The police stopped me last night as I was driving home. They said "have you had a drink tonight?" I said yes, 6 pints of Guinness, four whiskey chasers, and a few sambuca shots" They said "blow into this please" I said "what for, don't you believe me?"
Motoring Stickyagain 🥈 (1380) · 03-08-2026 1815I was in a taxi today and the driver said "I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do." Then I said "Turn left here".
Motoring notbaldbob (1172) · 05-07-2026 2316I rang my mate this morning and asked what he was doing. He replied "probably failing my driving test"
Motoring Stickyagain 🥈 (1380) · 12-06-2026 1420I was driving to work when a Lollipop lady cleaned the snow off my windscreen. Although, I think the impact helped a bit.
Motoring Stallion (1597) · 06-01-2026 1222"I don't know why they say that tourists are clogging up the roads. It's totally clear in front of us," I said. As I trundled along in my motor home at 25 fucking miles per hour!
Motoring Stallion (1597) · 02-07-2026 1100I must look really sexy in my new convertible BMW. Loads of other motorists have signalled that they plan on having a wank later.
Motoring madgringo (47) · 03-12-2025 2325One time I was out driving and I got stuck behind a learner, trundling along at 25 in a 40 zone. I started tailgating the cunt, flashing my lights and honking my horn. As soon as I got the chance to overtake I cut the bastard up, forcing him to brake sharply. As I sped off I turned to my passenger and said, 'Fucking learners! Complete pain in the arse, aren't they?' It was at that point he told me I'd failed my test.
Motoring theverydevilhimself 🥇 🥇 🥈 (2186) · 12-06-2026 2107My mate phoned me and asked what I was doing. "Probably failing my driving test," I replied.
Motoring Stallion (1597) · 15-12-2025 0645What’s the difference between a proctologist and a HGV driver? A proctologist only has to deal with one arsehole at a time!
Motoring supergalley 🥉 🥉 (1405) · 21-12-2025 1143