It will take some effort to get the coffin lid down.

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29 years on, and I can still remember where I was and what I was doing when I heard Diana was dead. I was at the all-night panel beaters in Paris, getting my white Fiat Uno fixed.

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Remember this day 29 years ago? Princess Diana was all over the radio. And the dashboard, and the glovebox...

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So, come up to the lab... And see what's on the slab. Oh, it's me. RIP Frank Furter.

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Nashville have said they plan to have a statue of Dolly Parton made. It would be more appropriate to have a bust!

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My nickname for my cock is Prince. It's small and purple, and hasn't stood up since 2016.

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Gloria Steinem will be doing the dishes for Jesus tonight!

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What do you get if you cross the Queen and Prince Philip? Killed in a tunnel

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"Apparently Dolly Parton suffered from chronic endometriosis resulting in a hysterectomy during the 1980s....therefore she never had children" Remarked David Fuller on his sixth cigarette

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Can you smell curry burning?

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D. Parton has D. Parted.

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i still say the butler killed him, with a candlestick, in the study.

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The Dolly tribute are pouring in, like the one from the only man to survive a tit wank from her, Chuck Norris.

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Dolly Parton's funeral will be held at 4:51pm.

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Well Matthew, tonight I'm going to be David Fuller!

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Diana D ied I n A N asty A ccident

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Not The Nonce O'Clock News

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Jolene may as well now

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Let's face it today we'd all be David Fullers

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Stephanie Cole gets to the Pearly Gates St Peter says, "Sorry. He'll be another five minutes"

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A new probe is set to be launched by NASA later this week directly into the centre of the sun It's called Chris Langham's Hard Drive

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Crisp Langham

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29 years ago, Diana was killed for getting pregnant by Mohamed Al-Fayed's son Dodi. So at least we won't have Islamic rule sneaked into the country surreptitiously.

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It's 29 years today since Process Di was bumped off by Prince Phillip for carrying the unborn child of an Arab despite being mother of the future King.....err I mean, tragically lost her life in a horrific car accident

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I see there's a Dolly tribute album out already. We'll actually, it's more her greatest tits

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Apparently Dolly died of a heart attack. They were going to try chest compressions, but.............

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On this day in 1997: 'Sacre bleu, Pierre! Ees zat blood all over zat wall?' 'Non, non, non, Pascal. Eet's just Di.'

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I was only 16 when Diana died in that crash My mum woke me up to tell me. Not our proudest wanks

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I suppose when she decomposes a bit more we can start selling her image as Dollywogs?

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Can you smell Cole burning?

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People who indulge those having a pop at Dolly Parton immediately after her death are bang out of order Now is really not the time to be entertaining her knockers

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David Fuller can't wait to have IT off tonight

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The warden casually asked David Fuller if he'd ever known anyone like Dolly Parton He said he'd never double checked the fridge door to have a look

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