The school phoned me and said "Can you come down, your son has been telling lies again" I said "Well tell him he's good, i haven't got any kids"
Adult garry6291 (244) · 14-01-2026 1935I saw a woman in Tesco struggling to control her kids. She looked really stressed. Then she accidently knocked over and smashed a bottle of milk. She dropped to her knees and burst into tears, surrounded by spilled milk. It reminded me of something my dad used to say to my mum, so I walked over to her and said; "Get a fucking grip, you stupid cow."
Adult garry6291 (244) · 06-12-2025 1155Nobody was interested in my carpentry class. Then I offered to teach them how to make glory holes. Now they're all coming out of the woodwork.
Adult ianwatkins 🥈 (602) · 17-12-2025 1605My wife left me today. I'm gutted, I'd just bought a seesaw.
Adult garry6291 (244) · 14-01-2026 2207Cars have too many gadgets these days. I was reversing my car and it started playing a video of someone getting run over by a car.
Adult shotgunpsycho (59) · 14-02-2026 2229My wife said she's leaving me because of my obsession with the Internet. Worse than that, my son Google agrees with her.
Adult garry6291 (244) · 10-02-2026 1944Annoy taxi drivers by ordering a taxi from a busy pub in the name of Spartacus.
Adult garry6291 (244) · 06-02-2026 2101I keep having horrible nightmares about fruit machines. My wife has been really supportive, she wakes me up with a nudge, and then she holds me.
Adult garry6291 (244) · 16-01-2026 1731My wife kicked me out last night for being drunk and "out of control." Fucking pathetic allowing women to be bouncers anyway.
Adult garry6291 (244) · 14-12-2025 1532My wife says she wants our sex life to be like a fairytale. So I've invited seven midgets to join in tonight
Adult garry6291 (244) · 09-02-2026 1820I was an accountant from the age of twenty to the age of thirty before I was sacked for no apparent reason. What a waste of fourteen years.
Adult garry6291 (244) · 03-02-2026 1756I was mugged last night by a boy with a knife. The police think he was local as the knife still had butter on it.
Adult garry6291 (244) · 03-01-2026 1328I've ate so much food over Christmas that i had to phone a midwife tonight to help me go to the toilet.
Adult garry6291 (244) · 30-12-2025 1951Why copy sickipedia, dude? You copycat. Create something original
Adult testlog (0) · 01-12-2025 1043