One of the guys I work with is a dwarf,and last week he got promoted to be assistant manager. Fucking hell,I thought,as if his head isn't big enough already.
General Squeaky (2363) · 28-10-2026 0905Saw the family across the road dressed as skeletons and thought they were having an early Halloween party. Then I remembered they were vegans.
General › Observational Observational Squeaky (2363) · 24-10-2026 0742Some mornings I wake up grumpy. Other mornings I leave her asleep.
General Squeaky (2363) · 12-10-2026 0740Can anyone help? I'm trying out a new recipe and need a guinea pig. Or a couple of squirrels would do at a pinch.
General › Random Nonsense Random Nonsense scotty (763) · 26-10-2026 1732I asked my GP if he could give me something for a migraine. He gave me a piece of paper that said, Sickipedia.net
General › Observational Observational Squeaky (2363) · 05-11-2026 0905I wouldn't say that our local pub was rough... but one of the spaces in the car park is reserved for ambulances.
General Squeaky (2363) · 21-10-2026 0728Got absolutely hammered last night and woke up this morning next to a big ,fat, ugly cunt that was snoring like an angry dog. I realised I'd made it home again.
General Squeaky (2363) · 10-10-2026 0719I've just read a book called "Fifty shades of gravy" It's very saucy
General Stickyagain (2257) · 05-11-2026 1720I've decided to take the wife out tonight. One bullet should be enough.
General Squeaky (2363) · 31-10-2026 0859Had an amazing time with my sexy new girlfriend last evening. She slowly undressed for me then lay naked on her bed. I came twice. Then I sneaked out the bushes beside her bedroom window and caught the bus home.
General Squeaky (2363) · 25-10-2026 0818I rang the Arthritis Helpline and they asked me to hold. Bastards.
General Squeaky (2363) · 20-10-2026 0733My wife bought a dog yesterday,turned out to be a bad move. We have to keep all our pens and pencils locked up... It's a labradoodle.
General › Random Nonsense Random Nonsense Squeaky (2363) · 19-10-2026 0713I used to have a girlfriend who had ginger hair that went all down her back. There was fuck all on her head, just all down her back.
General › Observational Observational Squeaky (2363) · 30-10-2026 0838Wheelchair user, 72, goes on care home knife rampage, killing woman, 86, and wounding two others. Fuck me, GTA 6 was a long time in development.
General › Tech Annoyances Tech Annoyances theverydevilhimself 🥇 🥈 🥇 (4288) · 18-10-2026 0141I took our wedding photo to The Repair Shop. The only thing they could come up with was adding a couple of gimp masks.
Talking Heads are shite if you ask me Fancy writing a song telling a psycho killer to fuck off and forgetting you had a stutter
General › Random Nonsense Random Nonsense LennysCrevasse 🥉 (1805) · 28-10-2026 1253I have traced my family name back to the Domesday Book. The fact that I don't own a huge estate today is proof that they were all useless, lazy cunts.
General Stallion (1761) · 25-10-2026 1300People always say, "That’s the best thing since sliced bread!" But do you know what the best thing before sliced bread was? Being prescribed medicinal cocaine by a barber to cure the ghosts in your blood.
I answered a personal ad that said, Migraineur Seeks Same. It sounded so romantic,two migraineurs in bed,in a darkened room,moaning with pain. The woman called and we made a date. But she cancelled at the last minute because she had a headache.
General Squeaky (2363) · 11-10-2026 0741When the children came home from school I told there was some bad news and some good news. They were distraught and inconsolable for about an hour when I told them their mother had suddenly collapsed this morning. She was currently in hospital and probably wouldn't last the night. Then I told them the good news. We are having steak,chips and all the trimmings for tea.
General Squeaky (2363) · 09-10-2026 0741