I refused to believe I was gay and dyslexic. I was in Daniel.

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If I had £10 for every gender, I'd have £20 and a shitload of monopoly money.

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I'm the kind of man who laughs in the face of diversity.

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I've got a date tonight with a girl from Thailand. I just hope I don't end up blowing it.

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Jamie Varley sentenced to whole life term for raping and murdering infant boy he adopted with his partner John McGowan-Fazakerley who was sentenced to 25 years. In other news: Happy Pride Month!

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If male footballers have WAGs what do female footballers have? WAGs.

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How do you torture a homosexual? Throw him into a bottomless pit!

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To honour Pride Month, I made a comprehensive list of all the Middle Eastern nations that are LGHDTV friendly: 1. Israel.

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Now that gay marriage has become legal in the UK, Ikea has responded by exclusively releasing a new range of lesbian furniture in its British branches. There's no screwing involved, and it's all tongue and groove.

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What's the difference between the current sickipedia and Futurama? There's only one Bender on Futurama

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If a girl fucks more than 10 guys in a year she's called a slut. But if a bloke does it he's gay, definitely gay.

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During meditation, a monk asks his master “Master. If a man shaves his arse, is he gay?” His master thought for a moment and replied: “A man who cleans his ,house clearly expects a visitor.”

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Yesterday I got accused of being homophobic. Absolute bollocks. I love Lesbians, they make the best movies.

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What do you call a paki transvestite? Manish

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Watched a movie last night about two gay cowboys who fall in love, but then die of AIDS. I think it was called Bareback Mountin'.

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I've often wondered, if I was stuck on a desert island with a gay guy, no women around, no animals, and every day we are both working really hard to survive and getting leaner and more muscular, if one night a crate of whisky washes up and we were really drunk sitting by the fire underneath the stars... How long before I killed him and cooked him on the fire?

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I was having an argument with my mate Dave in the pub about which British based male singer had the most distinctive voice, he decided to start canvasing other customers in the pub; The first person he asked said "Definitely George Michael . . . or perhaps Elton John?" The next person he asked said "It's bound to be Freddie Mercury . . . or perhaps Will Young?" He asked another person, they said "It's got to be Marc Almond . . . or is it Boy George?" Another customer suggested "Definitely Mika. . . no wait, it might be Olly Alexander?" The last person he asked said "Probably Jimmy Somerville . . . or maybe Holly Johnson?" Dave was getting really frustrated by this point and snapped "For Christ's sake, can't anyone give me a straight answer?"

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In gay men's defence, they're very keen on personal hygiene. Which is surprising, given what they get to to in public toilets.

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Why are Lesbos unhappy? Because you can't pronounce happiness without the penis

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The new bloke at work has invited me round to his place tonight for some 'man fun'. Awesome. I hope he's got table football and a PS5.

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Why do so many gays take so long to come out of the closet? Because some of the clothes in there are just fabulous!

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How do you fit 4 gays on a bar stool? Turn it upside down.

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My gay neighbour said, 'I've got a blind date tonight. Oooohh, I hope he's handsome!' I replied, 'What does it matter? You'll mostly be looking at the back of his head anyway.'

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The Queen was very upset at Princess Diana's funeral. But he still played the piano well.

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Last night I slept 8 hours straight. Except for the 2 hours of hardcore gay orgy dreams. Nod to DraigGoch

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Whaddaya call a Japanese homo? Tak Mashita.

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You're either non-binary or you're not.

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Some people say I'm a bigot but at least I'll admit there are 37 genders. Male, female and 35 kinds of faggot.

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Thanks to supergalley for setting up this new site. The old one was about as much use as a gloryhole in a lesbian bar.

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Arm wrestling: Two blokes holding hands and looking into each other's eyes

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Apparently, the most popular cottaging site for gays in Edinburgh is Calton Hill. Strange that. I thought those fellas would prefer to go up Arthur's Seat.

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It's not all bad this new pronoun shite. I mean, if I'm talking to a girl in a bar and she tells me her pronouns, I immediately know we have nothing in common so I can tell her to fuck off and save time.

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I may hate the queers but I don't hold anything against lesbians. Because they won't let me.

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Whaddaya call a gay Teletubby? Stinky Winky.

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Nicola Sturgeon did not use the kitchen at the home she shared with Peter Murrell as "she doesn't have a passion for cooking", a former SNP MP has claimed. This might sound like a lame excuse for why she never saw his expensive purchases, but to be fair it is widely rumoured that she prefers eating out.

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Did you hear about the Gay magician? He vanished with a poof.

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I got home from work and my American wife had befriended a transvestite tramp and dressed him in one of her old dresses, "Tell me the truth love, " she asked, "does my bum look big in this?"

