A jumbo jet in landing in Las Vegas. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Vegas and thanks for flying with us", says the pilot but he forgot to turn of the microphone. "Captain, what are you going to do in Vegas?", asked the copilot. "Well, I'm going to check into the hotel, have a bloody good crap, and then I'm taking that beautiful new stewardess out to dinner", replies the pilot. Everyone in the cabin started looking for the new stewardess. She's so embarrassed that she RUNS to the cockpit to turn off the mike. Halfway there she trips over an elderly lady's bag and falls flat on her face. The old lady looks at her calmly and says... "No need to rush dear, he's gonna take a crap first!"...