I sleep better when I'm naked. I just wish the passengers on this flight were a bit more understanding.
Aviation shotgunpsycho (123) · 25-02-2026 2321An alien walks into a bar. He's 9 foot tall, bright green, silver suit, 28 tentacles, the whole shebang. Everyone's stunned into silence, however the landlord who's used to keeping his cool says, "Welcome stranger. Would you like a pint of bitter?" "No thank you," says the alien "I'm into Stella."
Aviation ianwatkins 🥈 (695) · 06-12-2025 1317I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane
Aviation supergalley 🥈 (169) · 02-12-2025 1303Need a laugh this morning Read this 😂😂😂😂 Air Traffic Control Gems Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10s o'clock, 6 miles..." Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!" TWA 2341, for noise abatement, turn right 45 degrees." "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?" O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 239 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound." United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight." A DC-10 had come in a little fast and thus had an exceedingly long rollout after touching down. San Jose Tower noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport." A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?" Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English. Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?" Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war." One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the Tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one." While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Fort. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with a United 727. An irate female ATC ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie Taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!" Continuing her rage at the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how tell you! You got that, US Air 2771 ? "Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance to engage the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn't I married to you once?"
Aviation supergalley 🥈 (169) · 26-04-2026 1020Whenever I asked my son what he wanted to do when he was older, he'd always say, "Fighter pilot!" On our holiday he was lucky to be invited into the cockpit. He's now also facing assault charges on the co-pilot and two cabin staff.
Aviation garry6291 (350) · 25-01-2026 1546My grandfather was a very brave man, he flew a Spitfire against the Germans. Meanwhile my grandmother got spitroasted by the Americans.
Aviation ianwatkins 🥈 (695) · 12-12-2025 1502