"Don't believe everything you read on the Internet." Abraham Lincoln 1862
General Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 16-04-2026 1930I met a man who used to play the triangle in a Jamaican Reggae Band but he got fed up and left. He said it was just one ting after another.
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 01-04-2026 0919Modern looters are soft! Back in the 70's you had to be fucking hard to run with a colour TV.
General Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 16-04-2026 1229Women and dog shit. The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 06-04-2026 1011They say that jogging in your 60's is a good way to meet people. I just met 2 paramedics, a nurse, a doctor, and almost Jesus.
General shotgunpsycho (123) · 20-04-2026 1047My grandad died when I was quite young.I'll never forget his last words. ' Will you stop fucking about with that ladder. '
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 18-04-2026 0926I attended my first Liars Anonymous meeting last night. They asked me to talk for a few minutes about myself.However,the other members found me so interesting I talked for over an hour. I've just received a phone call this morning,they want me to be their President.
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 12-04-2026 0919Chuck Norris liked his meat so rare he only ate unicorns.
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 17-04-2026 0918My wife is going to leave me because she says I am obsessed with Africa. Kenya believe it? Well,she can Congo fuck herself. The kids are Ghana be upset when we get divorced.
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 11-04-2026 0927My brother was born by cesarean section. He said it didn't affect him in any way but he always leaves the house through the living room window instead of the front door.
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 04-04-2026 0931I'm not saying I live in a hard area., but the other night I went to a pub quiz and the first question was... "What the fuck are you looking at?"
General Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 29-04-2026 1508When my father passed away,the only thing he left was an atlas. It meant the world to me.
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 26-04-2026 0931Me: "I'm going to close this kitchen drawer." Potato masher: "Like fuck you are."
General Stallion 🥉 🥇 (835) · 25-04-2026 1243My interview was going well. The manager said, ' We've spoken about your strong points,do you have any weaknesses? ' ' Yes. I am very honest, ' I replied. ' I don't think honesty is a weakness, ' said the manager. ' I don't give a fuck what you think, ' I shouted.
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 16-04-2026 1026' My half brother is coming to visit us from Australia next month. ' ' I thought he was your brother? ' ' Well,he is but he got badly attacked by a shark out there. '
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 02-04-2026 0925When I told my wife that all the electrical appliances in the house talk to me she just laughed and walked away shaking her head. ' Told you she wouldn't believe it, ' said the kettle.
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 31-03-2026 0911Took a woman home from the pub last night.She didn't look too bad , noticed she had a couple of birthmarks. Woke up this morning and saw they weren't birthmarks,they were cigarette burns.
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 27-04-2026 1018Went to Spain on holiday and decided to go for a drink. I got really annoyed with people touching my buttocks. Apparently it was a tapas bar.
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 14-04-2026 0949I know that Stevie Wonder is blind but I heard that his dick can lip read.
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 07-04-2026 0932Went into town today to hire a private detective,he is very highly recommended. When I got to his office there was a sign that said, Closed. Leave your fingerprints on the door and I'll get back to you.
General Squeaky 🥉 🥉 (586) · 03-04-2026 0930Please don't wear flip flops if your feet look like you could swoop out of the sky and snatch your dinner from a lake.
General shotgunpsycho (123) · 15-04-2026 2202