Little Jerome stole a bike. Moments later he cycled through a junction, was hit by a car and died. An intense white light swallowed him up and he found himself at the Pearly Gates of heaven, he was second in line in a short queue. The gates slowly and majestically swung open and Saint Peter walked out holding his list of 'new admissions', he glanced down his scroll and announced "Miriam Edwards, step forward". The middle-aged lady at the front of the queue took a few steps towards Saint Peter, he reached into a great golden chest and produced a breathtaking pair of luminescent feathered wings, he attached them to Miriam's shoulders and said "Miriam, I welcome you in to God's Kingdom, for a lifetime of kindness and charity you have been awarded the ultimate accolade, you are to be an Angel!" Miriam smiles, soars into the air and enters heaven. Saint Peter announces "Jerome Harriot, step forward". Jerome takes a few steps towards Saint Peter who is rummaging in his great golden chest. He produces an enormous set of wings, black and shimmering like gossamer. He fixes these to Jerome's shoulders. Jerome exclaims excitedly "Saint Peter, am I also to be an Angel?" Saint Peter smiled and chuckled, "Unfortunately not Jerome, you're being reincarnated as a bat you thieving black bastard!"