| 15 |
13-08-2026 10:16 |
I phoned my boss's mobile. "I'm on the train heading to the south coast now."
"
|
| 15 |
10-07-2026 09:13 |
I took a girl back to my flat.
"You haven't removed many bras have you?" she si
|
| 15 |
12-02-2026 19:43 |
I was showing my kids how to skim stones over water today but what a bunch of mi
|
| 14 |
30-07-2026 08:30 |
My wife went mental last night when i shouted out somebody else's name during se
|
| 14 |
14-05-2026 11:21 |
Got sacked from the zoo yesterday for leaving the lion's cage open.
Who the fuc
|
| 13 |
06-07-2026 08:17 |
I just tried to explain to my 4-year-old grandson that it's perfectly normal to
|
| 13 |
15-06-2026 08:16 |
I took a girl back to my house for sex last night.
After going upstairs, I slow
|
| 12 |
05-07-2026 18:14 |
I got stopped by customs at the airport.
"Is it ok to search your bags sir"?
"
|
| 12 |
14-01-2026 19:35 |
The school phoned me and said "Can you come down, your son has been telling lies
|
| 11 |
05-08-2026 15:55 |
"Grasshopper, when you can snatch the pebble from my hand, it will be time for y
|
| 11 |
06-12-2025 12:38 |
I took my son to see Santa today, but as soon as he sat on his knee he started c
|
| 10 |
19-07-2026 09:51 |
I was sat minding my own business when some girl comes up to me and says "Excus
|
| 10 |
25-06-2026 18:25 |
My mate has got hold of a load of designer bras, all different sizes.
If you se
|
| 10 |
08-06-2026 20:17 |
Just had a sage and onion enema.
I got to be honest,
It's knocked the stuffing
|
| 10 |
28-04-2026 13:39 |
Warning: This movie 'MAY' contain nudity?
Either it does or it doesn't, don't w
|
| 10 |
15-04-2026 09:23 |
My wife is leaving me and taking the kids because of my obsession with horse rac
|
| 10 |
15-03-2026 11:50 |
I met my wife when we both worked at the abattoir. She was stunning.
|
| 10 |
13-03-2026 15:49 |
Did you know that Kerry Katona doesn’t actually own a cat.
|
| 10 |
19-01-2026 21:31 |
Just about to watch Big Naughty Anal Sluts 3, but if I haven't seen the first tw
|
| 10 |
18-01-2026 15:07 |
I slept with my best friend's wife last night and now i feel terrible.
She must
|
| 10 |
06-12-2025 11:55 |
I saw a woman in Tesco struggling to control her kids. She looked really stresse
|
| 9 |
13-08-2026 20:50 |
My dyslexic mate said he can remember where he was when KFC was shot.
|
| 9 |
14-07-2026 20:46 |
Argentina have said that if England beat them in the World Cup, they will remove
|
| 9 |
17-04-2026 12:56 |
"Come in number 9 your time is up"
"Boss, we’ve only got 8 boats."
"No 6 are
|
| 9 |
01-04-2026 19:18 |
I remember when I was at school a policeman came in and did a talk on drugs.
We
|
| 9 |
21-02-2026 13:31 |
Don't get one of those rescue cats. My gran had one, she fell, and the cat just
|
| 9 |
12-02-2026 12:44 |
Sadly my obese parrot has died from over eating .
At least it's a huge weight o
|
| 8 |
27-07-2026 16:36 |
When I was a kid, my mother used to use Frank Sinatra records to get me to sleep
|
| 8 |
19-03-2026 08:54 |
just bought a new present for my wife that i think might liven her up a bit in
|
| 8 |
01-03-2026 16:33 |
I recently discovered that a man has been sending my wife sexy lingerie in the p
|
| 8 |
14-02-2026 20:07 |
Just received my Valentine's card off Moonpig.
She hates it when i call her tha
|
| 8 |
31-01-2026 09:55 |
Let's give this Dry January a go then.......
|
| 8 |
08-01-2026 18:21 |
I've been paying the Cat's Protection League every month for over three years.
|
| 7 |
18-08-2026 13:13 |
Paddy walked into the post office,
" Would you have a box 100 foot long by 2 in
|
| 7 |
06-08-2026 08:46 |
I met this really fit girl in the pub last night but I had to walk away when I r
|
| 7 |
24-07-2026 07:38 |
Had a worrying phone call from my mate earlier. He said his missus had left the
|
| 7 |
23-04-2026 14:26 |
The wife said she's had enough and wants us to try separate beds.
Hers will be
|
| 7 |
21-01-2026 19:30 |
What's rude and very aggressive?
Me you fat cunt
|
| 7 |
20-01-2026 13:59 |
The teacher called little Johnny to her desk and said, "The essay you wrote abou
|
| 6 |
13-05-2026 08:53 |
I was called a 'stupid reckless bastard' today.
I replied with, "Don't keep me
|
| 6 |
12-04-2026 16:07 |
My wife just screamed at me "i hope you are fucking happy now?"
I don't think s
|
| 6 |
09-03-2026 18:28 |
Was at the dentist today and it took almost an hour for me to be seen.