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One of the anti trans lot said women can't have a penis. Well they have mine whether they like it or not

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What's the difference between a gay man and a microwave? Microwaves don't brown your meat

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What’s the best thing about transphobia? It has finally got people interested in women’s sports.

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Elton John, David Furnish and Justin Bieber are walking down the street, when Bieber trips and ends up with his head wedged in some railings. Furnish says, 'Quick, Elton! Run into that shop over there and get some butter!' Elton replies, 'Nah, I'll just spit on my cock.'

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I was in this bar last night, and this bloke with a moustache came up to me and lisped, 'Fancy a bum?' I replied, 'Uh, no thanks. I've already got one.' What a queer fellow.

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Two men have been found guilty of conspiring to carry out arson attacks on property and a car connected to Keir Starmer. The culprits are believed to have been hired to carry out the attack by a Russian agent. Yup, those boys were up for rent right enough.

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What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? Single.

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What's the difference between 'Influencers' and 'Influenza'? I can tolerate Influenza for a week.

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Last night I shagged a bird with fake tits. Her cock was real though.

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For the next month I'll be wearing pink to raise awareness for people who don't bother to separate laundry.

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The idea that dressing like a slut will get you raped is simply untrue. I tried it last night and I just got the shit kicked out of me.

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What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
 The fridge doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

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In the 1997 TV special An Audience with Elton John, he performed Don't Go Breaking My Heart with the Spice Girls. I prefer to call it Bender And The Skets.

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A skint gay couple need money so one of them gets a job. It's his first day and as he is getting ready the other faggot is lying on the bed wearing a condom having a wank. The first gay says "I'm going out to work and you're just going to lie in bed wanking?" And the second one says "I'm making you a packed lunch!"

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Elton John and his husband are on honeymoon, Elton has to go on a publicity shoot. Elton says to his partner stay here and don't wank while I'm gone, he returns to the room to find cum allover the sheets and says to his husband I told you not to wank, then came the reply I didn't wank, I farted

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I was in the pub last night, and some drunken young wanker called me a poof. I replied, 'I'm not a poof, son. I know your Mum's got a moustache and I do her up the arse, but that doesn't count.'

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"The procedure shouldn't take too long. I'll sedate you then slowly insert this inside your anus. You may feel a sensation of warm liquid but that's perfectly normal, as is some soreness afterwards. Any questions?" I then told the gay man next to be at the bar that he really needs to work on his chat-up lines

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I asked my golf coach how I can hit the ball straighter. He said "Stop wearing pink polo shirts."

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Three gay men sitting in a crematorium, each of them holding urns containing the ashes of their dearly departed boyfriends. First one says "My boyfriend and I used to love going sailing together, so I'm going to spread his ashes on a lake." Second one says "My boyfriend and I used to love going hiking together, so I'm going to spread his ashes on a hillside." Third one says "I'm going to mix my boyfriends ashes up with some curry powder, make it into a vindaloo and eat it." Other two look aghast and ask "What do you want to do that for??" Third one replies "So he can make my arse bleed one last time"

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Facebook's 'acceptable content' algorithm is bigoted, by the way. So much for a 'safe space' for users of all persuasions! In Britain where I live, popular slang for a cigarette is a 'fag'. Try posting that on there and you're out for 30 days. However, in popular British slang a cigarette is also known as a 'straight'. Post that and no-one bats an eyelid. Unbelievable discrimination. Bunch of homophobic poofters.

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2 queers are talking: Faggot 1: Has the paperboy come yet? Faggot 2: Well his eyes are glazing over.

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2 condoms walk past a gay bar ... ...one says to the other "want to go in there and get shit-faced"

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Somebody called Michelle Obama a man and miraculously everybody knows what a woman is again.

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What do you call a Lesbian Paki? Mingita

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Nursing homes are gonna be wild in 50 years when troons get Alzheimer's and start wondering where their dicks went.

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If you're a man who thinks he's a woman, you might have Chomosomes

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One night there was a fire in a block of flats. On the ground floor there lived an elderly couple, they both died of smoke inhalation. On the first floor lived a middle-aged professional married couple, they both died of burns. On the second floor there were three students in a flat-share, they were all burned to a crisp. On the third floor lived a Pakistani doctor and his family of eight, they were also incinerated. On the top floor there lived a couple of young gay guys, they got out quickly and unscathed. How? They already had their shit packed!

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Quinten Crisp got AIDS after being assfucked by a 12 inch cock. Talk about getting off on the wrong foot.

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Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"

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What's the definition of confused? Forty blind lesbians in a fish market.

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