Worst solar eclipse ever! 1 star

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A woman who stabbed 4 men in Covent Garden has been arrested, with Police saying she was mentally ill. So she was a Muslim?

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Just got back from wine- tasting in Bordeaux Must say, this year's Claret has a rather smoky finish

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The suspect in the Berlin terrorist attack was shot in a allotment…do you think he was a plant

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If anyone is interested, I've got some blinding deals on fake eclipse glasses.

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Sixteen- and seventeen-year-olds may be given a midnight social-media curfew. Good. It’s unhealthy for them to be awake at 2am blocking me.

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Bonfirejour

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"Jason Arday, the former University of Cambridge professor at the centre of a plagiarism row, has been found dead." It's Friday, he'll be back on Sunday, after all he's the black Christ.

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I for one will miss Jason Arday. I flashed him over on a pedestrian crossing on my way to the bookies the other day, and blow me, it came in. I won £75. Call me superstitious, but its good luck if a black copycat crosses your path

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Britain was today the setting of a spectacular cosmic drama as the sun's light was obscured by the passage of the moon, leading to breathtaking scenes across the country... ...apparently.

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A manhunt has been launched by police after serial child-rapist Cliff Lyons Dobbie escaped from custody in Perth. Officials have said that the violent paedophile was accidently freed after a prison officer was tricked into giving him a sock.

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Coffin rescued from burning 160-year-old church: a coffin containing a body prepared for a funeral service was rescued from a large fire at St Andrew's Church, Leicester. I take it that it wasn't destined for the crematorium, then?

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Can someone explain these el niño wet summers to me again please?

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