I was standing at the bus stop, just finishing my cigarette, when the bus suddenly left without me. "Cunt!" I shouted. I could've sworn I put the handbrake on.
Accidents/Injuries Stallion 🥉 (1334) · 11-06-2026 0827I was having a lovely sleep earlier until some inconsiderate cunt decided to bounce off my windscreen
Accidents/Injuries root (192) · 25-05-2026 1937Breaking news: three cliff walkers fall to their death in lake district. What are the chances? they all had the same name!
Accidents/Injuries Stickyagain 🥉 (541) · 07-06-2026 1844My granddad downed nineteen aircraft during his military service in World War Two. He's actually still famous as the worst mechanic the RAF ever had.
Accidents/Injuries Hengist (262) · 13-06-2026 0705Saw this old man with one leg leaning on a cash machine. I asked him if he's okay and he replied."Yes son I'm just checking my balance".
Accidents/Injuries Joeydeaconsbastard (410) · 08-06-2026 1349There was a kid in my year at high school who was allergic to water. Well, I say 'allergic'. He drowned.
Accidents/Injuries theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥈 (1063) · 07-06-2026 0719A woman is eagerly waiting for news about her son, who is taking his driving test, when the phone rings. "Hello?" she says, nervously. "He's passed," says the voice on the other end. "First time? That's wonderful!" the woman says. "No missus, I mean he died in the ambulance ten minutes after smashing into that HGV."
Accidents/Injuries Hengist (262) · 11-06-2026 2004They say that if you rest one of your testicles on the top of an empty beer bottle and heat the base of the bottle with a lighter, the testicle will eventually be sucked inside. If anyone has successfully reversed this process, can you please let me know. It's quite urgent.
Accidents/Injuries supergalley (603) · 20-06-2026 1553When I think of all the people I've lost along the way, it makes me wonder whether being a tour guide was the correct career path for me.
Accidents/Injuries Facthunt (21) · 01-06-2026 1643The local social club was having a charity event for women amputees. The place was crawling with fanny.
Accidents/Injuries Joeydeaconsbastard (410) · 22-06-2026 1915I'm watching a women's volleyball tournament and 5 minutes in there's a horrific wrist injury. Hopefully I'll be ok by the final.
Accidents/Injuries innit (350) · 27-05-2026 0124Even today, train drivers are finding innovative ways of going on strike
Accidents/Injuries LennysCrevasse (200) · 20-06-2026 1753During my annual check-up I said, 'Well, Doc, what's the verdict? Think I'll live a long and healthy life?' He replied, 'Doubt it somehow. You see, Mercury is in Uranus right now.' 'Come on, Doc, I don't go in for any of that astrology bollocks!' 'Neither do I, my thermometer just broke.'
Accidents/Injuries theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥈 (1063) · 20-06-2026 1153My mate has had a motorcycle accident. He has a broken leg, broken ribs and brain damage. It's no wonder he crashed really.
Accidents/Injuries Stickyagain 🥉 (541) · 04-06-2026 1813Train driver killed and 89 injured in railway crash. Now that's a Bedfordshire Clanger.
Accidents/Injuries ianwatkins 🥉 🥈 (1368) · 20-06-2026 0717Finally received my hand transplant I asked the surgeon will I be able to play the guitar now. The surgeon said "Yes" I replied "Wow that's incredible because I couldn't play it before".
Accidents/Injuries Joeydeaconsbastard (410) · 23-06-2026 2132What's the difference between Princess Diana and a ginger schoolkid? The kid knows how to handle a belt
Accidents/Injuries LennysCrevasse (200) · 12-06-2026 1314When I think of all the people I've lost along the way, it makes me wonder whether being a tour guide was really the right career path for me.
Accidents/Injuries Facthunt (21) · 30-05-2026 2044