At the cinema last night, for a laugh I flicked a few peanuts at a lass sitting a few rows in front of me. She didn't half overreact! Well, the paramedics called it Anaphylactic Shock.
Pranks theverydevilhimself 🥈 🥈 (1063) · 13-06-2026 1546I joined a dating site. A woman wrote "Looking for a man who will be the reason I close my account." After a couple of weeks of threatening to rape and murder her and her whole family she finally did. I love helping people.
Pranks ianwatkins 🥉 🥈 (1368) · 12-06-2026 0016My white van was dirty and I saw my cheeky neighbour write "WASH ME" in the dirt. So I got a screwdriver and scratched "PAINT ME" on her BMW.
What's the best way to determine the gradient of a shop doorway? Piss in it. (Nod to Abdul's kebab shop in Chipping Norton)
Pranks ianwatkins 🥉 🥈 (1368) · 06-06-2026 0531Me and the wife Just watched Last Tango in Paris. I turned to her and said that Marlon Brando film gives me a kinky idea. Then I stabbed her to death like Martin Sheen in Apocalypse Now.
Pranks ianwatkins 🥉 🥈 (1368) · 03-05-2026 2022