-09-2026 17:50 |
After thirty years, police have finally identified the man they believe killed T
|
| 14 |
16-07-2026 09:59 |
The British people who live on the Falkland Islands are an 'artificially transpl
|
| 13 |
01-09-2026 19:01 |
I was walking by the railway line the other day when I noticed a bright yellow p
|
| 13 |
21-08-2026 19:42 |
If you are ever stopped by a policeman while doing something you shouldn't, you
|
| 13 |
14-08-2026 17:36 |
Public transport is unbearable in this heat. The weather is so hot that some of
|
| 13 |
12-08-2026 19:37 |
The BBC is always very keen to cover important social issues like Black Lives Ma
|
| 13 |
20-07-2026 05:35 |
Massive congratulations to Andy Burnham who today takes office as Britain's last
|
| 13 |
02-07-2026 23:10 |
A Saudi judge is standing over a dozen condemned men in a prison courtyard.
"
|
| 13 |
09-06-2026 17:45 |
A foreign bloke is waiting in the immigration queue to get into Britain when a p
|
| 12 |
05-09-2026 21:55 |
The Labour MP for Dover has expressed his anger at large-scale masked protests a
|
| 12 |
03-09-2026 23:49 |
If Adam and Eve had been Albanian...
They would have tried to sneak back into
|
| 12 |
19-08-2026 21:04 |
Pure Cremation: Because your kids would rather spend your money on a new car any
|
| 12 |
18-08-2026 17:24 |
I always think it's weird that African-Americans are such fast runners.
I mea
|
| 12 |
14-08-2026 13:59 |
Got my new business idea:
It's an app that matches depressives who want to en
|
| 12 |
08-08-2026 16:32 |
Jason Arday, the Cambridge professor accused of plagiarism and fabricating numer
|
| 12 |
07-08-2026 22:39 |
It is terrible how much class snobbery affects the way different people are judg
|
| 12 |
19-06-2026 18:02 |
You wouldn't believe how much my boss moans about me using my phone at work.
|
| 12 |
07-06-2026 17:40 |
I'd never say that my sister's baby is ugly or anything...
...but let's just sa
|
| 11 |
06-09-2026 17:14 |
A Catholic bishop and his secretary are searching for a suitable headmaster for
|
| 11 |
21-07-2026 17:46 |
I must say I am a bit concerned about the rise in political violence in Britain.
|
| 11 |
15-07-2026 20:55 |
England's hopes sank fast in the match against Argentina...
...still, I can thi
|
| 11 |
14-07-2026 17:07 |
"Is that a metal pole in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"
- Anne
|
| 11 |
08-07-2026 16:50 |
Justice Secretary David Lammy has just announced that he has commuted the death
|
| 11 |
10-06-2026 17:41 |
Rioters in Belfast have attacked several Chinese restaurants in an orgy of wonto
|
| 10 |
18-08-2026 17:20 |
My siblings and I had a really rough day at the hospital today as our grandmothe
|
| 10 |
14-08-2026 20:32 |
Jason Arday, the Cambridge professor accused of plagiarism has been found dead.
|
| 10 |
19-07-2026 07:12 |
I'm really good at my job weeding out fraudsters at the benefit office.
Just ye
|
| 10 |
18-07-2026 22:44 |
A woman walks into a pharmacy.
"I have a headache," she says. "Do you have an
|
| 10 |
17-07-2026 07:04 |
There isn't much to be said for being a Russian infantyman but at least you're p
|
| 10 |
13-06-2026 07:05 |
My granddad downed nineteen aircraft during his military service in World War Tw
|
| 10 |
08-06-2026 18:54 |
Several women have made complaints against David Sullivan, saying that he demand
|
| 10 |
18-05-2026 23:23 |
A white man stumbles into the police station with a black eye.
"Officer, I'd li
|
| 10 |
17-05-2026 01:00 |
As Starmer's premiership collapses, several MPs have been desperately trying to
|
| 9 |
12-08-2026 10:28 |
Given a recent increase in rail suicides the government has announced that netwo
|
| 9 |
02-07-2026 22:31 |
I once knew a Muslim with a massive penis.
He was hung like a gay Iranian.
|
| 9 |
12-06-2026 20:41 |
Did you know that before they were famous, the members of Blondie all worked at
|
| 9 |
09-06-2026 18:22 |
The BBC recently covered a harrowing story about how many Afghans have been forc
|
| 9 |
17-05-2026 01:05 |
I tried to submit a joke about Madeleine McCann but it just disappeared.
|
| 8 |
28-08-2026 08:54 |
What's the difference between Chris Kaba and a doughnut?
The doughnut had a h
|
| 8 |
24-08-2026 09:52 |
Goblins, Grand Dragons, Imperial Wizards...
...isn't the Ku Klux Klan just Du
|
| 8 |
17-08-2026 21:01 |
'Mushroom Murderer Erin Patterson is Appealing'
I thought she looked like a r
|
| 8 |
30-07-2026 17:38 |
Did you hear about that gamekeeper who was found dead in the woods?
Police su
|
| 8 |
15-07-2026 20:13 |
"I've remortgaged the house and bet 100k on tonight's match."