Why is t
|
| 6 |
06-03-2026 19:30 |
I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up h
|
| 6 |
06-02-2026 21:01 |
Annoy taxi drivers by ordering a taxi from a busy pub in the name of Spartacus.
|
| 6 |
24-01-2026 13:58 |
After years of not speaking to my neighbour thinking he was a bit of a twat, tur
|
| 6 |
16-01-2026 10:31 |
Poor Anne Frank,
She couldn't even put milk on her Rice Krispies.
|
| 6 |
15-01-2026 14:55 |
A bloke knocked my front door last night,
"You've left your lights on mate" he
|
| 6 |
14-01-2026 22:07 |
My wife left me today.
I'm gutted, I'd just bought a seesaw.
|
| 6 |
30-12-2025 19:48 |
Knowing there would be lots of kissing on New Years Eve, I decided to shave off
|
| 6 |
30-12-2025 09:19 |
For Sale:
Bottles of sauce.
HP available.
|
| 6 |
29-12-2025 19:42 |
I've been trying to find out from the wife all week how her treatment went for f
|
| 5 |
11-07-2026 20:33 |
In the pub quiz tonight, a question was ' What's white and sticky and better to
|
| 5 |
08-07-2026 20:19 |
I've designed a new Kings of Leon smoke alarm. Instead of just beeping it goes..
|
| 5 |
04-05-2026 12:36 |
Had a lovely day horseback riding yesterday, but then we run out of twenty pence
|
| 5 |
16-04-2026 15:24 |
"How long do cats usually sleep for?" I asked the vet over the phone.
"On avera
|
| 5 |
06-04-2026 17:09 |
I got my phone bill earlier and it came to over £200.
That's the last time I ri
|
| 5 |
04-04-2026 11:52 |
[Meme]
meme
|
| 5 |
03-04-2026 17:38 |
I hug my girlfriend really tight after sex.
That way she deflates much quicker.
|
| 5 |
13-02-2026 18:06 |
My wife has left me because i'm so insecure.
Hang on,,,she's back now....she wa
|
| 5 |
10-02-2026 19:44 |
My wife said she's leaving me because of my obsession with the Internet.
Worse
|
| 5 |
03-02-2026 17:56 |
I was an accountant from the age of twenty to the age of thirty before I was sac
|
| 5 |
21-01-2026 19:29 |
I was once bitten on the arse by a German Shepherd, but he apologised afterwards
|
| 5 |
16-01-2026 17:31 |
I keep having horrible nightmares about fruit machines.
My wife has been reall
|
| 5 |
09-01-2026 21:17 |
It wouldn't be Christmas without M&S.
No, it would be Chrita.
|
| 5 |
02-01-2026 20:16 |
Took my girlfriend to meet my parents last night.. The wife wasn't very happy th
|
| 5 |
02-01-2026 13:56 |
This dry January is getting really hard now.
|
| 5 |
30-12-2025 19:52 |
Father: Listen son, no matter what you hear or read, wanking will not make you g
|
| 5 |
22-12-2025 19:36 |
I made my wife go to a fancy dress party last night as an exhaust pipe.
She was
|
| 5 |
14-12-2025 15:32 |
My wife kicked me out last night for being drunk and "out of control."
Fucking
|
| 4 |
19-05-2026 08:18 |
Apparently over 60% of all hospital appointments are unnecessary. My gynaecologi
|
| 4 |
20-04-2026 12:09 |
I met this girl once and took her home to meet my dad. He whispered to me, "Wher
|
| 4 |
25-03-2026 17:51 |
Everyone remembers their first love and mine was Lucy.
We would go for long walk
|
| 4 |
22-03-2026 21:52 |
My wife got sacked from work and then lost her appeal.
I only found her appeali
|
| 4 |
12-02-2026 12:52 |
Single ladies...if you're hungry, or feeling a little insecure, I'm available on
|
| 4 |
09-02-2026 18:20 |
My wife says she wants our sex life to be like a fairytale.
So I've invited se
|
| 4 |
05-02-2026 11:23 |
I left a note on my neighbour's car last night asking him to stop parking outsid
|
| 4 |
25-01-2026 15:46 |
Whenever I asked my son what he wanted to do when he was older, he'd always say,
|
| 4 |
16-01-2026 17:35 |
Just come back from watching Little Women.
Very disappointing to be honest....
|
| 4 |
13-12-2025 15:18 |
I called my son's teacher this morning and said, "He won't be coming in today, h
|
| 3 |
20-03-2026 15:51 |
I broke down in tears of joy as all 6 of my lottery numbers were read out.
"Can
|
| 3 |
15-02-2026 13:56 |
A woman stopped me in the street this morning.
She said, "Do you know anything
|
| 3 |
03-01-2026 13:28 |
I was mugged last night by a boy with a knife.
The police think he was local as
|
| 2 |
30-12-2025 19:51 |
I've ate so much food over Christmas that i had to phone a midwife tonight to he
|
| 1 |
30-05-2026 17:05 |
8.25pm.
My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with Big Brother.
|
