An Irish prison gang boss calls his enforcer, Big Seamus into his cell. "Alright, lad," he says. "That skinny fecker in 4B still owes me money and hasn't paid up so I want you to make an example of him." "What do you want me to do to him, boss?" says Big Seamus. The gang boss reaches up to a shelf, takes down two heavy tins of baked beans and gives them to his enforcer. "Put those in a pillowcase and then pummel his face with it until his own ma won't recognise him." Big Seamus leaves and comes back forty minutes later, exhausted and drenched in sweat. "Did yer batter him?" the boss asks. Big Seamus shakes his head. "He's tougher than he looks, boss," he says, panting with exertion. "I was beating him with the pillowcase for ages but he didn't even flinch! He just stood there fecking laughing at me!" The boss lets out a long sigh. "Seamus, yer fecking eejit," he says. "The beans were supposed to still be inside the tin."