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New 'Download' function added to Clips AI vectoring duplicate detection implemented for new jokes Duplicate joke database scanner added; sends detections to Moderators to review 'View Comments' added on the User Menu so you can find all comments on your own jokes 'Followed Jokes' added on User Menu so you can keep track of a joke you've commented on 'Super Vote' - Hold the ⬆️ for 2-4s if you think a joke is REALLY good and it gets double points eMail verification required for sign-up, to help combat enshitifying users IP blocking for confirmed abusers/serial downvoters New 'Download' function added to Clips AI vectoring duplicate detection implemented for new jokes Duplicate joke database scanner added; sends detections to Moderators to review 'View Comments' added on the User Menu so you can find all comments on your own jokes 'Followed Jokes' added on User Menu so you can keep track of a joke you've commented on 'Super Vote' - Hold the ⬆️ for 2-4s if you think a joke is REALLY good and it gets double points eMail verification required for sign-up, to help combat enshitifying users IP blocking for confirmed abusers/serial downvoters
PV 612235
20

Never thought I'd see anything more ironic than a guy in a wheelchair eating a bag of Walkers. Then I saw a black guy drinking a bottle of Innocent.

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3 comments

ianwatkins 🥉 (1843) · 03-12-2025 1428
15

King Charles has revealed his recent treatment for cancer cost him his sense of taste. This is the guy who climbed over Diana to get to Camilla, he never fucking had one.

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0 comments

theverydevilhimself 🥇 🥇 🥈 (2186) · 29-06-2026 0644
13

When people say "he's alright once you get to know him" it actually means "he's a cunt, but you'll get used to it"

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0 comments

Stickyagain 🥈 (1380) · 08-06-2026 1112
12

Probably the sickest joke I ever wrote. Abdul my next door neighbour came round crying and distraught, "My baby girl has died in her cot in the night he cried. " "Oh dear, " I said trying not to laugh, "never mind Abdul, just think of her as another virgin in paradise now for your brave soldiers. "

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1 comment

Kimjongreject (286) · 09-12-2025 1100
11

I once had sex with this really hot black girl. Got to the scene before the fire brigade.

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0 comments

theverydevilhimself 🥇 🥇 🥈 (2186) · 06-06-2026 1921
10

What's black and has 27 tits? The rubbish bag outside the cancer clinic.

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0 comments

Allobosca 🥇 (2375) · 22-06-2026 1106
10

Why don't sharks eat niggers? It's because they think it's whale shit.

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0 comments

Joeydeaconsbastard (1001) · 06-06-2026 2213
9

I am anti abortion. I've got no problem with killing babies, it's just that I'm not comfortable with allowing women to have a choice.

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0 comments

Stallion (1597) · 15-05-2026 1517
8

I got to the end of the till queue and the girl said "sorry about the wait" I said "that's OK, at least you've got a nice personality"

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0 comments

Stickyagain 🥈 (1380) · 07-07-2026 2050
8

When I was young, our family was so poor we had to wank the dog off to feed the cat.

🫡 Salute to root
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0 comments

Stickyagain 🥈 (1380) · 14-06-2026 0643
8

Some young pikey lads came into my local last Friday night. They started noising people up, trying to pick fights and generally acting the cunt. One of them pointed at me and said, 'Oi, mate! Your Mam takes it up the arse for two quid!' I looked him up and down and replied, 'You'd better start saving up, then.'

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0 comments

theverydevilhimself 🥇 🥇 🥈 (2186) · 11-05-2026 2125
7

Serena Williams might be 44 but she's immature in other ways She still pulls her shorts all the way down when she has a piss

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0 comments

LennysCrevasse (693) · 22-06-2026 1810
5

Me: "Go fuck yourself, you cunt." Lady in the queue: "Excuse me, my 10 year old son can hear you." Me: "That's who I was talking to."

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0 comments

Stallion (1597) · 03-03-2026 2127
5

I told Anthony Joshua he was a big, useless, black bastard then put the phone down.

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0 comments

Squeaky (1465) · 12-02-2026 1058
4

Mummy, Mummy! I don't like tomato soup! Shut up son, we only have it once a month.

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0 comments

Allobosca 🥇 (2375) · 01-06-2026 2131
4

In memoriam of 'Holocaust Day' for my wife, I cleaned our oven.

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0 comments

Kimjongreject (286) · 30-01-2026 1159
4

Walking through the park yesterday I saw a boy flailing his arms around and making animal noises. I decided to join him and we both got louder and louder. A woman appeared and said, ' What do you think you are doing? ' ' Playing dinosaurs, ' I replied. ' Fuck off, ' she said, 'he's got Down's Syndrome.'

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0 comments

Squeaky (1465) · 04-01-2026 1105
3

My grandad who ended up on the Burma railway would be spinning in his fucking grave if he saw me cheering on the Nips But here we are

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0 comments

LennysCrevasse (693) · 29-06-2026 1815
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