What does a Scouse bird use for sexual protection? A bus shelter
Scousers Irishstu (189) · 16-07-2026 1941I coughed up a bit of phlegm and sneezed at the same time. Then a scouser appeared and said "Not bad mate, how are you?"
Walking around Liverpool with my missus she said to me, "What are all these bits of chocolate bars that are left everywhere? I've seen loads, " "They're Mars bars, " I replied, "it's the bit that helps you work. "
Scousers Kimjongreject (287) · 16-02-2026 1757What does a Scouse girl say after a good hard shag? "Thanks boys".
Scousers Joeydeaconsbastard (1173) · 16-07-2026 1841What do you call a Scouser in a suit? A) The deceased. B) The accused.
Scousers DdraigGoch (729) · 12-06-2026 1650Three Scouse girls return to their block of high rise flats. The nine year old points to a small puddle on the stairs and says, ' That looks like sperm. ' The eleven year old dips a finger in and says, ' It tastes like sperm. ' The thirteen year old dips a finger in and says, ' It is sperm ,but not from any of the men in this building. '
Scousers Squeaky (1948) · 12-05-2026 0923Girl says to her Scouse boyfriend. "Why won't you let me give you a blowjob" He tells her "I don't like any jobs".
Scousers Joeydeaconsbastard (1173) · 05-08-2026 2044"minimum wage" we'd love to pay you less, but aren't allowed to.
Scousers Stickyagain 🥈 (2081) · 03-08-2026 1524Fucked the arse off this girl from liverpool and afterwards I said "Did you enjoy your orgasm"? And she replied "What makes you think I had an orgasm"? I said "it's because you dropped your bag of chips".
Scousers Joeydeaconsbastard (1173) · 20-06-2026 1948I've been out of work for six months now. Need to find a job as soon as possible because I've now got a Scouse accent.
Scousers Joeydeaconsbastard (1173) · 16-06-2026 1904Give an African a fish and he'll eat for a day Give a Scouser a fish, he'll douse it in petrol and hurl it at the police
Scousers LennysCrevasse 🥇 🥉 (1372) · 14-08-2026 1348How do you know when a Scouse bird has an orgasm? She drops her chips
Scousers Irishstu (189) · 17-07-2026 1231What do you call a Scouser without a perm? On chemotherapy
Scousers LennysCrevasse 🥇 🥉 (1372) · 30-05-2026 1023Doreen Lawrence has been made an honorary scouser for her ability to milk a tragedy for twenty years.
Scousers Kimjongreject (287) · 16-02-2026 1758Why do Scouse girls prefer to use tampons? So they can treat their crabs to bungee jumping.
Scousers Joeydeaconsbastard (1173) · 16-08-2026 2115How do Scousers greet eachother? With a loud hey-la
Scousers LennysCrevasse 🥇 🥉 (1372) · 11-08-2026 1319A couple decide they quite want to try anal sex, but the woman decides to play it safe and seek medical advice first. "Anal sex is perfectly safe," says her doctor, "as long as you take it slowly at first and use plenty of lubricant. And you take care not to get pregnant, of course." "What?" says the woman incredulously, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?" "Certainly," replies the doc, "where did you think scousers came from?"
Scousers Allobosca 🥈 (2268) · 12-07-2026 1110Last week, I filled up my car with £135-worth of petrol. I thought, "Sod it. That's just too much", so I drove off without paying. Needless to say, I got caught and my case was heard this morning. The judge gave me a bollocking and an £80 fine. Follow me for more great money-saving tips!
Scousers supergalley (2058) · 25-03-2026 2234Went to Liverpool once,never again. My wife had her bag stolen. She has a colostomy.
Scousers Squeaky (1948) · 23-03-2026 1016It's Saturday night so I was too lazy to cook and had a Rustlers burger. No doubt named after the noise the empty packets make as they blow around council estates.
Scousers ianwatkins 🥉 (2120) · 27-12-2025 2343