A nun went into an off license and asked for a bottle of whisky. "Whisky?", the assistant asked, "I thought you nuns didn't drink!" "We don't", the nun replied, "This is for the Mother Superiors constipation!" She bought the whisky and left. Later that night the assistant saw the same nun dead drunk on a park bench. "I thought that was for the Mother Superior's constipation?", he said. "It ish!", she replied, "When she sees me like this, she'll shit herself!"