When I was a young boy I met the guy who did the voice of Tony the Tiger. I got RRRRRrrrrrraped!

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Found a documentary box set about the making of The Vagina Monologues. I'm minge-watching it.

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If Buck Rogers was remade today, which black actor would play Buck Rogers?

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Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick about two girls trying to kill each other over shoes.

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Groundbreaking new spinal cord implant allows paralysed patients to walk, swim, cycle, and even ride a canoe. Have they tried Tampax?

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I just watched that King Kong film from 1933, it was so unrealistic. When he climbed the Empire State Building he didn't throw his own shit at the planes.

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Star of 7 Up is now 7 Down

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I once took a girl to see Star Wars on a date. I really wanted to Leia, but she wouldn't even give me a Chewie. So I just went home for a Hand Solo.

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Playing the piano is quite difficult. I know that because all the cunts who try to play the free one at the train station are fucking shit at it. Thanks Channel 4.

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I never wash my clothes or clean my teeth. It may seem disgusting but according to the adverts doing those things will make your skin turn black.

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While watching "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" in bed, I turned to my wife and asked, "Want to have sex?" Without even glancing my way, she replied, "No." "Is that your final answer?" I asked. "Yes," she said firmly. "Alright," I said, "then I’d like to phone a friend." And that’s when the fight began.

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The BBC have just held a minutes’ silence for all the people who have died of Coronavirus. Not quite as emotional as the 40 years of silence they had for victims of child sexual abuse by their staff

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I just finished watching "100 Greatest Sexy Moments" on Channel 4, what a load of rubbish! How did the greenhouse scene from Scum not make the list?

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Another year I’ve managed to avoid watching the Bore-O-Vision Nonce Contest. Who won? I did

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8.25pm. My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with Big Brother.

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What do you get if you cross Star Trek with a gay porno? Star Trek Discovery

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Of course the real Joker is the guy that released Folie et deux as a sequel to a movie worth actually watching

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