Guy wants a new hunting dog. Sees a sign at a farm "FANTASTIC HUNTING DOG FOR SALE". So he enquires. Farmer says "this Labrador is only 6 months old, but it's really special" "How?" "It can walk on water. Watch." So the farmer takes the hunter to a pond, and throws a stick. The Labrador walks across the water and retrieves the stick, with only it's paws getting wet. The farmer does this three more times. "Wow! That's incredible!! How much?!" "£3000" "Ouch. Expensive, but I'll take it." * * * * The following weekend, the hunter is out shooting ducks with his mate, who is a bit of a blowhard. He decides to impress him with his new dog. He shoots a duck and sends the Labrador across the pond. It walks across the water, without getting wet, and retrieves the duck. The hunter's partner says nothing. This goes on for the rest of the day. The hunter bags six ducks, each time his new Labrador walks on water to retrieve the duck. But his partner makes no comment. So the hunter is a bit annoyed. On the drive home he finally turns to his hunting partner and asks: "Didn't you notice anything unusual about my new Labrador?" His partner replies: "Aye, it cannae fucking swim."