I was watching television in our lounge when I heard someone wailing and crying outside. When I looked out the window saw it was our young son. ' Come inside and tell me what's wrong, ' I said. ' But I'm not allowed in the lounge with my trainers, ' he replied. ' Don't worry about that, mate, ' I said, ' they're new. ' When he came into the lounge I said, ' Now tell me what's upsetting you. ' ' I stood in a big pile of dog shit, ' he cried.