An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman decide to play a game of Soggy Biscuit "The last time I played this, I spaffed on the biscuit second so I didn't have to eat it", boasts the Englishman "Och yeah? The last time I played this, I jizzed on a wee cracker first and I didn'ae have to eat it", brags the Scotsman "Well", says Paddy. "De last toime oy played this, I chucked me muck first and I ate the feckin ting" "Why", ask the Englishman & Scotsman "You see", says Paddy, "It was me versus the wife"