"Do you think y
|
| 8 |
27-06-2026 07:17 |
My gay brother has lost six stone since he had the weight-loss jab.
Well, I say
|
| 8 |
12-06-2026 06:47 |
My granddad's nickname was also spiderman...
...that's what the local paper cal
|
| 8 |
11-06-2026 20:04 |
A woman is eagerly waiting for news about her son, who is taking his driving tes
|
| 8 |
11-06-2026 17:19 |
An Irish prison gang boss calls his enforcer, Big Seamus into his cell.
"Alright
|
| 8 |
11-06-2026 14:44 |
What do you call a Jewish detective?
Shylock Holmes
|
| 8 |
08-06-2026 07:21 |
I used to post a lot of jokes about the Moors Murderer's victims but they always
|
| 8 |
07-06-2026 08:43 |
I can't believe what just happened.
Some flash solicitor just turned up on my do
|
| 7 |
11-09-2026 06:39 |
I failed my Religious Studies exam.
Apparently the three holiest festivals in
|
| 7 |
09-09-2026 12:08 |
Despite numerous lucrative book deals and TV appearances, years of rampant spend
|
| 7 |
30-08-2026 16:37 |
Considering myself something of a social activist, I recently began a campaign a
|
| 7 |
22-08-2026 22:57 |
The government has responded to migrant sex crime in characteristically strong a
|
| 7 |
19-07-2026 18:21 |
A lot of people like to take the piss out of Kim Jong Un and his predecessors bu
|
| 6 |
09-09-2026 13:35 |
Anybody with a bit of time on their hands should consider volunteering at childl
|
| 6 |
26-08-2026 09:44 |
A recent survey has revealed how deeply ignorant the British public is regarding
|
| 6 |
16-08-2026 16:22 |
My father was a great scientist who pioneered the use of bleach injections as a
|
| 6 |
12-08-2026 18:50 |
Britain was today the setting of a spectacular cosmic drama as the sun's light w
|
| 6 |
06-07-2026 13:53 |
I was invited to an event hosted by the Nihilist's Club but I didn't think there
|
| 6 |
03-07-2026 21:07 |
A woman is crying in the staff room.
"What's wrong, Cheryl?" her friend asks.
|
| 6 |
21-06-2026 22:10 |
The Army have named a new autonomous weapon after Keir Starmer. They call it a n
|
| 6 |
13-06-2026 20:55 |
The wife and I went to Mumbai and stayed in a cheap hotel.
The place was an abs
|
| 6 |
07-06-2026 07:48 |
It really amazes me how uncaring and self-centered most people are these days.
|
| 6 |
05-06-2026 15:33 |
I asked my friend Abdul if he could get me a job interview for a teaching positi
|
| 6 |
17-05-2026 23:02 |
Several Royal Protection Officers are under investigation after falling asleep o
|
| 5 |
22-08-2026 20:12 |
People think I am a cheap, woman-hating scumbag but none of it's true.
I actu
|
| 5 |
22-08-2026 07:47 |
I thought that it was in rather bad taste when I learned that Auschwitz now has
|
| 5 |
08-07-2026 19:21 |
I had a job interview today.
"I am really looking forward to the opportunity to
|
| 5 |
07-07-2026 13:06 |
Donald Trump on the phone to Gianni Infantino:
"Look, I just need to find fiv
|
| 5 |
06-07-2026 14:25 |
Statistically four out of five people enjoy gang rape.
'Mr Hengist, for the l
|
| 5 |
08-06-2026 20:14 |
I was absolutely chuffed earlier when this woman told me she thought I had the a
|
| 5 |
05-06-2026 16:37 |
Britain has entered a state of national mourning following the news that our mos
|
| 5 |
24-05-2026 22:19 |
A stupid oversight cost me a hundred quid on a surefire bet yesterday when the p
|
| 5 |
24-05-2026 21:58 |
I went on a trip to America recently and decided to go on one of those historica
|
| 4 |
19-08-2026 20:47 |
Financial analysts warn that the price of balloons, bouncy castles and blow-up s
|
| 4 |
07-08-2026 20:12 |
A manhunt has been launched by police after serial child-rapist Cliff Lyons Dobb
|
| 4 |
28-06-2026 01:21 |
A Muslim immigrant is arguing with his daughter.
"My darling girl, you cannot
|
| 4 |
12-06-2026 21:00 |
"How is Louise doing?" my sister asked me, when we met up.
"She is doing well
|
| 4 |
12-06-2026 20:35 |
Apparently there is an epidemic of hidden cameras being concealed in hotel rooms
|
| 3 |
04-07-2026 10:50 |
"I'm thinking about trading in the old dishwasher for a newer model."
"What's
|
| 3 |
17-05-2026 22:09 |
If there is one thing about my parenting that I am proud of it is that I definit
|
| 2 |
22-06-2026 08:45 |
Online misinformation was spread recently that the Ukrainians who set fire to Ke
|
| 2 |
09-06-2026 18:07 |
I was just walking past the mental health unit when I heard all the patients sho
|
| 2 |
05-06-2026 16:51 |
"You remember nothing, Jon Snow."
|
