After cutting my female neighbours grass she knocked on my door and said "Thank you, I could marry you!" What's the world coming to, you do something nice for someone and they threaten to fuck your life up beyond belief?
Marriage / Wedding Kimjongreject (286) · 22-01-2026 1847A newlywed calls her mother and says, 'On my wedding night, I discovered that John only has one foot.' Her mother replies, "Count yourself lucky! Your father only has four inches."
Marriage / Wedding supergalley 🥈 (169) · 16-03-2026 0344A man and a woman who had never met before found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly: him in the upper bunk and her in the lower. At 1:00 AM the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed. "Good," she replied. "Get your own fucking blanket.
Marriage / Wedding supergalley 🥈 (169) · 10-12-2025 0333I bought the wife a water bed.... We started drafting apart
Marriage / Wedding Jimfixeditforme (72) · 10-01-2026 1659Why do brides wear white? So the dishwasher matches the fridge and the oven
Marriage / Wedding supergalley 🥈 (169) · 14-12-2025 0108A man and his wife are on their honeymoon. On the first night the man comes downstairs and says. I love to fish. Who will come fishing with me. I will pay them £50. Well, the night porter agrees, but on the boat asks. 'You are on your honeymoon. Why are you not fucking your good lady wife in the cunt?' Man replies. 'Well, the lady, she has gonorrhoea, and you know I love to fish.' Next night same things happen. The night porter has been thinking about the man's situation and this time asks. 'You are on your honeymoon. I understand your wife has a disease of the cunt, but can't you fuck her in the arse?' Man replies. 'Well, the lady, she has Diarrhoea, and you know I love to fish.' The next night same things. 'You are on your honeymoon. I understand your wife has a disease of the cunt and the arse, but can't you fuck her in the mouth?' The Man replies. 'Well, the lady, she has foot and mouth, and you know I love to fish.' The next night the same thing. 'You are on your honeymoon. I understand your wife has a disease of the cunt and the arse and the mouth, why did you marry this diseased bitch?' Man replies. 'Well, the lady, she has worms, and you know I love to fish.'
Marriage / Wedding Allobosca 🥇 🥇 (479) · 21-04-2026 2109I feel for Broklyn Beecham or whatever he's called, my mother-in law ruined our first dance at our wedding back in 1977 by not being dead.
Marriage / Wedding Kimjongreject (286) · 21-01-2026 0947